The first three months of #2017 ends today...are you any closer to your goals?

We marked June 1st as our half-way point to success in January. In February, we talked about starting small. Sticking with one new change for a month. June 1st is in 61 days. That may seem like a "long" time, but 90 days have passed since we first set that goal. How have you moved yourself closer to personal success in that time?

It's okay if you haven't achieved every short term goal you set in the last 90 days. But, with 61 days remaining before the halfway point of #2017, this is the right time to take stock. Without beating yourself up (no self-sabotage allowed!), note how, when and where you can improve your efforts in order to improve your chances of future success.

Remember, you are the boss of your own life. You may need a full-time job to pay the bills, but YOU and YOUR HAPPINESS are your REAL full-time job. Yes, that means working overtime to achieve your goals so you can follow your bliss, whatever that may be, but you are worth every effort! Still, it is hard to stick to changes when life happens. And, life happens every day.

Today's essay is your "limitless" pill. Yes, like the film. Except, it doesn't come with Bradley Cooper's magnetic blue eyes. It won't change who you are either. But with these words, you can clear away all the mind-garbage and get to work on that idea you have. You know the one--it's the thing you keep putting off because you're daunted by it. Whether it's starting a new business, a new creative project, building a family, a home, or, reuniting with "the one who got away," when you get the idea itself, you also get ALL the light (or energy) you need to make it happen. But, there's a catch....

You may get all the energy you need to make it happen when you first conceive of the idea, BUT, you have to be strong enough to push through the obstacles in order to access that energy. The distractions. The detours. The road blocks. You have to be committed. Stay the course. Be undeterred. That's harder than it sounds.

If you're human and an adult, it's likely you've been beaten up a little by the world. I know I have. And, the burden of the consequences of another's actions is very difficult to digest. Those consequences are the essence of trauma.

Trauma is something you just can't shake. Survival is why. We learn new fears from trauma. Those fears are meant to help us survive, not thrive. In fact, fear inevitably prevents us from thriving. However, just existing is not a real life. Yes, you're alive, but you're not living. In order to take full advantage of the life you currently have, you must learn to be selective when listening to fear. But, how can you do that? That's where my literary "limitless" pill comes in handy.

Your trigger phrase is #NoMoreFear to push you to get started. But when you inevitably stall from the seemingly innumerable distractions provided by life,  remember the word, #limitless.

You are truly unlimited, but our physicality often blinds us from seeing our own potential. A messy house, a flat tire, a bad boyfriend, an awful boss, a difficult child, a negative person who haunts your dreams and persecutes you for your religion--wait a minute, I think that's just me, lol. Whatever your reason(s) for feeling overwhelmed, we all have traumas that stick with us. We blame others for holding us back...but, look at yourself right now: Are there chains on your wrists? Do you have shackles on your ankles? If you answered "no" to these questions than you can say "yes" to your #limitless potential. You just have to want to.

When things get tough, it's your cue to get tougher. That's the bottomline. No more excuses! You can cry whenever you want, as long as you don't stop moving forward.

Screenshot the list below and make it the background on your phone:

1. I am worthy of #happiness.

2. I am worthy of real #love.

3. I am worthy of #success.

4. I have good #ideas.

5. I have all the #light I need to manifest #PositiveEnergy

6. #StartSmall...one step at a time, one day at a time.

7. #NoMoreFear...I control my thoughts, therefore I control my emotions.

8. #Limitless...I have invisible #Wings.

9. #Rise...the gravity of this world does not affect me.

10. #Faith...I am #connected to and #beloved by the #Universe.

11. #Undaunted...every failure is just another #opportunity for success.

Read over these #11 points each day. Use the words with hashtags as triggers to help you get through whatever difficulty is before you. The number #11 is considered the primary #MasterNumber in #Numerology and symbolizes #Awakening and the beginning of unconditional love. Practice unconditional love of the self, and you will be able to give it to others in the future.

#2017 is your year! In 60 days, you will have completed the foundation for future success if you stay on track. Use my #11-point plan for improved mental clarity to say "ba-bye" to the mind-garbage and "hello" to more opportunity, better health and improved wealth.

I believe in you! Now, it's your turn to do the same....

#Limitless

Kiss me. Then kiss me again. And, again. Push my arms over my head. Slide your hands down my silken skin until our fingers intertwine. Our souls become one as our bodies do. But it's really all about that kiss. Unforgettable. Undeniable. Irresistible. Like two flames dancing. Flashing white and blue and orange as our heat rises. Together in the dark. Your lips on mine. My lips on yours.

