I Will Never Not Miss You

I will never not miss you...
Not for a day
Not for an hour
Not for a moment
You are forever fixed
In my mind...in my heart
And, in my bed

I will never not miss you...
Not a single day has passed
Without you in it
Even though you've not seen me 
I still see you
Your gaze
Your smile...I think I miss that the most

I once thought you loved others like you did me
It was just your way
How you moved 
How you kissed
How our foreheads touched 
Now, I know better
You'd fallen for me (too)

Was petty pride more important?
More important than me??
More important than you???
I'll never not be sad about that
And, I'll never not see the spark in your eye when I said,
"Let's go upstairs...."
What I wouldn't give to go back in time

It was a rare moment
One I can never not forget
One I'll never not grieve
The world has gone utterly mad 
Yet I still sit here, in the dark, and think of you
Those green eyes...
That sad smile...

You, you dream of me (too)
Mostly in your sleep
And I, I feel it (down there)
Maybe one day, that will end
Then again, maybe one day, my phone will ring
Your voice echoing into my eternity
Another fixed moment I'll never not forget

I dread the decades ahead without you
You linger...you linger in my soul
How is it you can stay when the rest of you has gone?
Oh no, my love, I will never not miss you
I'll never not look at the mantel at Christmastime
And miss your name on a stocking
A stocking that's supposed to be next to mine

Indeed, it is true...I will never not miss you
Oh no, my love, I will never not miss you
One day, not too far from now, perhaps you...you will miss me, too.

---