April 1st is tomorrow. The first three months of the new year ends today...how are you doing in your battle to defeat self-sabotage???

When we talk about self-sabotage, we're not just talking about avoidant behavior or a lack of motivation--though, that is certainly part of it. We're talking about deeply-rooted patterns that typically derive from childhood. We can only defeat negative patterns one day at a time. Every day, we must be mindful of the pull on our psyche to be drawn backwards. It is helpful then, to identify the primary source of our disconnects. That takes time and perspective--which is why I strongly recommend working with an experienced psychologist (someone with a PhD in Psychology) trained in talk therapy. Having an objective third-party listen and give feedback is part of how we gain perspective. While talking to family and friends is helpful, it's far from objective. You'll receive more sycophantic responses than not, along with conditioned rhetoric that fits within the overarching familial discourse--or, the established family-narrative. And, while there's nothing wrong with hearing what you want to hear once in a while, understanding the truth is the only way for you to move forward.

When a pattern of self-sabotage is discerned as an adult, it is because we have our own disconnects. Our disconnects are our responsibility--no one else can really know how you feel or what you think, except you. Therefore, you are the only one with the power to make effective change in both your heart and your head. Perhaps your self-sabotage streak comes from a single traumatic event from your past, or an accumulation of traumas. Perhaps it was abuse from a parent or family member, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, interactions with a teacher or peer triggers a sense of self-loathing. Maybe it was a childhood event where we ourselves perceive we did something wrong and it was never addressed properly. Everything in childhood is magnified because we are new, so every new thing we learn during that time is profound. Though abuse is often part of the self-sabotage equation, it's not always the reason we find ourselves unable to escape what is an entirely self-destructive pattern of thinking and behavior. Our genes may also have something to do with it.

#MentalHealthMatters is trending on social media today. And, it really does. Matter, that is. Our psyche drives everything--from our choice of friends and lovers, to the careers we choose (or don't choose, as the case may be), to our ability to maintain relationships, including our sense of confidence and self-worth. In other words, every success or failure we have is because of what's happening in our heads. When we devalue or deprioritize our mental health, we are devaluing and deprioritizing ourselves. That's part of self-sabotage and is a big red flag for an individual to get professional help. Medication is one of the first things you'll be offered in a doctor's office, but I'd encourage you to try talk therapy first  to learn what the actual problem may be. Understanding your context will help you deal with the problem--a problem that will be with you for your lifetime. Medication can help you regain balance in your brain chemistry, but don't fall into the trap that taking a pill will solve everything. It never does. Only YOU can solve your problems. But, in order to do that, you first have to know what the problem is and where it comes from.

Our parents aren't us and we are not them. Yes, we are influenced by one or both parents. But it is not always a parent's influence that drives us to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, it's thanks to a genetic predisposition to certain forms of mental illness. Your parents may not be effected at all, but you are. No matter how good your childhood was or how supportive your parents may be, you still feel miserable about your life and still can't seem to break through certain barriers--like obtaining an education in order to work smarter not harder. Or, always feeling like whatever love-relationship you have isn't good enough--because you don't feel good enough. You find yourself angry and resentful of people who have done nothing to you except be there for you, love you, and encourage you to be your best self. No one is perfect, of course. Spouses and partner are only human. Parents are only human. Each of us was once a child of other parents, who were also once children themselves. We are each of us is made up of the influences from generations of people. Your parents are just the most immediate influence on you, but not always the most profound. Something to remember in your continued efforts to avoid self-sabotage. Even if your parents were vacant and ineffective people who did not love or want you, abandoning you perhaps emotionally and physically--you still exist. And it is you who must take responsibility for your own life. That means remembering you are in charge. No one else. So, when you find yourself sabotaging things like professional and personal opportunities that would make your life better, the "problem," no matter where it started, is with you. 

Part of the insidious nature of self-sabotage is that we tend to unwittingly make life-decisions, like who we marry, that insure the continuation of failure, of drama and of trauma. Yes, social disadvantages really exist that sabotage you, too, but I'm talking about your personal behaviors and decisions--the things that hurt or minimize your chances at increasing or improving your health and wealth. When someone befriends you, and you take that friendship for granted by disappearing from conversations or making promises you don't keep until your friend prompts you to act, you are 100% self-sabotaging. That means, you don't want to be around a person who cares for you. You don't want to build trust. You don't want to be supportive...because then, you might get supported yourself. Someone might care for you, even love you, and somewhere inside, you don't want that. YOU. No one else is in your head with you. Your thoughts (and therefore, your feelings) may have been influenced by others at one point in your life--and it's necessary to be mindful of that--but it is you and only you who can stop negative patterns, negative thinking, negative behavior, and negative action. By that same token, while you push away people who can help you succeed in life, you may equally embrace those who will help you fail. 

