AWKWARD. is another one of MTV's forays into non-reality television and...it's amazing. Creator, writer and sometimes-director, 37-year old Lauren Iungerich, undoubtedly plans on keeping things interesting in Season 2 for her main character, 16-year old Jenna Hamilton, played by MENSA-girl Ashley Rickards. Rickards is recognizable from her roles on One Tree Hill, Ugly Betty, CSI: NY, and Entourage. Iungerich's list of credits is smaller; she wrote an episode of Ten Things I Hate About You prior to penning AWKWARD. but has several new projects in the works, thanks in part to her brevity and wit as seen in the pre-midnight slotted AWKWARD.

The premise is classic: Jenna Hamilton, the daughter of clueless high school sweethearts, gives "the gift of her vagi" to high school hottie and all-around popular guy, Matty McKibben, played by Beau Mirchoff. Soon after their clandestine supply-closet union, Matty socially rejects Jenna; to make matters worse, Jenna then receives a scathing anonymous letter detailing her loserdom. As if those two horrors aren't horrible enough for then-15-year old Jenna, she trips in the bathroom, almost dying--but not before breaking her arm. Everyone--both at home and at school--assumes Jenna tried to commit suicide, despite the clearly accidental circumstances. Awkward.
 
Jenna becomes "That Girl" as she calls herself on her blog...yes, she's a writer. And I suspect Jenna's just shy of being a carbon copy of creator Iungerich. You see, I'm only three years older than Iungerich. Like Rickards, I graduated high school at a younger age than most of my peers. And Jenna's experiences mimic the dynamics of a late 80's high school hallway down to the fat cheerleader who buys her popularity, thanks to rich parents. Yup, we had one of those, too. And my rich, fat cheerleader loved to torture me...like sadistic Sadie tortures Jenna. When my Sadie passed a bra back in chemistry class telling everyone I was a stripper and I'd left it at a party, I owned it a la Jenna: I stood up in class, lifted my shirt and said, "That's not mine. It's not big enough." Ah, the good old days.

Jenna's lucky she has Iungerich writing her life. Because generally, the two most popular guys in school would not really be vying for Jenna's attention. They'd corner her in the nurse's office and tell her she's the kind of girl everyone wants to have sex with, but that no one will actually date. Now that's AWKWARD.

Fantastic one-liners like "Welcome to Karma-geddon, bitch," and "The elipsis are the sluts of grammar," hit home-runs as both clever and witty. And the audience--probably mostly people between my age and Iungerich's--loves to see Jenna have the happy problem of choosing between the less articulate but super-sweet Matty and the class President who isn't afraid to be himself, Jake Rosati, played well by Brett Davern.

Jake and Jenna bond when he shows his respect for her positive attitude toward all the school drama; sadly, this guy didn't exist in real life. He's pure imagination on Iungerich's part. After rejecting his chaste-cheerleader girlfriend, Lissa's, offer to have her "be-hymen," Jake begins to think of easy-going and easy-to-talk-to Jenna as more than just a friend.

As with all good season finales, AWKWARD. has its audience feeling sad for the evolving, and newly rejected, Matty and simultaneously happy for Jenna and Jake, but with a sense of foreboding...Jake has no idea that Jenna and his best friend, Matty, were an item. When that comes out--and it will--Jake will certainly reject Jenna. Matty's silence is forgivable; he kept quiet to avoid hurting Jake, who was very verbal about his developing feelings for Jenna. Jenna, on the other hand, knows that Matty and Jake are best pals--and she's now at the top of what we feminist scholars call the "heterosexual matrix," the place where all good girls go bad. King Arthur's Guenivere comes to mind...and look at what happened to her: relegated to a nunnery! Mary Jane Watson from Spider-Man ended up in a hell-dimension. Jean Grey from X-Men ended up dying...a lot. Princess Leia almost layed her own brother! Being the pinnacle of that love-triangle almost always means--in both literary and literal terms--that the female is going to get screwed, one way or another.

And the fact of the matter is, Jenna's already been screwed. By Matty. By her friends. By her teachers. Her guidance counselor. And as we learn in the finale, even her own mother!

We need more girl-characters like Jenna on small and big screens alike. While I'm thrilled AWKWARD. will have a Season 2, I shudder to think of Jenna's future path. I hope Iungerich doesn't really feel cruelty is necessary for kindness. Jenna's vapid mother has that one all wrapped up in a neat mirrored-ceiling, bra-less bow. 

