The silver lining? Heartbreak can teach us valuable lessons about who we are and what we want.
In any relationship, we need to feel valued. A person who values you will not discount you for any reason. But if an individual makes the mistake of taking you for granted, they'll need to prove themselves to move the relationship forward in the future.
Trust may be easy to receive, but it's tough to earn....
Panic can happen. Cold feet can happen. But ultimately, when someone is lukewarm about the love you have to offer, that's something you should know sooner rather than later. It puts the proverbial ball in your court, too. We need to value ourselves or no one else will. Heartbreak can help us choose better. And, by "choose better," I mean, choosing yourself.
When a partner asks you to overextend yourself in any way--to accept risks no one should have to accept--this individual does not have your best interests at heart. That's just the truth. It's a hard truth, I know, but a necessary one.
So, whatever caused the ending that created heartbreak, move forward with grace. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sorrow. Know that when you act with integrity, unconditional love will be both your shield and your guide. You can't protect yourself from pain, but you can protect yourself from future pain. Future heartache. And, that's important.
Stable people choose to invest time, energy and resources into developing a high-quality connection. When they see potential in a partner, they won't hesitate to move forward. Confident, secure folks know what they want and as a result, have the courage to go after it.
When someone is feeling confused, however, let them work it out on their own. You can express how their confusion makes you feel. But don't cut them off. Try to be supportive. Being supportive doesn't mean sacrificing yourself or your own needs. Maintain self-respect. Maintain decorum. If things turn around, you can communicate your needs at that time. Together. But if things don't manifest in your favour, let them know you appreciate their honesty and take the high road. Remain friends if you're both amenable--it's what healthy, stable, balanced people would (and should) do.
Heartbreak can teach you to level up in matters of love. Increasing your own stability will decrease toxicity in any future relationship. It doesn't mean toxicity won't evolve, but if you're both stable, you can diffuse any negatives much more quickly and easily.
When it comes to love, confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear. That confidence can and will lead you to a safe, secure commitment with an equal. There's really nothing better.