You do not want to wake up in your 40's or 50's, and suddenly realize you have been betraying yourself for decades. It's not a fun place to be. And, really, really, really hard to get out of. But if that is where you are, please don't despair. I write about mental health because I want good people to have good lives. No matter how old (or young) you are, you can effect permanent change. Unless you're chained up in a basement or locked in a cage, you don't have to be anywhere you don't want to be. No, it's not easy to leave what is comfortable and familiar--I'm not suggesting that at all. What I am suggesting is that you recognize that, regardless of how difficult change may be, it is completely possible. And, probable, too, IF you choose to be mindful. Present. Which also means, choosing to be self-aware.

I make TONS of mistakes. Boat-loads. But I never give up on myself because I want a better life. And I KNOW that it is only me who can not only provide it, but create it. If the job market isn't being friendly to you, as it has not always been friendly to me, then you must seek out and create multiple opportunities for multiple income streams yourself. No one wants to hire you? Fine. You hire you. Be your own boss. All the efforts you would have given away for a fraction of their worth so someone else can get rich are now all yours. 

Do you feel "fat" or "unattractive"? Start walking! Every damn day. It's free. If you really want to kick it up a notch, join a gym and begin doing weight-bearing exercise--the monthly cost is now less than what it costs to buy two meals at Panera, or five fancy coffees at Starbucks. And, some health insurance companies even provide incentives. You can get back at least part of the cost of a gym membership if you are willing to obtain, fill out and return the proper paperwork within the proper deadlines. The other benefit to working out or being active for an hour or more 5-7 days a week? You not only look better and feel better, you THINK better, too. Your confidence skyrockets. And so does your energy. Like everything else in life, you have to commit to being consistent to see your efforts (and your time and dollars) pay off. 

Eating healthy has it's benefits, too. Find local farmers or farm markets that offer cheaper produce, dairy and whole grains. Give up meat completely. It's really not healthy for you, the environment, or, your wallet. If you don't want to go cold-turkey (pun intended), take yourself out to get a burger or chicken wings or steak once a week. Eighty-percent of our health and well-being comes from our food. Eating too many carbs can make us tired. Eating too much sugar speeds up the aging process in our cells, not to mention creating unnecessary fat deposits. Movement is a BIG part of our overall health, but your movements have less meaning if they're not fueled properly. 

When you choose not to eat well or move well, you are choosing to sabotage yourself. It's another red flag, prompting you to learn the reason(s) behind your avoidant behavior. When you take the time to nurture your mental health, you can address any issues that are holding you back in order to move forward toward better health and wealth.There can (and will) be blips--periods where you stop caring. That's par for the course for most adults who have to balance work and family. What isn't okay is when you let long blocks of time pass that result in a decrease in your health and wealth. It happens. As I know all-too well. But when it does, it's very likely you are suffering from a period of mental illness that, if not properly addressed, will only get worse. And, I don't want that for you. I want to see every single one of my two-plus million readers from 133 countries and counting (so incredibly grateful to each and every one of you!) to be healthy and successful. No matter what you believe in, I believe in you! But, you must believe in you, too. You must take responsibility for getting healthier, for stopping avoidant behavior in its tracks, and putting an end to self-sabotage. Not just today or tomorrow, FOREVER.

There are nine months left in the new year. In the Northern Hemisphere, there are 60 days before summer starts to unfold pretty much everywhere--which means, less clothing and more time outside with other people. If you do not do everything in your power so you feel good when you start removing clothing, you are sabotaging yourself. Find out why and start using the strategies I've outlined in the last three months to fix it. No matter who's "fault" it is that you are not where you want to be, it is still you who is responsible for making change. Creating closure. Finding resolutions. Moving your body. Eating well. Looking for opportunities. Creating opportunities. And, staying positive in your thoughts. Because, your thoughts influence your feelings, which in turn influence your behavior...your actions. Your actions in the next 60 days--whatever they are--are what will lead to your future success or failure. Yours, no one else's.