I'm not sure I even remember how anymore. To kiss like that. To kiss at all.

What does it feel like? To be whole again??? I really don't know.

I'm afraid my eyes will leak when it happens. Coming back to life. Feeling the electricity course through my body. And, yours....

Kiss me. Then kiss me again. And, again. From one sunrise to the next. Under the stars. In the ocean. On top of a mountain. Sway with me under the stars. Watch the sunset peek through the trees at twilight. Make love to me until dawn, Then, start all over. Your hand in mine. My hand in yours.

I am scared. More scared than when a malignant tumor threatened my life. Twice. More scared than when I faced having to walk across a room without a walker. Or, a cane.

You draw your thumb across my bottom lip. You kiss the palms of my hands. I kiss yours, too. Then, you kiss my lips.. Accepting eyes greet my smile. For my smile. Your kisses trail my reward down my breasts, my belly and send me to heaven. You look up at me, watching me.

I want that. Because, I want you. You want me, too....

Kiss me. Then kiss me again. And, again. In this lifetime and the next. Throughout the great expanse of time. GPS my soul. Find me. No matter how many miles are between us. Find me, and hold me. Never let me go. Your body on mine. My body on  yours.

I am sad. And sadder still. But one day, I will be happy. I once wrote about The Future in the past. Now, I hope this future passes quickly.

Do you? You whispered through the space between that you would be with me when I die. That, I would close my eyes and see yours. Wherever I go, you will somehow be there. And, I am so grateful.

Pearls are dew-drops in my hair. Diamonds on my lashes. Sunshine locks cascade down my back. I am clothed in shimmering moonlight. Waiting. For you. For that kiss. The kiss that never ends....

#Kiss

How do you turn off a voice that still cheers you on from phantom sidelines? How do you stop swaying to music that no longer plays?

How??? I'd really like to know....

I'd like to know how to turn off my heart, too. Unconditional love sounds great, except, it means you love, even when you're betrayed. You love, even when you're discarded. You love, no matter what.

Perhaps humanity has evolved beyond love. Loyalty, now a relic. Promises, antiques. Honor, ancient. Backwards somehow. A person's word is only as meaningful as the time it takes for a collection of syllables to spill out of the mouth.

Maybe I belong to a different time. A time when "forever and always" wasn't something you said unless you meant it. A time when joy was not taken for granted. Thrown away. Like garbage.

A time when real love really mattered....

So many broken hearts today. So many in love with another yet separated from that person because of ego. Pride.

When did love become the enemy? Disconnecting from your connection, de rigueur??? But "when" isn't the right question...it's "what." What's made it so easy to walk away from real love???

Tinder. Grindr. Hater. Take your pick.

Swipe right. It's easy. Fun. Get fucked. Do it all again 24 hours later. The globalization of love will see a lot of empty, lonely people in the future.

You don't love only one person because it's the only choice you have. Or, it's "the best you can get." If that's how you feel, you need to find real love, real fast. When you do, choose committing to that one person who loves you in a way you've never been loved before. Because, that's the foundation of a stable home. A stable life. It's the space that allows you to feel supported, happy, and capable. When you feel those things, you can literally do anything.  But I suppose that is an old-fashioned way of thinking now.

Too much pressure. You'd have to be self-responsible to maintain it. Takes effort. Sweat-equity. And, no one wants to be accountable today. The "bail out" mentality isn't just for banks....

Shame and guilt have disappeared. That's why honor has disappeared, too. And, it's also why people disappear. With relative frequency. Integrity and character are virtual concepts used only in online gaming. To benefit your virtual team. While  in reality, everyone must accept disrespect or be accused of being disrespectful.

We live in a society of natural lawyers. Duplicity is rewarded. Moral relativism, expected. In less than 50 years, people with illness and disease will be given injections and sent to ovens. A different kind of Holocaust. Because, as long as you're honest, being unethical is okay....

But, it isn't okay. Humanity has grown lazy. Fat. No one wants to have responsibility anymore. It means not eating a donut on National Donut Day. It means doing what is right, because it's right. Not because you feel like it.

I am not like the Willow. I do not bend. I do not break either. Immortality in a world filled with people made of glass is grief-incarnate. I grieve for me. And, I grieve for all of you.

Do you really believe that you must wear a uniform and hold a gun to be at war??? You are all fighting for your lives, when you should be fighting for real love. It's why you're here. On Earth. Or, you would be a tree instead. Maybe a crow. A snail. An earthworm. Understand???

