I want love, too,
More than I can articulate with any eloquence
I guess wanting love repels it
Giving love pushes it away
Expressing desire somehow makes one undesirable
We live in quite the world of opposites!
There's really no chance of winning, is there?
Intelligence isn't enough
Natural beauty isn't enough
Transcendent sex isn't enough
Earning power isn't enough
I suppose that means I'm also not enough
Not worth the effort
Not worth the call
Not even worth a proper goodbye...
Worthy of every abuse under the sun though!
Worthy of unwarranted judgement, too
Of unfair appraisals for being too fair
Of rape (and broken bones, bruises on my breasts and other betrayals...)
Oh, and worthy of being used, by so, so many people
So many...I can't even remember you all!
That's not a good thing
Kindness is free, you know
I sometimes wish I could be cruel
Ruthlessness leads to prosperity, after all
We're made to feel like nothing
So others feel better for all of a nanosecond
I suppose it doesn't matter
We all die anyway
Nihilism is my favourite color these days...
*I'm pretending to care*
But usually work hard pretending not to
Makes people feel better
Maybe it makes me feel better, too
Apparently, it's terribly easy to cast me aside
And, ah yes, disappoint me...
Heartily so. I am, indeed, greatly disappointed.
I wanted success for love
But perhaps success is being free not to?
If that's the case, perhaps Death is the answer to Life???
That makes most of us a bunch of cowards
Running away from something that doesn't have to chase us
In this moment, I wish I could run away, too
Maybe to the Maldives
No one ever says, "I want to run away to Nebraska"
Such a shame...nice folks there.
Unwanted patriarchal prats
The world is full of us...the unwanted
However, people want to take up my time
They want my body, too
And, lest we forget--my money!
But only to satisfy whims (that tend to have more brevity than wit)
There's not a single shred of decency (or honour) left on the planet, is there?
That doesn't reflect poorly on me, by the way
It reflects poorly on you--the idiots who can't get out of their own way
All of the above means the human world is devoid of value in and of itself
Red-flag Alert: You even have to pay for friendship!
Commodification hasn't done us many favors....
I'm not sure why I fought so hard to be here
To stay here
Purpose, I suppose
The search for that one perfect moment
Well, I found it in October...now what?
Yeah, I like #Fairytales SO much better....
*original photo below copyright Rebecca Housel 2020