A friend or relative finds reasons to say and do hurtful things? Know that the individual is self-sabotaging. Know that the individual is avoidant. And, instead of reacting, distance yourself from their toxicity. Anyone who chooses to see problems instead of solutions is a destroyer. If that weren't true, people would be prioritized over any "problem."  If you can successfully separate yourself from the destroyers in your world (or those who want to be in your world), you are on the road to beating self-sabotage! Hurray!!! I'm psyched for you. My biggest accomplishments in the last three years all involve identifying toxic people and, whenever possible, distancing myself from them. It's huge. And I'm really proud of (finally!) learning how to say "no" and mean it. Life isn't perfect and I still struggle with self-sabotage each and every day. But no matter how sad I am, or how stuck I feel, I know that if I keep going, keep thinking positive, momentum is inevitable. At the very least, my body will be healthier. As will my mind. And, it usually follows that a healthy body and mind live a healthy life. Success will happen. It's the same for you, too.

Daily #Success Affirmations for the Next 60 Days:

1) Excuses and justifications remove my power to make positive change.

2) When I have an idea, I will act on it immediately. 

3) Improving my health and wealth means improving my credit; I will actively address any outstanding issues.

4) Success is cumulative...I will commit to my success by not giving up on myself or my goals. 

5) I will be patient with myself and forgive relapses without excusing them or letting them stall my momentum.

6) I will be kind to myself and not speak, write, or listen to negatives that hurt my confidence and self-image.

7) Unconditional love is only something I will receive when I give it to myself.

8) Happiness is a choice; I will consciously make it every day.

9) Even if the rest of the world says otherwise, I have faith that I will overcome every obstacle before me. 

10) Every new day is a new chance to improve my life.

11) Being mindful is my best defense against self-sabotage.

12) I will remember #EMMA: "Everything (in) My Mind Awaits." Because, it does. And that means I will succeed!

Screen-shot these affirmations and say each one every single day. If you do that for the next 60 days, you will be well on your way to not only feeling healthier, but being healthier all around. Through these blog posts, we are not only unlearning the language and psychology of self-sabotage, we are learning the language and psychology of success. 

You CAN do this. You WILL be successful. #EMMA is your trigger-word. When faced with any negative in the next 60 days, recall #EMMA and you will trigger the twelve affirmations above. As we move toward completing the first half of the year, we are moving toward being awake, alive, and effective people. We are moving toward SUCCESS on EVERY LEVEL.

I'm PROUD of you for choosing to stay in the world. You are making it better just by existing. You are not alone. I am here. And I will not stop reminding you of your potential. I will not stop encouraging you to live a better life. I will not stop sending light to every corner of the globe. I will not stop praying and meditating on peace and joy for others, as well as myself. We are all in this together. Connected. No matter what. 

You are LOVED beyond measure...so am I.

#FAITH

Red tails, peregrines, merlins, golden eagles...all have flown within inches of me in the wild. I've always felt a kinship with birds in general, but hawks, gliding high above on the thermals overhead, have a special place in my heart. As if we were inextricably attached at the soul. Though I've had plenty of close encounters, never have I had a hawk fly into my house before. Yesterday, at exactly 5:13 in the evening, an unexpected visitor literally swooped in. I had just posted #Voyager...thinking of new opportunities on my horizon. As I stood up, there she was. Right next to me. It was an awesome experience. One I'll not soon forget.

After helping my feathered friend back outside, watching her effortlessly fly to a nearby tree in my backyard, I ran upstairs to get ready for my standing date with a friend. A tall, dark and handsome friend at that! Thanks to daylight savings, we'll be taking those sunset walks again in the next month or so. When we're together, we often see things like red tails and deer. In fact, on our very first walk, a doe and a young stag crossed our path. Right after that, we saw a car that had "1616" on the license plate. My friend turned to me and said, "What do those numbers mean?"

My response?

"It means there are two people who will awaken through love...and in the end, it will add up to a miracle."

We looked at each other and smiled. Our walks got a little longer after that. 

When I see a red tail--like the beautiful girl who visited me yesterday--it's a reminder to listen to my instincts. Whatever I'm thinking of in that moment, it's something I need to pay more attention to. Love is oft on my mind...and, of course, in my books. I create the realities I'd like to see in the world with my pen. And I'm filling that world with joy, with bliss, with happiness, and lots and lots of love. Good people find one another instead of what really happens--a good person finds a user, an abuser, a destroyer. It's more and more common in our globalized society, where, as I famously first said on this very blog years ago, "Technology makes it easy to be an asshole." 