Kudos to creator Iungerich and the cast and crew of MTV's AWKWARD.! On the Housel-scale, you earn a well-deserved 9/10. On par with films like Easy A and Pretty in Pink, AWKWARD. keeps things interesting on TV screens...like it was in the beginning with Martha Quinn! I knew you had it in you, MTV....



 

I learn something new with each passing year; this year, I finally learned how to empower myself. As a teacher, I'm excellent at empowering others. My belief in their person is unflinching. My support of their ideas, equally so. I work harder for people like my students, my family, friends--even strangers I've never met at all--than I ever have for myself. And I'm not alone.

Thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of women do the same thing each day. We are the connectors--it's how our brains are set up. Without emotional containment, we're vulnerable to being emotionally obese creatures--indulging in every feeling we get from others. Yes, you read that right--not from ourselves. From other people.

When you can see the connections between everything, you have learned to read not only situations but people, too. How do mothers ALWAYS know when something is wrong--even when not told directly? Women's intuition is criticized as weak and inferior when in fact, it makes us what Malcolm Gladwell calls "connectors"--the people who bring others together and help spread ideas. Why is that a weakness? How does that make a woman inferior? Simply put, it doesn't.

Growing up, so much of ourselves comes from how others define us. Judith Butler calls this the "performative," and it means that we essentially "perform" within the social roles we are given...most of the time.

Empowering yourself takes time; it requires acceptance of things you may not want to see or understand. I am not, nor have I ever been, an aggressive person. I wear my heart on my sleeve...and as a result, have absolutely NO poker face. I don't try to make myself feel better by pushing others down or making people feel stupid. I like to raise people up. Consistently. All of my life choices have been made with integrity--toward moving people forward with positivity--despite more difficulties than can aptly be described here.

Over the years, I have watched many students be courageous--more courageous than I have ever been. Two of my beloved student-family in particular--the people I've taught since 1994--inspire me each and every day. Their belief in themselves as individuals freed them from everything they'd been told their whole lives about who they were. Because they knew, somewhere deep inside, that what they'd been told, what they'd been taught--all of it--was simply wrong. A lie. That lie was based on the expectations and/or desires of others--"it" wasn't them. These two young people recognized this life-deficiency within only a few short decades. Of course, it's taken me a bit longer.

I write this today because I want YOU, whoever YOU are, to know that it is never too late to empower yourself. It can't be. Extra weight isn't the only thing lost that can be re-gained. We are born who we are; our environment impacts all of us in very important ways as well. But those experiences do not have to define us, nor should they. 

Before, when asked a question, I always felt compelled to answer. From a very young age, I was eager to please. Today, I'm still eager...and grateful. Which is exactly why I've changed my focus. Now, I'm eager to please me. I'm grateful for the person I am--not the person I've become--because I've always been this way. That shift in perspective has allowed me to be free. Or, freer than I have ever been before. We still have to pay taxes, after all....

And I don't need to apologize for it; I don't need to explain it. This is not something up for social debate, though plenty of people will judge me for it anyway. And they'll judge you, too--should you be brave enough to do what I've done. 

I can't tell you what happens on the other side of life. I simply don't know that answer. What I can tell you with complete and utter confidence is that, while here, our lives are extraordinarily precious. Unless you know something I don't, we cannot go backwards. There is no pause button. No reset. No rewind, or fast-forward. We are in what Joseph Campbell called "the belly of the whale." It's a trial, one of many, that define the human condition. And no matter how many people we love or have as friends on Facebook or Twitter, in the end--we are all alone. When I'm alone with myself, I know--beyond a shadow of a doubt--that I have lived, and continue to live, my life with integrity. Loyal to others. But not always myself.

Today, I choose me. I know my limits and accept them. I passed the test.
 
Now, it's your turn.


 

*SPOLIER ALERT*

Too good to wait. Boy, that was a GREAT finale! I have to admit, Raelle Tucker, the author of the last episode of Season 4, managed to surprise even me.

