Have you ever read Paulo Coelho's book, The Alchemist??? Right around the time a friend gave me that book, I began the process of awakening. Awakening sounds lovely, doesn't it? As if you just open your eyes and everything looks magical. But it's more like actual birth: Bloody, long, and painful. You transform. When you finally emerge from the mess, you may be shocked by the secrets you kept hidden from yourself. I know I was.

You think you know yourself pretty well after about four decades. You think every nook and cranny of your being has been explored, exposed and examined. But until you begin #AwakeLife, you have absolutely no idea who you really are, or, what you're capable of--regardless of things like age.

Coelho's protagonist, Santiago, believes he needs certain things to have a good life. He thinks, if he goes on this great journey and finds what he's looking for, then his life will be set. But it turns out that, in the end, Santiago had everything he needed all along. Besides the infamous quote from the book about how, when you want something with all your heart, the Universe conspires to make it happen, there is another that I particularly love and find particularly relevant in this particular moment:

"Remember that, wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure."

Most of us just assume we know our hearts. But until you're fully awake, you likely don't have a clue. Once you can admit the truth to yourself, however, you will not only know your heart better, you will also find the answer to what it is you've been looking for on your journey through life. Your "treasure," if you will. 

If the thing you cherish is money or fame, I wish you luck. Those things are artificial and so, meaningless. You'll never find satisfaction because you will always crave more of what will forever be as fleeting as time itself.

If the thing you cherish is family, I also wish you luck. Having a loving family is wonderful, but children grow up. They will live their own lives, and parents, aunts, uncles will fade into the backdrop. It's supposed to be that way. Children are meant to become independent. When you raise your children to be strong, that is the ultimate result. So, as amazing as your children are, they are not your heart's desire. Nor should they be.

If the thing you cherish is experience, you will also find that, at some point, it falls short. Experience is an integral part of human existence. And it happens through appreciation of things like art and nature. Though it costs nothing to walk out your front door and look at the sky, to truly experience new things, one must travel. Travel costs money. If you forego all else to work in order to travel, you will wake up one day very lonely. By the same token, if you only work and never travel, life loses a little of its luster.

If the things you cherish have to be bought, then you have been misled into thinking that money can buy happiness. Money is definitely necessary for a good quality of life. We all need it. But it's not enough. And, it never will be.  

No, the one thing every human heart truly desires is real love. With it comes acceptance of who you are. You can have a gut, lose your hair, get wrinkles in places you didn't know could possibly wrinkle, but real love will always see you as beautiful. Young. Athletic. That's why real love will never reject you. Real love will hold you when you're sick. It will draw you closer, not push you away, when you cry. Real love does not ignore your pain. Or, cause it. Real love is honest. It tells the truth, even if that truth is ugly. It puts aside things like pride and ego in order to acknowledge love more fully. That's what makes it such a miracle.

Real love is timeless, ageless, and liberating. It increases freedom. Expands your world. Makes you unlimited. It's worth the effort. Because, in the end, the only thing that will matter to you when you are drawing your last breath is that you had real love. Not the kind of love that grows after you settle for what you think you wanted. Or, were forced by circumstances to embrace. I'm not talking about silver-linings kind of love. I'm talking about the real thing. The kind of love that lasts a literal lifetime. There is nothing more perfect in this world.

My wish for everyone reading this right now, no matter who you are, is that you find real love. Your true treasure. The thing that makes your heart and soul sing in unison. The one thing that will never fade or die, no matter how much time passes, or how long you are apart.

I believe the world is sick because so many of us deny that love. Why deny what we truly want? Because, it's damn scary. Frankly, it's much easier to deny the real deal and live with people you don't feel that intensely about. Whatever they do, or don't do, is pretty much irrelevant. You can never really get hurt that way.  