All too often, we glide on the thermals of life, never really getting involved in the fray below. Things like social media make that distance even easier, but after nearly a year of standing dates and sunset walks, I'm wondering if technology is just the newest excuse for us to not get involved with real people in real time. It's easy to artificially meet, greet, and then, like my feathered friend, quietly retreat to a hidden branch where we can perch and observe, keeping a safe distance. By the way, that's called cyberstalking and it's creepy as fuck. Is that what we really want? To become a generation of jeepers-creepers, stalkers and peepers??? 

Thanks, but no thanks. For the record, no one gets a second chance at hurting smart people, confident people, attractive people, and/or successful people again. If you're insecure, petty, vindictive, narcissistic, and/or controlling, you won't be able to maintain any healthy relationships, let alone rekindle a relationship you previously sabotaged. Self-sabotage is what happens when fear and insecurity drown out reason. Hawks don't have time for insecurities. Survival is what matters most. It's interesting to note then, that part of a hawk's survival instincts include being monogamous, mating for life and sharing responsibility for their eggs and young. Seems humans, with our "big" brains, opposable thumbs and technological "advancements," can't seem to figure out what is basic instinct to creatures with far less cortical neurons in their brain structures, no fingers at all and no access to technology of any kind.

Real commitment isn't a diamond ring--it's being a real friend in the real world, and being there without fail. It means valuing a person more than you value fleeting, opportunistic pleasure. Respecting the person you supposedly care about. And, respecting yourself. Commitment means recognizing another's needs without sacrificing your own, or requiring that others make sacrifices for you. That kind of friendship doesn't happen in a day, a week, a month, or even six months. You have to take the time to make the time in order to really get to know another human being. You have to consistently care. Hold yourself accountable. I think that's the missing piece today when it comes to relationships of all shapes and sizes. That, and communication.

Talking to each other is important. But spending time together in the real world is even more so. Work out together at the gym. Go on hikes in the sunshine. Take sunset strolls, maybe even end up at the local ice cream shop. Watch people. Talk about the stars. Look up at the moon. Ask about family, friends, dreams, goals, and...do you wanna Netflix and chill on Friday night? "Santa Clarita Diet" drops this weekend...yum!

Watching my hawk yesterday was like looking in the mirror. She unwittingly flew into a social situation where she could have been trapped, maybe gotten hurt, or even died. The same thing happened to me four years ago. Having courage is like that. Dangerous. Luckily for my red tail, she didn't fly into just any house--she found me. Within minutes, she was safely out and doing what she loves again. She and I have known each other for a very long time now. She trusts me--at least as much as any wild hawk can trust a human.  I trust her, too. It's a big part of our relationship.  Seems to me it should be that way with people, too.

My hawk and I don't use technology to communicate or show each other respect, care and commitment. We have to physically be present with one another. She's flown down to me before--but always outside. A low tree branch. This was the first time she perched next to me in my house. That was only possible because of our relationship--the one we built together over time. Not through phone calls, texts, video chatting, and social media interactions. We have spent real time with one another in the real world. We've shown each other consistent care and respect. That's why miracles can happen. Miracles like a hawk flying into my house to sit next to me. Check  in, as it were.

Commitment is cumulative. So is intimacy.

I used to write about second chances in love (and friendship), but in reality, we only ever get one. If I ever did anything to break the hawk's trust, she'd find a new territory. I'd no longer be blessed by her presence, her beauty, or, her friendship. And, I've lived long enough to understand that my relationship with this particular red tail is nothing short of miraculous. But I'm willing to work for my miracles. Recognizing a good thing when you see it isn't enough to make someone worthy of a miracle--you also have to be willing to put in the effort in order to maintain it. That's how I measure my worth. My value. Which in turn, informs my purpose, Being able to maintain relationships is the key to feeling connected, or if you prefer, having hope. And, faith. In yourself and others. Whether friend or fowl.... 

It's funny but, in the last few months, my thoughts have only been centered on the future. Quite a liberating sensation, as if I gave myself wings to rise above the distractions that kept me from moving my life forward. Kept me from healing, too. My wish for each and every good soul on our planet is for you to be free to fly, free to love, free to feel, and free to engage with those who consistently treat you with respect and care. Not online. Not through a screen or speaker. But in real time and in the real world.

