In the last year, I've turned the tables on a few of my favorite podcasters and radio hosts, putting them in the hot seat. One of those folks is Jim Malliard of The Malliard Report. Jim is a good man. And, he produces and hosts a good, solid show. "Live internet radio" as he describes it. He got started nearly a decade ago. And it's been pure magic ever since....

Jim is a family man and The Malliard Report is definitely a family affair. The idea to begin a radio show started when Jim's youngest had some health issues. Jim needed to be around for doctor's appointments; his grandmother was also ill. So Jim and his family moved closer. 

The Malliard Report started with a paranormal focus. Why? The simple answer is, Jim saw a niche that needed to be filled and filled it. Jim is just one those guys who's hardworking and diligent--no excuses, no whining--he does what he says he'll do and that's it. That's why Jim enjoys such a loyal core audience. Today, The Malliard Report covers a variety of pop culture and political topics, including the paranormal. The broader scope has boosted Jim's ratings, as well as the quality of his guests.

Jim takes great pride in interviewing people like George Noory and Roger Stone, as well as his latest "famous" guest, former pro-wrestler and governor, Jessie Ventura. And yes, full-disclosure, I've been a guest on Jim's show once or twice a year since 2014. I know Jim Malliard as a humble man, who, by his own admission, never imagined interviewing half the people he has in the last five years. Jim's dream-interview is to get a current President of the United States on The Malliard Report. Knowing Jim, I think it's something his fans can likely expect happening in the next several years (especially as 2020 is an election year in the States). 

I had the pleasure of facilitating a meet-and-greet between Jim and his family with my pal, British gamer and YouTuber, Dan TDM (Dan Middleton), who boasts 22.3 million subscribers and over 16 million views. Jim's children are special kids--both of whom have dealt with more than their fair share of medical issues--so it was a real pleasure to put them up in Philly for a night before picking them up in a big ol' Cadillac Escalade limo. We met up with Dan and his entourage before a crowd of thousands took up Dan's time at the prettiest little children's book shop I've ever seen. Dan's a peach and took pics with the kids (who were the very first people to meet Dan during his North American tour), giving them each autographed copies of his latest children's book. It was quite a day, one I'll never forget as Jim's youngest asked me, wide-eyed, "Are you my fairy godmother?"

It was one of the best moments of my life, thanks to Jim and his family. So when you listen to Jim's show on Tuesday nights at 9pm Eastern, remember that behind the professionalism and the easy sense of humor, is a loyal husband and loving father who I'm proud to call a true-blue friend.

In the future, look for more from Jim, including the Spark Radio Network, and listen in to his show through adfreetalkradio.com. Follow Jim and The Malliard Report on social media, too, where you can find more wit and wisdom like the picture below (courtesy of Jim's Instagram: @JimMalliard).

To hear Jim's 2019  interview with me live on the air, please click the link below:

www.malliard.com/rebecca-housel-4/

The Malliard Report is the fastest hour in radio...and not something to be missed!

A million little details happen on the day you meet the person who will one day become your person. Those same details, or variations thereof, happen every other day of the year and yet, on the day you meet the person who is to become your person, you somehow remember them all. Every sigh. Every glance. Every smile. And...every mistake.

Love is like that--quick-witted, a sudden and completely unexpected burst of inspiration. Even before you know you're in love, you're in love. When you look backwards, it's obvious. But when you're in the actual moment, you're lost. Lost in the sights and sounds, the smiles and sighs--all the minutiae, the fine detail that you will remember for a lifetime. Remember because, of course, you're in love. Even if you weren't yet aware of your own feelings, those feelings were still running in the background--algorithms of the soul, if you will.  

The night before, the booth in the corner of the restaurant is just a booth in an otherwise empty corner. But after you meet the person who is to become your person, that booth is no longer just a booth. It's the place where love began. You never pass it again and not think about the moment you fell from Earth into heaven. Love is perhaps the only thing that allows humans to defy gravity without harming the environment, or, ourselves. 

Even food is part of that first memory. What you were eating, drinking...and, what you weren't. Maybe you ordered the Thai curry dish. And, he did, too. Sitting behind you, in that booth in the corner--the one you'll remember for the rest of your life. You turned round and said, "Did you just order the same thing I'm eating?" He looked at you the way no one else ever had (nor ever will...) and then, then he smiled. A shy smile. A smile you'll see in your dreams for months, perhaps years thereafter. Though you're still technically strangers, an invisible string has tightened between you. And, you know just then that no matter how many miles may separate you in future, you'll never really be apart. 