We all knew it wasn't Jessica knocking on Jason's door again--Hoyt, maybe, but the Rev...and with fangs??? I liked it. A lot. But that storyline only has about three possibilities...not enough to keep the Truebies busy over the next nine months. A tad disappointing there. After a truly remarkable season of one breath-taking episode after another, it would be difficult for Team-True Blood not to falter...if only a little. I found this device old, tired and ultimately, cliche. But if anyone can pull it off, it's Tucker. Here's to hoping! (and I'm actually toasting to that success with my latest mixology concoction, the "Cruel Mistress," which will be featured in this month's Pop Culture Cooking...yes, it's back!!!)

Ready to keep going? Onward!

Sookie shoots Debbie. Fans of Harris's novels had a heads-up there. Which begs the question, why is hot, hunky Alcide Herveaux attracted to homicidal maniacs???  Sookie just joined the club. She killed Debbie with the same precision with which she spooned sugar and poured milk into Tara's mug earlier in the episode. Scary. And so was that scene with Bill and Eric. No manage a trois this season, kids....

Jesus dies. But don't feel too badly. He was never really part of Harris's novels anyway. Lafayette, on the other hand-- resurrected as he was--has only one place to go from here.... I can't say anything more. And yes, I'm as big a tease as that ginger-slut, Jessica. And you love it, don't you???

There were some great lines in the last episode; I'll let you savor all the fun one-liners on your own. Some of them had me laughing out loud. It's one of my favorite parts of the show. And, Tucker's golden pen.

Nan gets it in the end, or does she? Perhaps she who laughs best doesn't have to laugh last...because someone dug up Russell Edgington. Oh yes, he's back, baby!!!! Season 5 is looking good....

Sam and Luna are tight after both burying their dead...and just as she tells Sam not to jinx their joy, a werewolf emerges from the shadows. We saw that one coming with our eyes closed, people!

Tara is shot! In the head. Saving Sookie. Oy. She looks dead, but if you're a fan of Harris's novels, you know Tara lives a relatively normal, healthy life...with marriage, children, even a career as a local shop-owner. I want Tara to live and love again--not only because I think Rutina Wesley rocks and would miss her inspirational performances--but because I'm sick of seeing the African-American characters get beat up. There. I said it.

Does Andy Bellefleur father a faery-child? His world is in for a shake- up, down, and all around in Season 5. Holly, better hang on to your witch's hat...cuz you're in for the ride of your Wiccan-life!

And poor Arlene! Isn't it bad enough she was engaged to a serial killer who impregnated her with his demon spawn? I guess not. Terry's a good man, but as the peacock-owning author Flannery O'Connor once pointed out--also a Southerner like Harris and Ball--"a good man is hard to find"....

We all know #waitingsucks...so why wait? Check out the 2011 E-dition of True Blood & Philosophy: We Wanna THINK Bad Things with You, available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon...and iTunes! Shameless plugs aside, like our favorite TB vamps, you can only sustain yourself on True Blood 4 re-runs for so long before you need an infusion of human hemoglobin...and I understand (from very good sources) that mine is rather magical. At least, in literary form. 

TB 4:12 rates an unapologetic 9/10 on the Housel-scale. Great season, everyone--and of course, our thanks to Alan Ball, Raelle Tucker, the cast and crew of HBO's True Blood, all the behind-the-scenes HBO peeps who make it happen, the "real" Sookie--Charlaine Harris, and yes, YOU--the fans--without whom none of this would matter. 

Until Season 5...stay thirsty! For True Blood, that is.... 

Where to begin??? I asked the question in my original post, which was lost moments ago into the magical ether of technology. Boy, do I hate that. And, my mysterious keyboard, which still holds secrets even after four years together....

Alan Ball is a genius. But you don't need me to tell you that. If you're a fan of True Blood, finishing its fourth season tonight, you undoubtedly agree. Never would I have read one of Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels and thought, "Emmy winner!" But Ball did. He, and people like Raelle Tucker, have created a show that make synapses snap to attention. Mine included. I used to call True Blood an existential train wreck with crashes of soft-core porn; today, I call it life-blood.

In a sea of otherwise uninteresting and unimaginative fare, Ball & Co. prepare a veritable feast for hungry audiences. And we are VERY hungry. Reality TV is the viewing equivalent of Chinese take-out; audiences find themselves starved for something more...well, meaty. Protein-based foods take up to four hours to digest, keeping you fuller, longer. Carbs, like a big plate of lo mein, can take less than two hours, tricking the body (and mind) into a false sense of satisfaction. But like a bloody steak, True Blood provides enough mental protein for eager audiences to feast on for nine months in between seasons. Now that's what I call a good meal!