True intimacy and connection come from real commitment--it is the only way for any of us to spread our wings and not only fly, but soar toward the bright blue skies of success in both love and life.

​#HawkEye 

Defiant grace shines in my eyes and in the bounce of my hair. The lines of my body curve, but I do not bend. Nor break. The silent smile on my pale pink lips holds no secrets, for my eyes tell you all you need to know. As do the scars on my body. A body that expresses joy like no other. With a bliss-driven brain to match.

It was a Taurus moon that shone brightly on me three years ago as I stood under the stars and prayed. The year before, I stood in the field where I have since met angels and stags and wolves and felt the Sun's warmth on my face. A warmth that told me to listen. And listen intently to the Universe as it revealed what was to come. Today, it is sunny once again. I feel the dull Mercurial pull on the back of my skull. A kind of vague pounding. Like an echo. Another Taurean moon pushes me forward through the doldrums of early spring toward greener pastures across the blue ocean. An ocean that separates me from kind eyes that hold my attention. And, a piece of my heart. 

Water falls on my wet skin but I no longer bathe in tears...I bathe in years. Immortality is like that. You swim through an ocean of lived experience. Of people. Of places. Of parts unknown. Of hearts unknown, too. A moment for me is a lifetime for  you. But even with Time (and Death) on my side, I am still afraid. Of so many, many things. Including love.

A ferocious heart knows no bounds. It is unlimited in a world full of limits. And that is frightening indeed....

Are you? Frightened??? Because, you should be. Not of me. My wings are white and silver and brown. I am here to protect. Teach. Unconditional love is a six-pointed star that doubles as a weapon against hatred. Against lies. Against judgment. Cruelty. Evil. Not the kind you see on a screen. True evil. The same evil that lurks in every human heart. 

If we on Earth have the capacity for great good, we also have an equal capacity for evil. This world is a place of opposites. Balance is a tricky thing. Your vestibulo ocular reflex keeps you upright, but what happens when it doesn't? Mind over matter only matters in the mind. There is no compensation for a damaged motor cortex. You just have to keep walking.

I have to keep walking....

Our collective pace is set by our collective consciousness. That is the very definition of psychology. Sociology. From there, philosophy, theology and literature derive. As does language. And, history. But, the past does not define us. That which is immutable cannot be changed. Or, charged. There's a statute of limitations--something for the physicists to argue over and around, stacking dimensions like Oreos, one on top of the other. Personally, I like to throw mine into a blender with some milk, ice cream and a dash of Ovaltine. 

You are not a prisoner. Neither am I. Though the gravity of Earth can sometimes make it feel like a life-sentence. That is why you must choose your words as carefully as you choose your friends. Actions speak louder than any word you may utter, yet your words will be etched in the neural pathways of those who hear them. Read them. Write them. Speak them. Beyond this lifetime. Beyond memory. And beyond whatever comes next.

People can be forgotten. But their words??? Well, words are forever. As immortal as love. The real kind. The kind that walks with you, talks with you and makes you dance when no one is watching. 

​Yeah, it's worth the trip....

#Voyager

Antelope Canyon. That's where this picture was taken. Antelope Canyon's in Arizona on Navajo land. The Navajo name for Lower Antelope Canyon is Hazdistazi, which means "spiral rock arches." You can see why this part of the canyon has been dubbed "The Corkscrew." It's visually stunning. Breath-taking. As in, you have to literally catch your breath when you lay eyes on something that can only be described as miraculous. 

Navajo sandstone can only look like it does after hundreds of years of erosion--in this case, that erosion comes from flooding. The red color derives from iron in silicate minerals; silicate minerals make up over 90% of Earth's crust. Depending on how porous or permeable a rock is, varying mixtures of hematite, goethite and limonite can form within the quartz grains. That's where the different colors in Navajo sandstone come from. 

Hematite is one of the oldest known minerals and shares the same crystal structure as corundum--for all you July and September babies, corundum is your birthstone! Red corundum is a ruby and blue corundum is considered a sapphire. Sapphire is now mined in all the colors of the rainbow, but only a certain red is reserved for the status of ruby--considered one of the rarest and most precious gemstones. Hematite is often found in dark colors, like gray or black, but when it forms next to goethite, it can be more red in color.