You'll remember, too, that moment when you thought yourself complete until the person who becomes your person enters your world. That's when you realized that though complete, you weren't quite whole. You never thought you needed anyone or anything to be happy. You felt confident, competent, capable. Until, one day, you simply turned around. It was that quick. That easy. Pure moments always are.

​A pure moment is a moment without hesitation. A moment where there was no predisposed thinking. You were just part of the flow and moved with the tides of Destiny. That's usually when Destiny opens the door to your future. Why? Because you were being your authentic self. In every other meeting or encounter, we have agendas, plans. But in a natural moment that evolves between two souls who have never met before, and had no idea that moment was even possible (let alone probable), you are truly you. And, if someone falls in love with you when you are truly you, that's the person you keep. The one who notices your details and doesn't judge you but instead, sees you as courageous. Brave. And beautiful, inside and out. 

No one knows what the future may hold, but when you're in love, you know that no matter what happens, that pure moment, and the pure emotion that followed, is your miracle. You experienced something real. Something beyond words. Memory holds the images, sounds, touches, and tastes you will never not miss. That's when fear can wriggle into the dark peripheries of your mind. The "what ifs" creep around on stilted thoughts that are hard to reach without undertaking mental acrobatics. But even with the circus of emotions that come up after you fall in love, you're still in love. And, if you were honest with yourself, you'd be able to admit that you'd dive into the deep end tomorrow if the person who is your person asks. 

Every summer, I take daily swims that last for hours upon hours off the coast of Cape Cod. Mink whales, dolphins, seals, and yes, even sharks swim along side me. No wet suit. Just a bikini. In I go, day after day. Fisherman see me swimming and warn that I'm "too far out." But I feel safest when furthest from the shore. The deeper, the better. Perhaps it's because it, too, is a pure moment--like falling in love. Me and the sea. Nothing else matters. If it's a windy day, it takes all I have not to succumb to the beating of the waves. Yet, I know I'll make it to shore, even if it takes me longer. I think love is like that--like swimming in deep waters. You don't always know what's under the surface, but its worth the risks. Because, frankly, there is no feeling quite like being in the sea. You're free. At peace. Happy. Others may think you mad, but you know you're safer than they are amidst the crowds of sociopaths and narcissists, deadly disease lurking in the shadow of every fickle freckle.

Indeed, love is a wide-open ocean full of possibilities. You're not so much falling as you are floating, cradled by the waves that can carry you to distant shores. Your skin will become stained with sunshine and salt. Your hair will fade. But, you'll never be alone again. Your freedom increases exponentially when properly paired. You can be anything, go anywhere. There's a kind of confidence that comes with love that reminds me of the safety of water--it holds you up. You become buoyant and can float over hardships and obstacles without a second thought.

Everyone deserves the kind of love that lifts you up and makes you feel safe. The kind of love that would go to extraordinary lengths just to hold you for a few hours. The kind that says upon seeing you, "I don't know where to start...I just want to kiss you all over," then proceeds to do just that. Love walks you to your car and opens your door, helping you inside. Love cares that you made it to your destination. Love gets angry on your behalf when something unfair happens. Love believes in you so much, it looks for you...everywhere. Even in words that you scribble in a notebook before translating them to an electronic page:

On the day we met, you smiled at me
And I haven't stopped smiling since
Even when frightened by phantoms of future's past
I somehow know it will (one day) be okay
Because, in time, 
We will find our way
Like in that fateful moment
When you walked by
And I, I took the road less traveled by
Destiny only happens to those with the strength to see it through
You believe we were destined
Though easier to deny
I. Do. Too.

#OnTheDayWeMet 
​ 

I went hiking today amidst an autumnal landscape. Vibrant oranges, reds and yellows replaced shades of muted green and gold. A young stag quietly watched me from the dappled treeline, bowing his head in silent greeting. Tiny white and purple flowers still bloomed amidst the tall, grassy field where dragonflies, grasshoppers and butterflies watched as I carefully made my way across the expanse, avoiding the treachery of hidden fox holes.

It was in this very field where I met the wolf. Yes, a real wolf. She had huge paws and rusty gray-brown fur. I was upwind; she didn't even know I was there. But she was fast-approaching and I wanted to keep as much distance between us as possible so took a risk and made myself known. It was winter. And cold. Twilight, too. I was distracted by a meteor shower--the very reason I was hiking at that late hour in the first place.

The wolf initially backed off when I approached, but then, she decided to challenge me. As time wore on during the long face off, the darkness closed in around us, giving her the advantage. But I unabashedly continued walking toward her anyway, letting her know I was unafraid. That very confidence is why I'm still alive today....