The last three episodes have been some of the best television witnessed in my lifetime, and that's no small feat. As "The Pop Culture Professor," it's my job to review EVERYTHING...from Russian Dolls to new animated Wolverine episodes to the latest Food Network Chopped. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. And I've been doing it for 17 years. In ALL that time, NEVER have I seen anything so original as the last three episodes, 9-11, of True Blood. And as today is 9-11, it seemed the right time to discuss it with all of you.

Today is a difficult day in American history. One of the people I admire in 2011 is Lesley Jane Seymour, Editor-in-Chief of More magazine. She put out a Twitter query on Friday: What were you doing on September 11, 2001? I answered.

September 11, 2001, I was in a rehabilitation hospital two weeks after a neurosurgery for brain cancer that left one half of my body essentially paralyzed. My world had ended. Nothing was as it seemed. Everything was surreal, absurd even. As I lay in my hospital bed, unable to move, I watched a plane crash into the Twin Towers; one of the nurses had come in to give me a Heprin shot (to prevent blood clots) and turned on one of the many morning "news" shows that clutter American telvisions each morning...even Saturdays. At first, I thought it was some kind of stunt; it was just so unbelievable. Though totally numb from my own constant pain, I was sadly aware I was no longer alone.

The stories that began to unfold from that moment forward were something unthinkable in the American collective unconscious. And yet, still real. Still happening. Almost as unbelievable as a 30-year old woman being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor for the second time since she was 20. Seven years later, we all found ourselves in a better place. I was literally back on my feet again, and so was America. We had healed, together yet separate. Part of what helped us move forward was the mindless escapism pleasantly provided by popular culture, ever-eager to serve. And by the summer of 2008, we were all ready for something new. Something daring, adventurous...something, unthinkable. Dark creatures of the night are now the heroes. Humans are the monsters. In a Joseph Campbell-esque world, where "ritual death and dismemberment" are real, True Blood provided American true-blues with a much needed catharsis.

So this piece tonight is dedicated to Alan Ball & Co., to Charlain Harris, to all the Truebies, Fangers, Bangers, and Monster-mash ups like Marnie. Thank you. Humbly, gratefully and most sincerely. 

Episode 9 was amazing; I'd never seen anything like it...until Episode 10. Episode 10 took Episode 9 and rolled into Episode 11 with a BANG! CRASH! KAPOW! We've seen the miracle of rebirth with Mavis and her infant son, thanks to Jaguar-Jesus and Lafayette.

Lafayette's character died early in Harris's novels; it's only appropriate that someone who is brought back to life, so to speak, exists between the two worlds. Seeing through the thin veil between life and death is something common to those of us who are now in what I call "the between space." And Marnie, well, let's just say that tonight...she's attempting to bridge the gap between the here-after and the "between." Will Jesus and Lafayette survive? We'll know in 15 minutes!

Jessica and Jason...as predicted earlier this summer, the twain have met! Hoyt is no longer part of Jessica's equation. Does Season 5 hold a future for these two star-crossed lovers? Only time will tell...because if I do, the plot may change, and we don't want that to happen (again). ;)

Sookie Stackhouse. Anna Pacquin's thighs don't even touch she's so skinny this season, no more apparent than in her red, lacey get-up where she dreams about BOTH Bill and Eric. Lucky girl. But all the actors looked more gaunt this season; like they'd subsisted on a cube of cheese and seven almonds for the nine months in between Season 3 and Season 4.  Well, everyone except Alcide Herveaux or Joe Manganiello, whose last name contains the word "eat" in Italian...yum.

No were-tigers this season, sadly, Maybe next. Sam Merlotte, though, has had quite an interesting run. In turn, Sam Trammell has really gotten to show his chops (and choppers) this season...here's to more of that in Season 5!

Is Pam going to reunite with Eric? Of course, my beautiful Vampirazzi...have no fear. Pam will always be pretty in her pink casket.

And what of Debbie Pelt? Her last name is a big foreshadow...no surprises there. But there ARE surprises in store...keep watching! I know I will....

On the Housel-scale, True Blood 4:9-11 earn a bloody-good 10/10...if I could give it more, I would. Damn, I hate limits. And that, my dear readers, is EXACTLY why True Blood is so AMAZING.