You may at first try to make silver-lining love fit into what you dreamt real love would be like, but if it isn't real, it will fade anyway. No matter how many band-aids you apply. You can spend every day together, but it won't matter. If you had a good partnership, you'll be friends. But you may no longer be true lovers. Only as much as you feel obligated to do so. Not because you can't stop thinking about every inch of your beloved's skin, or the way their lips felt on yours when you kissed...or, the way their eyes seemed to light up in a smile when they looked at you. The touch of their hand running down your stomach. The feel of their hair on your inner thigh. The sound of their voice. And the way you sighed in relief when their arms enveloped you, pulling you into their chest.

You can spend a lifetime apart, but you will never forget those things. You will try. Especially if life gets in the way. But one day, you will wake up. And everything you pushed down inside you, drugged, and otherwise tried to drown, will surface. When that happens, like Coelho's Santiago, you will have come full circle. It is my prayer for each of you that real love is returned to you in full. And, that a conspiring Universe protects you on what can be a rather treacherous journey.

When you finally find your heart's desire, I imagine it feels a lot like #Christmas morning. You wake up with a sense of wonder and joy. You can't wait to see what the day brings. You feel energized, excited. You smile more easily. You want to do kind things for others. You treat yourself with respect by living your best life possible. Every day. You feel grateful for your life. And so, are eager to give of yourself to better the life of the person you truly love. And the best part? They want to do the very same thing for you.

Real love makes everyday feel like a holiday...just got a knock to that. Guess my #ghosts agree. 

#Christmas


#TwinFlame #1111 Post-script: We may have many soul mates (soul contracts) throughout our lifetimes, including siblings, pets, parents, friends, children, and spouses, but we only have one #TwinFlame--a person we came here with and planned to meet in order to experience unconditional love. Please find that person. No matter where you are in your life. Don't stop until you find each other. Be brave! You were made for this. And, once you do find one another, never ever let go.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, whoever "they" may be. In the meantime, it's of little comfort to those of us who are the "real deal"...very little. There are plenty of cheap knock offs on the market. No end to the supply of "good enough" and "silver linings." Why reach beyond the moon when you can land amongst the stars, right???

Wrong.

To be honest, I'm getting rather tired of cheering on the complacent. Making the sinners feel like the saints. Do you want to know what it is to be great? Not great because you hear your own voice in a podcast you yourself pay to have put on the air. Or, because your name is on a book you published yourself, or even to have been an accidental TV personality. None of that takes talent. It never lasts either. Because true greatness comes from a different place. You can't buy it. Or, have helpers who will work harder for you than you will yourself. There's no amount of cleavage shots on the planet or sycophantic responses on social media that will make you great either.

Either you are born with greatness, or, you aren't.

I used to believe we all had it. Greatness. But, we don't. It's a lie we tell ourselves. To keep on breathing. To feel like we have a purpose. It's just somehow eluded us. For decades. Except, greatness doesn't exactly hide. You can't push it down. No one can. If it's really in there, you'd know it.

Everyone is always searching outside of themselves for whatever their vision of greatness entails. Being in the public eye means you crave mass validation. Which also means, you're insecure. Every single day. The more you get of that external validation, the smaller you actually feel about yourself, too. It's a vicious cycle. There's never going to be enough supply to feed your fragile ego. It creates a kind of narcissistic culture, where you discard the people you feel will eventually reject you--whether they actually reject you or not--in a constant search for fresh "supply."

Let's just set the record straight, shall we???

You are not funny because people laugh--you are funny because you're intelligent as fuck. You can prove that fact in a myriad of ways, including college degrees from Ivy-level schools who literally paid you to go there. And, as long as you weren't born with too many social disadvantages, you can use your talent to earn. Yes, other people have to believe in you in order for you to do so, and, if you're part of any social group that is not also white and male, you will encounter resistance. But talent is talent. It may take you longer than another person, but if you make the time to nurture the greatness you were born with, there will come a point where no one can deny who you are.

It is the same with beauty, or any "art" you have inside you. If you have it, everyone can see it. Even those who deny it by denying you. Even those who trade you in for lesser models. Even the people who call you a friend, then, proceed to rip off your ideas. Your words. Your images. Your very creativity. And somehow, still call it their own. That's not flattery. That's plain old cheating.