Eventually, the wolf and I came to a mutual understanding. I was able to make my way across the frozen landscape unfettered, albeit with a wolf-shaped shadow. Believe it or not, I wasn't scared. But I also wasn't scared as I lay awake during a 17-hour surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in my brain, realizing in hour-ten that I'd lost use of half my body. Nor was I frightened when a man who was 80lbs heavier and a foot taller assaulted me in a parking lot. I fought back and managed to give him a black eye. Then, when he tried to get away in a nearby vehicle, I climbed into the backseat and held my arm across his neck, choking him until he relented. I was only 18 when that happened. 

Of all the many battles I've fought in my lifetime (and all the many, many scars I have to prove it), love is the most frightening. It's funny how you can be a complete person then meet someone and realize you weren't exactly whole. Pieces of you were somehow missing and you didn't even know it. 

Love is scary because you suddenly have something to lose. And, that makes you vulnerable. I don't like feeling vulnerable...do you?

Vulnerability is the reason why I say (and sometimes do) stupid things in love--it's an attempt to cover up my genuine fear. Admitting I'm afraid is as bad as admitting that I've fallen in love. So instead, I make it seem as though I'm unaffected. Aloof. Somehow above it all. Too busy to care. But it's not the truth. The truth is that I'm afraid of love. Cancerous tumors feel like a walk in the park in comparison. Even facing a wolf in the wild seems easier. 

Love always happens when you least expect it. I often write about how one must "survive to thrive," but sometimes, we warriors are so used  to surviving, we forget about the thriving part. That's where love comes in....

A year ago, I dreamt I met a tiger while in Ireland. The tiger was on my heels, following me. Eventually, he followed me all the way home. It's eerie how I can still hear its paws padding on the brittle fallen leaves that covered the hard ground. In the dream, it was autumn, just like it is now. As I hiked over piles of dry leaves along the trail today, the dream about the tiger came back to me in a flood of memory that washed over my snapping synapses like the tide. I shuddered and a chill ran down my spine right through to the back of my thighs.

Destiny has a way of making us shiver. But Destiny can also make us shine.... 

The simplified total of my birth date (including the year) becomes a #1010, but my birth month and day simplify to #74. Interestingly, the Year of the Tiger in the Chinese Zodiac includes 1974.

#YearOfTheTiger

 

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

-William Blake

If only time could stand still
You’d still be here, next to me
Your warm hand on my naked thigh
Talking about the weather

If only I had said, “Stay...,”
Instead of letting you walk away
So many things to regret
And that, that is one of them

Never imagined a person could say so much with a single touch
Perhaps that’s why my body loves yours with abandon?
Our kundalini blooms and grows
​A blossoming of combined souls 

Was it the essay???
To have waited nearly five decades...
You are divine intervention
I’ve looked for you every day since

If only time could stand still
I would lean over to kiss you again right now
Brush my hand across your skin
And hear you sigh

I’m too wise to wonder
Life has been sad, hard
Until you
You make everything better...just by existing

I hope I do that for you, too
Make your world better
Simply because you know I am here
And want to love you all over again (ad infinitum): 

Brazenly dancing together
With all the lights on
Intertwined, moving in sync(hronicity)
Fingers and tongues, legs and lips

I accidentally cut mine
On a 6,000-year old stone
Within a day
You appeared

You’re a dream, even when real
My body wants to preserve the memory of your touch
And I, I do, too
But I am afraid...

Are you? Afraid???
As I drove down the highway 
Your tongue was suddenly between my thighs
You are my All...the Grand Unified Theory of my existence

One day, I will take you there
To the megalithic stone
You, whom I call ‘Beloved’
Our red string stretches across the Universe in infinite lengths of 10’s

Will it make you bleed, too, I wonder?
And, what secret wish of yours will come true?
I’ve never been someone’s wish before
Except for maybe yours

You are Kate Beckinsale
I am John Cusack
Let’s just hope our Serendipity doesn’t take a decade
You said it was Destiny (I agree...)

Mine was to buy the ticket
I almost didn’t
But it was worth it
So. Are. You.

If only I awoke to your eyes looking into mine
I’d smile at your warmth
Then take you into my mouth
Every single day, until my last breath

Funny how a stranger can become more
But we were never really strangers
I knew you before I knew you
Find your way to me, Beloved

And we will put our pieces back together
Over and over again
An eternity to talk and play, dance and laugh
The adventure of a lifetime

​If only....