Humanity has lost its purpose. There is only impulse. Instant gratification. How very sad. Because, there's nothing more satisfying than fucking for hours upon hours. Being patient. Kind. Generous. Building on one orgasm after another, after another. Using fingers, tongues, lips, skin-on-skin.

I suppose you only know what you're missing, if you're missing real love....

Stop whining about lost love to strangers in online forums. Congratulating each other on your mutual sorrow. When you can't stop thinking of another person for years, you love them. Since instructions appear to be needed, here's how you get that real love back:

1) Get off your ass

2) Be honest

3) Don't screw it up again

You'll die one day anyway; you may as well die knowing you lived. And, loved. Unless, of course, you don't "feel" like doing either....

Living is a lot of work. So is real love. Simpler to disappear and fantasize about what you had. That's enough, right??? At least you tried? Order from GrubHub and binge on bullshit and Netflix instead. It's easier. Especially with Apple Pay. Maybe play some video games. Watch YouTube. Someone is bound to swipe right on your profile tomorrow.

Yeah, that's SO MUCH better than earning bliss....

#Crow

That was the face staring at me on my screen yesterday. Those blues, unforgettable. I'd dreamt about her, many, many times. But when I opened my phone, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes, and saw her...my heart seized. The pain was so acute, I thought I was having a heart attack--as if someone were squeezing the four-chambered organ, tighter and tighter.

This angelic face came in the midst of #224 being literally everywhere: School buses, license plates, phone numbers, receipts...I felt like I was going insane. It's one thing if you look for those numbers, but I wasn't looking. I'd be in traffic and a car would cut in front of me with a license plate that had a series of letters followed by "2224". Then, a mile or so up the road, a transport-van with a phone number ending in "2242" was waiting next to me at a traffic light. An ad on TV selling "2 for $24!" flashed  across the flat screen later that day. The numbers even showed up in my research...the solar longitude for the 10th lunar month in the Chinese calendar is between 224-degrees and 244-degrees. No, I'm not kidding. 

Next, #224 appeared on my car-clock...which may not seem  unusual, except that I wasn't sitting and waiting for the clock to turn to the right numbers. I was driving and talking on Bluetooth when I asked what time it was, anxious I might be late. "Around 2:30," was the reply so I looked at the clock to get a more specific read, and there it was: Another #224! But the synchronicities didn't end there.

The analytics for a particular blog post I'd written showed #224 views that same day as well. I tried to document as many of these synchronicities as possible. For my own benefit. Just to verify that I really did see #224 over and over and over again, and, in a myriad of different ways. Numerologists would have a field day...#224 isn't just urban-slang for "2day, 2morrow & 4ever," it also encompasses multiple #MasterNumbers in combinations that represent #Awakening, #TwinFlames, #MasterBuilders, #AscendedMasterBuilders, #MasterTeachers, and #ArchAngels, as well as the karmic debt number for cause-and-effect, infinity, and even abundance...IF the soul carrying that number makes the necessary adjustments and clears the negatives, that is.

Later on, an invitation to a women's event showed up in my Inbox at exactly 2:24pm. I ended up not being able to attend, but because of that email, I was invited to march in a St. Patrick's Day parade celebrating it's 40th year! My grandparents came to the States from Cork. Today, I'm connected to Ireland through colleagues in the publishing industry; we are collaborating at this very moment on a mental health volume being published this fall. Many of my favorite people live in Ireland. In fact, when I die, I will be remembered in Ireland. That's where you will find my marker. In Cork. I can only hope my survivors follow my wishes and spread some of my ashes there, while spreading the rest between Red Top Mountain in Georgia, Cape Cod in Massachusetts, Shark Beach in Sydney, Australia, and the Ganges River in India. What a great trip that will be! Retracing my steps all over the world, leaving a little piece of me behind in every location. That's the best memorial I could ever ask for. Besides a giant "After Party" with white stretch limos, disco lights, loud music, and free shots of good tequila and bourbon--my favorites--served up with my personal recipes for home-made mac-n-cheese, Tuscan pizza with fresh basil, and, bourbon banana bread topped with berry salad, smothered in my home-made bourbon whipped cream, and drizzled in my special caramel sauce. Oh yes, that will be something to remember. Like those blue eyes....

I had a dream before waking this morning. It was winter and I was walking with ski poles along a road not too far from me. The bridge was out but the snow and ice had created a natural bridge. My little dog was with me, too. I was hesitant to cross the bridge, concerned that we may not be able to cross back if it melted. But, crossing was necessary. I'm not sure why except to say it is a bridge I often have to cross in real life. It was closed for repairs for nearly a year and re-opened just last weekend. I drove over it for the first time five days ago, on my way to a funeral. Perhaps that's why when my dog and I tried to return to the other side in the dream, we found the natural bridge had fallen into the frigid water below. I was not too disheartened though, because I knew I'd find another way back eventually. My main concern was that my little companion was getting too close to the edge. 