To honestly love the person you're with is not cheating. Even if you're married. It's about acknowledgement of others. If you have properly acknowledged the people who helped contribute to your life, you are not a cheater. In any circumstance. It is the people who scheme and sneak around and pretend to be something they're not who are the real cheaters. For, we are all of us liars when vulnerable. But denying the greatness of great people--making them feel small to push yourself up--that creates vulnerability. It's designed to. And THAT is when you cross a line you can never return from. At least, not in this lifetime.

I'd forgotten about this cunning little quote from the undeniably great British writer, Jessica Mitford. She said, "You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty."

That's pretty much where I am in this moment. And, it is a bad, sad place to be. For you. Because, my words are weapons, you see. It is MY talent. Sharp little points that pierce your skin. You don't even realize how deep the cuts go. By the time you do, it's too late. You've bled out and are dying, perhaps even already dead, though you think you're still alive. That's the horror of it all. You become one of the walking dead, and I'm not talking about the fictional variety imagined by Robert Kirkman.

The truly great actors, great comedians, great writers, great artists, photographers, architects, philosophers...these are not the people you know by name. Their greatness is within them. Your approval is simply not needed. Or even wanted. That's why you hate them. Imitate, but never fully appreciate. You think you're coy, but in reality, you're simply incapable of doing anything else. Because, to do anything else would be understanding a pivotal concept your unevolved brain is too weak to grasp:

You. Don't. Matter.

No one cares about you. Not really. Your family will abandon you the moment you become too sick or tired or depressed to kiss their collective asses. You will have never asked for help--not once in nearly five decades--but the moment you do, the people who claim to love you will look at you through suspicious eyes. If nothing good ever happens for you, no one wants to see you or talk to you. You have to literally pretend to be happy, to be a perpetual cheerleader, or your worries, your fears, your problems aren't even important enough for strangers to listen to, let alone people who once called you "sister."

Oh, don't worry...those who basically left you for dead will be there to ask you the gossipy stuff. Eventually. Anything that leaves the corners of their gaping mouths a little wet. Like a fluffer on a porn set.

Even if you're dying, the most you'll get is feigned concern. You know it isn't real, because no one is driving 500 miles to see you, are they? And, they won't feel guilty about it either. When you die, they won't bother coming to your funeral. Maybe they'll write a check to a charity in your name, but even that's a stretch. If you didn't matter to them when you were still breathing, why would you matter more when you aren't???

Stop babying yourselves. Get mentally tougher. Or, you are doomed to live a totally useless life that doesn't matter to anyone anyway. Every excuse you have for not developing who you really are is based on the "needs" of other people. It's funny but, those "needs" are only put on you because you are the one willing to entertain them. And, you're willing to trade hours, days, months, and years of your precious time to entertain the fantastical needs of others because you are too damned scared to spend even a moment alone with yourself.

You take drugs to think. You take drugs to stay calm. You take drugs to get excited. You take drugs to stay awake. You take drugs to sleep...you do realize that your body was built to do all of the above WITHOUT drugs, don't you???

Wake up! If you're reading this, it's because you are being called to stop zombie-life and start #AwakeLife....

No one will ever love you more than you. No one will ever advocate for you better than you. And absolutely no one will recognize your talents--your greatness--unless you do. You must, must, must love yourself unconditionally. It is the ONLY way you will ever achieve even a single moment of happiness.

Stop worrying so much about what other people are or aren't doing. Stop cyberstalking, creeping, peeping, and sneaking. If you can't find the art within you, it's probably because you're too busy cheating, lying, stealing, and frankly, being too lazy to get off your well-padded ass to find out who you really are and what--if anything--you have to offer the world.