Goethite is named after German writer, philosopher and Renaissance man, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832). Goethite was first described in 1806 after samples were found in Herdorf, Germany in the Hollertszug Mine, but there is evidence of goethite being used as a pigment on the Lascaux Caves in Southern France. The fossil record from the caves indicate the Late Stone Age or Upper Paleolithic era--basically anywhere from 10,000 to 50,000 years ago. By the way, humans, as we are today, are believed to have emerged only 200,000 years ago--so let's not get too cavalier about time, shall we? Miracles don't happen overnight. That is perhaps why I have loved rocks or geology my whole life, even collecting baskets of them as a child. Every stone I picked up and studied was a piece of living history. Rocks are Earth's storytellers, holding the secrets of our past, our present and our future.

All of Earth's minerals derive from space. As in, outer-space. Every time you see a tree, an animal, a rock...the elements that make up those integral pieces of nature all come from beyond our galaxy. That includes humans, too. Similar to Navajo sandstone, based on the conditions of where a life-form is created, that life-form has variations that differ from similar trees or plants or animals or rocks that evolved in say, a more tropical climate versus a colder climate. Goethite is more common to tropical climes, so what we see as a desert today in Arizona, was once wet, lush tropical lands with lots and lots of water. Goethite is essentially rust, but both hematite and limonite are the two principal iron ores on planet Earth. When we consider human evolution, iron ore played a major role in the way societies formed. Without it, the technology we use today (and often take for granted, like miracles...) simply wouldn't exist. Mining for iron ore started about 3,000 years before Christ's birth, or more than 5,000 years ago. 

Limonite actually forms from the hydration of hematite--or when hematite gets wet. Limonite ranges in color from brown to yellow and was sometimes called the "lemon rock" as a result. Like goethite, limonite only forms in hot, wet tropical areas--the soil that formed there is called lateritic soil. Laterite is rich in iron and aluminum and is often a rust or red color because of high iron oxide content. 

Can you believe ALL of that history is contained inside the sandstone that makes up Antelope Canyon?

When you look at something like "The Corkscrew," everyone can see its beauty--but it takes a certain level of gratitude to see a rock as a miracle. Goethe's poetry and philosophy influenced the Transcendentalists of New England--people like Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson...even Nathaniel Hawthorne and Herman Melville were on the fringes, as well as Louisa May Alcott. Transcendentalism was a metaphor of the processes of nature, but applied to human existence. Remarkable to consider such history when looking at Navajo sandstone, don't you think? By the way, goethite was not named after Goethe because of his philosophy; it was named after him because he was responsible for opening multiple mines in Germany as a member of the Duke's privy council. 

Goethe is one of the most widely quoted literary minds in the history of humanity. Like Emerson before me, I consider Goethe to be one of a handful of influential writers in the last 15,000 years. His connection to the miracle before me--and you--is no coincidence. Neither is his connection to New England. 

Much of my early scholarship focused on the Transcendalists; I was born in New England so was influenced by those very people and the places where they lived, like Walden Pond. As a result, Goethe was a big part of my research. I even used one of his quotes in my grandmother's eulogy eight years ago--that is how much Goethe has influenced me (and, how long he has been renting space in my brain).

As I considered the evolutionary process that went into the Navajo sandstone itself, but also, the formation of what is now known as Lower Antelope Canyon, all of this interconnected history--of the world, of literature, of humanity, philosophy, physics, geology--ran through my mind. In multiple languages, to boot. Not only that, Beethoven and Mozart were playing a veritable symphony in my head--both of whom were inspired by Goethe, and who in turn, inspire me the way that Thoreau, Emerson, Hawthorne and Melville did when I first stuck my toe in academic waters. My life was somehow integrated in the Navajo sandstone, in the sedimentary colors, the evolution of it's curves...tears stream down my cheeks just thinking of it--the miracle that is now 1,775 miles away from where I am is still somehow connected to me and my living history in ways not even I understood until this very moment. 

Humans are always praying for miracles as if miracles are instantaneous. Miracles take millennia to form. We see a miracle like Antelope Canyon in a single moment, as if it took but a moment to happen. As if it was there just so we could see it, take pictures, and move on with our lives. But in reality, when we pray for miracles, we are praying for change. Evolutionary change. Change that requires physical effort. And, physical effort requires time.

Change may feel sudden, like driving to Antelope Canyon and seeing it start to emerge on the wavy horizon as if by magic. But that's not the truth. The truth? Change only occurs over the course of years in conjunction with cumulative physical efforts. You cannot reunite with the love of your life if you never see or speak to that person, no matter how much time passes or what you do in the interim space between then and now. You cannot change your career by thinking positive thoughts either--you have to research the educational tools needed in the profession you seek, and go through the years (if necessary) of training until you have actually acquired the expertise you need.