The dream was essentially about crossing a point of no return. In life, we're often unaware of those moments. I'm brave, confident and capable, so I will always cross a questionable bridge if it's necessary to move forward. While I crossed the bridge in the dream with every intention of going back, things beyond my control created consequences I then had to live with. Maybe that bridge represents the next phase of my life. If things had gone the way I hoped two years ago, I'd have that little girl in the picture. But I turn 46 this year; that was a dream I started at 42. You can see why I may be psychologically traveling to places from which I cannot return. Not now, or ever. That beautiful face in the picture may have to be one of those places....

Second chances abound in our 20's and 30's, but by our mid-40's, there are fewer and fewer chances we can afford to take, because, frankly, we have less time. I'm not dying tomorrow; that's not what I mean. However, with each passing day, my chances of having another child decrease. Not because of age--that's no longer the biggest stumbling block. It's more about time itself. And, the clock just turned 12:24. Right on cue!

While I'm fully prepared to live my life without having more children, I really wanted more. Regret isn't something I feel though because I did everything in my power to make that happen. Yet somehow, without even realizing it, I walked across a bridge made of snow and ice; it melts a little more with each passing day. I cannot go backwards now, even if I wanted to. No one can, but if you're 10 years younger than me, you have 10 years more to find that second chance. Mine may be right around the corner...I can't say for certain at this point. All any of us can do is live the best life we possibly can. No matter what happens to your bridge in the interim.

My Inbox has 2,442 emails tonight. That may seem like a lot, but I just emptied it a few days ago. Apparently, that numerical combination carries a meaning, besides the related #224 synchronicities I've experienced in the last few days. The number advises not to waste time on people who don't support me or bring me joy in any way, but instead, to use that time to move my life-purpose forward. Patience is recommended; the right people will show up at the right time to open the right doors. Unconditional love of the self will be rewarded when I help others to do the same. 

Guess that means I'm not quite done yet. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there....


#AwakeLife #TwinFlames Post-script: I just remember hearing her voice. It was in the dream. Right before I woke. She was giving me a new math problem. I anxiously awaited the first number. Wherever we were, it was all white. I could barely see her face. She said, smiling, "Multiply two times...," and I waited for the number "twenty-four," but she saw the anticipation on my face and changed her mind: "Two times twenty-six." #226??? We'll see what the future brings. Perhaps the #224 simply means my true soulmate is born on the 22nd; with my soul number being "4", that would make a #224. The new number has me wondering if I meet this "22" in the month of June (6). Time will tell!

Adele...I hate her songs, lol. All of them make me cry. Like thinking about my stay at this old inn a few summers ago. It was raining like mad. Lightening was cracking open the night sky. It was so dark, I could barely see amidst the sheets of rain. When I finally arrived at this historic bed-n-breakfast, the front door had a note on it: "We had to leave rather suddenly but your room keys are on the table inside."

Who leaves  "rather suddenly" at midnight??? Vampires? Witches? My imagination ran wild, along with the other guest arriving late. But things got even worse when I opened the front door and stepped inside....

Dolls. So many, many dolls. All staring with their empty glass eyes in this Gothic house that looked like it hadn't been changed since 1800, except, of course, for the dolls. A doll collection this size had to belong to an immortal of some kind. There were thousands of them, piled on top of each other like a Victorian curiosity from a #PennyDreadful.

The other late arrival helped me with my bag since our hosts were clearly off feeding on innocents or worshipping Satan...one or the other. But once I stepped into my room, my fears dissipated. It was like something out of a romance novel. The canopy bed, the carved, antique furnishings...and, that bathroom! The tub was huge!!! Yes, I was in love....

In the morning, I had opportunity to meet the lovely owners, neither of whom were vampires. Or, witches. Just a couple of nice folks who loved history, horses, and, yes, dolls. I walked the extensive grounds...in the rain. It was terribly dreary. But the horses were out and the swans were floating in the pond. The charm of the old barn had me practically seeing the ghosts of its' past, carrying out their chores while a young boy with a piece of straw in his mouth leaned one-legged against a small doorway. I had a feeling that, whoever that bare-footed boy was, he lived inside the barn...the extra-small door built just for him.