That's true greatness, by the way. Using whatever gifts you have to help others. Not because you get something for it, like artificial fame. But because...you can. With a single thought, you can begin to #RepairTheWorld. You just have to want to. That means wanting it enough to put in the time, energy, and effort it takes to MAKE IT HAPPEN. You can't give up before you've even gotten started. I'll usually put a human spin on it, tell you it's somehow okay to feel that way, except, it isn't. When you give up, when you don't believe, you are actually hurting the people who do. You're creating obstacles, not helping to clear the path. Do you know what that tells me???

You're weak. Afraid. Made sick by the social cage you were kept in your whole life. I am sick, too. Of listening to your whining. You've never had to fight to breathe--yet you think you have. The tiniest offense offends your fragile sensibilities. Because, of course, you are nobody and nothing and have not a single inkling of greatness inside any fiber of your pathetic being. But what? Your mommy tells you you're great? Your best friend? Your spouse? Your siblings??? Wipe the drool from your bubbling lips. You disgust me. "You" being any adult who so completely lacks self awareness, you must be shamed into seeing your own reflection in the mirror.

YOU are the ONLY one who can cultivate you. I am great, not because of a single other human being. I am great because I have done things no one else has. That stands, whether anyone ever acknowledges it as truth or not. I have beaten the odds over and over and over ad nauseum, ad infinitum.

Don't know Latin??? Why the fuck not? You can read, can't you? Open a book. Or, if you're too lazy to do that, Google it.

Positive energy isn't something I can really give to you. It's something you're born with. I can help a positive person out of a slump. I can give a positive person affirmations to keep them uplifted. But if you are innately negative, no one but you can help you. You have to see yourself for who you are. Understand you are nothing. Recognize that you have no matter. Only then, can you sense who you really are. And only then will you be able to find your true greatness.

#Scorn


#TwinFlames #1111 Post-script: This piece is dedicated to two of America's greatest writers, Lillian Hellman and Dorothy Parker. Both women were unafraid to speak their mind. Neither stayed silent in the face of injustice. And, each followed her heart, no matter how dangerous the road....

Today's date (8.9.16) represents #899, which, when added one to another, creates two "17's"--or, another two "8's." Essentially, that means there are three "8's" in today's chart. Three "8's" equal "24," which is a "6" when simplified. The number "6" is broken down further to six "1's" or three sets of "11." Three sets of "11" is the master number "33," representing the master teacher. By the way, anytime you add "8" and "3," you get "11." And, any "2" can be simplified to "11." That is why "11" is considered the original "master number" in numerology.

The number "8" represents infinity; anyone born on the 8th, 17th, or 26th of the month has a soul number of "8." The number "8," especially in triplet form, can be a sign of abundance. A soul number of "8" is the number of karma. The universal law of cause and effect. People with that soul number can be controlling, judgmental. Dictatorships may replace relationships. But because of their authoritarian natures, an "8" soul number can be very organized, accountable, professional, and good with things like financial management. An "8" will often find themselves in leadership positions. Executive Director is a common title for an "8." Women with that soul number often have more than one child, and, with multiple fathers. An "8" means multiples in relationships, too. Multiple marriages as well as subsequent divorces.

An "8" is made up of two "4's." The number "4" represents stability, the Earth and Heaven. However, while a "4" becomes three-dimensional when combined with a "6," an "8" can only be complete with a "2"--so, anyone born on the 2nd, 11th or 20th is the best match for an "8." That is when the "8" reaches it's full potential and can use their authority to create peace and prosperity. However, if you were to add a "6" soul number to an "8," you get the karmic debt number of "14."

The implication of such a soul-combination will result in abuse--physical, emotional, psychological, professional, and/or financial. Because a "6" is prone to self-sacrifice, it is also prone to submission. When combined with an "8," that will translate to weakness, not empowerment. It's an unlikely pairing but will be almost irresistible to the "6" in the relationship, particularly if that "6" has a "5" in his or her chart (because "5" is the total of "14" simplified). Such an equation is indicative of a karmic soul-contract. If the relationship continues after the soul-contract is fulfilled, the "6" may become too beaten down to correct the abuse, especially if there are children involved. Soul number "6" is infamous for getting into bad relationships and staying in the toxicity in order to maintain domestic peace.