Luck (or fate, if you will) had nothing to do with how Lower Antelope Canyon was formed. It was time. And lots and lots of physical effort. We could not have that kind of miraculous beauty any other way. It is the same for our own lives. Our own bodies. If you want to be more fit, move more and eat less. Do that for a year and you'll see change. Do it for a month or two, and you won't. Same with the pursuit of any ambition or goal. You must be as single-minded as Nature itself. As undeterred as the Sun shining in the sky.

If you put in the time and effort, beauty will always be the result. The power of creating a miracle is in your hands. Right now. You just have to want it. And, never give up. Visualize your miracle and take the time you need to put in the deliberate effort in order to manifest that miracle in your world. That takes commitment. You can't just walk away or change your mind or make excuses when pursuit of your miracle gets a little difficult. Or, a lot difficult. I mean, you can give up, but if you do, you'll never experience a miracle. And, that seems such a shame. 

You have the power to recognize and create literal miracles...why not use it???

​#Miracle

Post-script: I hope this essay can take you to the other side of whatever obstacles stand between you and your miracle; I chose the video below because my friend Jason, singing and performing his own song, broke his neck on January 4, 2012. But Jason did not give up. He did not make excuses. He did not lay on his back and cry. He worked hard every single day for two years until he could not only walk again, but dance. Sing. And perform live in front of his fans. Most people with Jason's injury never move the same way again and often die. I was told I'd never walk again, too. I was also told I had two years to live in 2001. Picking up what I'm putting down? Let no one discourage you from your miracle. You CAN do this. You just have to put in the time and effort. Stop making excuses and start moving toward your miracle TODAY!!!!

*photo courtesy of Housel-alum and talented artist, Alex Salsberg, who is also a fellow New Englander! To check out Alex's art, go to PokeGravy.com   

Girl can cook! Yes, all those delightful edibles in the picture gallery below are mine. My recipes. My cooking. And, my photography. It's a feast for the eyes AND the stomach, too. A delicious one, at that! Whenever I make a big ol' bunch of food, I always make enough for friends and neighbors, putting together little care packages. Especially one particular 83-year old lady who will sometimes accompany me to the movies, or a live band concert, or join me for a meal. Having a person to share a meal with is a gift in and of itself, but knowing you have enough food for an actual meal is equally miraculous. Sadly, humans take food for granted in the same way so many of us ignore other "small" miracles--like breathing, for example. 

No matter what we like or dislike about food, the one thing we can ALL agree on is that every single one of us needs to eat. Thanks to farmers like my friend Roy in Washington State, we can do just that. Yet, hunger is still a major problem around the world. And while there are lots of places in the States for people to go get food, like food pantries and soup kitchens, as well as government subsidy programs, like Food Stamps--there's still a large part of our population who are unable to take advantage of such opportunities. Both our youngest populations and our wisest populations face obstacles when it comes to getting food, often going hungry. It's unfathomable to me that there are hungry children in this world, let alone hungry grandparents. I lived with my grandmother--and gained 15lbs when I did--because all she thought about was whether or not I was eating well. When my nephews come over, my kitchen table is literally covered from one end to the other with food. "Boys need to eat to grow," is my common refrain. Given that my son is now a lean, mean 6'5", I think I might have been on to something there.

As a society, we have a lot of disconnects when it comes to food. Movies like The Devil Wears Prada call a woman's size-six "fat" (by the way, a woman who wears a size-six has a 26-inch waist-diameter; the national average is a size-14, or a 33-inch waist). On the opposite end of the spectrum, television shows like, "My 600-lb Life," use people who are morbidly-obese to entertain the masses. Doesn't that seem *a tad* exploitative??? Some of the richest American corporations got rich by using food scientists to create recipes that had just the right amounts of sugar and salt to turn off the hormone that tells us we've had enough in order for us to keep eating--buying more of their products in the process. One day, those same corporations will be scrutinized like Big Tobacco for using exploitative marketing on vulnerable populations--making people sick and shortening lifespans just to turn a profit. Talk about "fat"....