Even though that was years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. That's why I hate Adele's songs. When love is real, it's forever, too. You never forget. Even if you haven't seen your lover in years, you can still remember every moment you spent loving each other. So, no, there is no such thing as water under the bridge when it comes to real love. All that stops two people separated by life from reuniting again is pride. Pride, and yes, ego. Adele sings about both. And, the follies of love in all its many forms. Hence, my tears.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to that day at the inn. I wish for so many, many things. But, wishes don't come true. Love isn't a fairy tale either. It's actually a miracle. And, miracles take effort. That's part of the magic. Doing something extraordinary--something you would only do for the person you love.

Have you ever had someone do something like that for you? Something extraordinary??? If you have, and you're not with that person today...what are you waiting for?!?!  Miracles are rare. Go find your miracle again!

I did a guest interview on #love with Wes Forsythe for his Valentine's Day podcast on paranormalfiller.com last month; he said something during our show that struck me as too true to forget:

"We (humans) are masters at messing up our Destiny...."

Wes was right. We are all our own worst saboteurs. When we betray another, it is because we want to betray ourselves. We want to sabotage our own lives. Our own happiness. Because, deep-down, we don't feel we deserve things like real love. Or, miracles.

You do deserve it, though. The miracle of real love. If you're reading my blog, you deserve much more, too...not because you read me. Because, you are ready to live an #AwakeLife. And THAT is why you're here.

#AwakeLife means no more excuses. No more lies. It means rising up from the ashes of failure and claiming  your success--no matter what. You aren't meant for suffering; you're here only to clear negatives so you might live a life full of love. No more fear. No more silence. No more lies. If you lost real love, you need to go find it again. Waiting for Fate to intervene is just another excuse. Another lie. Destiny is a choice. If you remember that, you have a much better chance of finding your happy ending...because, nothing can stand in your way. Nothing but you, that is. 

#2017 is a year of creation. So, create the life you want. Find your miracle again and be with the person you love. Throw yourself into reconnecting with that love the way you threw yourself into denying it in the first place. And, you will be successful. Just don't give up this time....

None of us can go backwards. We can only ever move forward. If you fear repeating the negatives from the "old" relationship--that's just another excuse to not pursue what you know was, and is, right in your heart...or, you wouldn't still think about the person you lost.

A reunion isn't about repeating old patterns; it's about creating new ones. A renewed relationship cannot be exactly the same as the old, because, the old obviously didn't work, even if the love did. Reunion isn't magic; it takes time. Effort. Energy. You rebuild, day by day. Until, one day, all of the things you lost are found again. But this time, it's even better. It's even better because, this time, no one is going to disappear.

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to love. But I will always cheer for it. The real deal. Even if Adele songs are constant reminders of why I still cry, and always will. The miracle of real love is worth the price of admission.

Hey, I don't have all the answers. I can only tell you that when an angel asked me to let him in, I said yes. 

Saboteurs abound outside of the self. Those individuals are #MasterTeachers, believe it or not. People that got between you and real love were teaching you lessons about yourself. The obstacles those individuals put in your path were not meant to deter you from it, even if that was their intention. Those obstacles were actually meant for you to gain confidence. To see your own strength. Know your own courage. But, sometimes, those lessons backfire. Instead of courage, we resort to cruelty. Instead of strength, we show stupidity. Confidence melts away and transforms into codependence. That's why we wake up to new chances with each new day. New chances to make right all the wrongs in our lives. It's those new chances that put this lyric from Adele's "Water Under the Bridge" into perspective:

"Oh honey, if I'm not the one for you...why have we been through what we've been through?"

Adele's song ends in a series of pleas to her lover, asking for reassurance that their love isn't somehow gone. But real love is never gone, regardless of whether or not either of you ever set aside your ego and pride long enough to admit it. That's just the truth. It's sad for those left behind by love; we're never the same again. No matter how brave a face you see in social media selfies.

It takes courage and strength to admit you love without condition. To admit you love at all. There's never a better time to admit to real love than the present either. Again, waiting for some perfect fated-moment is just another way to justify inaction. An excuse to keep yourself unhappy. No more excuses!!! Your mantra going forward, when it comes to love, or anything that makes you feel paralyzed, is #NoMoreFear!

Fear is the worst saboteur of all. Don't let Fear win. Don't let any saboteur win. Let love win instead. Laugh, feel joy, dance under the stars, hold hands in public, go to the movies, live in a house, and make babies...or at least, practice. A lot. You're never going to be younger than you are right now...so, why wait??? The only reason you're hesitating from going after your miracle again is because of self sabotage. And, we already agreed that we were not going to use excuses anymore:  #NoMoreFear, remember???

Now, go get 'em, Tiger....

#Saboteur