The "6's" of this world may wish to understand better how their soul will "urge" them toward certain negatives in order for them to repair their karma. Having the strength to overcome whatever toxicity your otherwise peaceful soul has gotten itself into--because it is peaceful in the first place--is your ultimate soul-purpose. Once you are able to use that amazing ability to love unconditionally for your own benefit, you can find the "4" that will truly complete you, empower you, and give you the bliss you deserve.

A "6" should be aware that selflessness can be selfish if used as an excuse for complacency. The best lesson you can teach your children as a "6" is to follow their bliss, not to keep the peace at any cost. For, they will follow your lead and find their own abusers to keep the peace with if you don't.

Because there are two "9's" today, which, when added together and simplified create a third "9" or #999, the number of completion and wholeness, it is important to look at that numerological meaning as well. The number "9" itself means spiritual awakening. Anyone born in a "9" year, including 1908, 1917, 1926, 1935, 1944, 1953, 1962, 1971, 1980, 1989, 1998, 2007, 2016, 2025, 2034, 2043, 2052, 2061, 2070, 2088, and 2097 are (or will be) "lightworkers," born to help others awaken in some way. To bring unconditional love to humanity. But being awake when others wish to remain sleeping can create social disconnects. Which in turn, causes things like depression and lethargy. In a world designed to keep light out, being a person designed to bring light in can be...well, frustrating. It's easy to sink into a kind of nihilism, where you feel nothing you do really matters or makes much of a difference. This is bad for the "6's" born in a "9" year. However, "9" is also the number for romance and inner strength. So, any "6" born in a "9" year can take advantage of this rare cosmic moment, particularly related to romance.

The overall message of today is for the "6" soul number derived from "24" and connected to "8" in some way, born in a "9" year:

You have come to the end of a life cycle. You now have the chance to feel whole and complete. However, you are not there yet. You have some karmic details to attend to, likely having to do with a domestic situation, given that, for a "6," there's nothing of greater value. Today is telling you to be strong. To make your next choices with courage. If you choose your bliss over keeping the peace, you will not just be correcting your own soul, but the souls of anyone connected to you--like a child, or a grandchild. It can also be nieces, nephews, or other young people you mentor or work with.

Choosing your bliss will lead to unprecedented abundance: Better health, improved wealth, and an infinite exchange of unconditional love. Your heart and soul will sing in unison. You will have everything you've ever wanted and more. As good as your silver-linings are now, life itself will be 1001-times better than you could ever imagine.

You're at the crossroads. That's where we all meet the Devil. Whatever form that Devil takes for you, don't make ANY further compromises. No deals! Not with yourself or anyone else. Do you know why the "8's" have it over you??? They're uncompromising. Any relationship with an "8" was designed to teach you how to use that trait to find true domestic bliss.

We always feel the need to compromise most right before a breakthrough. We've already come a good distance. Made progress. But we're tired now. We want rest. Peace. So, we agree to give up a little of ourselves. We think it will be temporary. That, in five years, maybe 10, things will be different. We'll somehow be ready to make the necessary changes we know will lead to our true happiness. But, the thing is, you're never going to be ready. There is no magic moment where everything will be exactly the way you want it to be. While you wait for perfection, all that's really happening is that you are missing your opportunity.

Just so we're clear, opportunities are miracles. Miracles often appear when it is least convenient. You see, you don't deserve the miracle if you aren't willing to work for it. Put in the effort. Invest in your own happiness. Trust yourself. For once.

Today's numbers are showing you that if you have the guts to believe in yourself, the entire Universe will be there to back you up.

You can find abundance and completion. You just have to stop self-medicating. Stop pretending. Stop using your strength to survive instead of thrive. Get out of the karmic loop of abuse. Instead, seize opportunities for true joy. That's the miracle of all miracles. And, it's being offered to you on a silver platter.

All you have to do is decide that you want it....

#24