When the LA Times interviewed me on the future of food, I spoke about how protein farms (and not the kind with cows) were a likely future source of cheap, environmentally-friendly protein for humanity. If that seems "gross" to you, imagine what an alien visiting our planet might think of a person eating a lobster--boiling it alive, tearing off its shell, and eating its poop derived from all the other fish poop that a bottom-feeder like a lobster eats. Yeah, it's not a pretty picture. But we don't think of it like that as a society because we've been conditioned to accept the practice of eating lobster. Perhaps in 25-50 years, chefs will find a way to make grubs and crickets look and taste appetizing, too? Meanwhile, in 2018, we still have people going hungry.

Those protein farms can't get here fast enough....

In Atlanta, there are thousands of homeless children. Places like the Children's Restoration Network help, but we still have a lot of tiny tummies that go empty day after day. Sitting here right now, talking about food, I realized that I haven't eaten yet myself. If I weren't so distracted by my writing, I might've noticed the weakness in my left arm, the low grade headache radiating across my forehead, and that vague floaty-feeling of light-headedness. It's true, the last time I ate was a good ten hours ago, but there are people who haven't eaten in 24 or more hours. If I feel like this after only ten, how must someone who gets to eat once a day or less feel??? How can a child develop properly? How can anyone think properly? Move properly? And, how can we have some of the most advanced technologies in the world, yet still have human beings who go hungry day after day???

I was recently contacted by the National Council on Aging in Washington DC. I'd written an essay called "Breaking Bread" some years ago and the people in our nation's capital asked me to include their link. The website talks about the senior members of our society and their struggle to not go hungry. Surprise was my first reaction to the idea that any sweet grandmother or grandfather had no one to help feed them. Programs like Meals on Wheels can help seniors get at least one square meal a day--IF those seniors have people who can help them sign up for the program. Yes, help. It's not as easy as going on the internet and signing up if you have no internet, no computer and possibly, no phone. We have to remember that our most experienced members of our society (and so, our most valuable) are not always able to get up, walk, cook, shop, bake, let alone afford to. 

In our rush to live our lives, fall in and out of love, deal with our childhoods, look for new jobs, pay our mortgages, and take care of our own families and friends, we may forget about the most vulnerable yet most valuable members of our population. Children are our future. Kids need stable homes, educations, clothing, shelter, and food to grow into adults who can provide those same things for not only the next generation, but the one that came before. And, though some may be tempted to think of our senior members as "the past," in fact, we are learning more everyday about how health and longevity are positively effected by both food and movement. You can't move if you don't eat. If you eat well, you move well. If you move well, the only way anyone will know you're "old" is if you tell them your birth date.

Fueling our bodies fuels our minds. I recently spoke to a beautiful lady who was 98-years young. She stood tall and straight and walked with confidence. Meanwhile, I'm more than 50 years her junior and I hunch my shoulders, have terrible balance and walk with a limp. When I asked her what her secret was, she told me she ate lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains, and walked everywhere she could. I eat lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains, too, but as a writer, I sit WAY too long and WAY too often. I'm a gym-person, lifting weights since I was 17, and love hiking and biking as well. But my lack of movement (and perhaps love of Southern cooking) is hard on my body. Sedentary lifestyles shorten not only our telomeres, but our lifespans, too.  When I walk more, I stand taller. My balance improves. Most don't notice my limp but I "feel" it so it bothers me. But when it's nice weather and I can go hiking every day, I barely think about it. Know why? It's not there anymore. Simply moving more is the great healer, but we can't move well if we don't also eat well. 

Everything is connected in this wide-world of ours. We often compartmentalize because it makes our hectic life a little easier. Less daunting. But amidst our 21st century angst, we really need to take the time to EAT well while helping others do the same. I'm including some websites below for more information. I also recommend you go through your pantry at least once a month and donate the food items that you know won't get used...the ones that you'll find a year later pushed behind everything else. Instead of eventually throwing away that food, why not put a box of it together and take it to your local food pantry? If you don't have a local food pantry, start one! Make sure you check in with local senior centers, nursing homes and homeless shelters while you're at it. See if you can deliver food to people in need. If we each take responsibility for our own little corners of the world, we'll be well on our way to making our planet not only a better place, but better-fed, too. 

We can do this!

YOU can do this.... 

#FoodPorn


Facts about hunger and aging:
​www.ncoa.org/news/resources-for-reporters/get-the-facts/senior-hunger-facts/

How to find your local food bank: 
www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank/

Find out more about Children's Restoration Network:
​www.childrn.org/