Thousands of readers visit this very blog each day, looking for answers on why the love of their life disappeared; I want you all to know that you are not alone. There is literally one-million years worth of evidence suggesting a plethora of people, just like you, suffered an unstable love relationship that ended in a traumatic way, yet somehow cycled back to reunion.
The bottom-line when it comes to real love?
If you are lucky enough to have it, do whatever it takes to keep it....
I try to pick out a few reader-questions about #TwinFlames when I can. Before we get to those questions, let me just issue a friendly reminder applicable to any person who wants real love:
The number one rule with all forms of love is to love yourself, first and foremost. You simply can't give or receive true love unless you feel it, too. That means clearing negatives like debt. It means making yourself available to seize love-opportunities by staying healthy, educating and improving your finances. Why? So you can be mobile. So you can support yourself and offer physical support to the person you love as well. If you are prepared for love, you will find it, cherish it, and keep it for a lifetime. It is when we are not prepared that things go awry.
On to our first question:
"Is #TwinFlame separation-sickness real?"
I've actually addressed this in a previous post. Anytime you lose a person you love, your health will suffer--#TwinFlame or not. You'd hope your #Twin would somehow "feel" it and come to you, but the problem with labeling any romance as a #TwinFlame union is that it comes with built-in expectations. Maybe you feel better about your circumstances if you believe yourself a #Twin because you know you're not alone, but that by no means implies that the person you love unconditionally is prepared to love you in the same way. Limiting yourself through labels is self-sabotage. If a person left you in the midst of a full-on love relationship that had progressed to sharing a dwelling and planning a family, that person is sick. That level of self-punishment isn't something that can be cured by reading an article in Cosmo either; it's connected to multiple psychological disorders. Sick people can heal, but that person has to first acknowledge the need to find a cure.
The difference between making a mistake and being sick?
A well person takes responsibility for their choices; a sick person doesn't. A well person may have run away out of fear but within a reasonable amount of time, usually a few days to a few weeks, will come back to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and try to repair the damage. A sick person will not take responsibility, even if they return. That return will be temporary if the offending individual uses justifications and/or lies to excuse their bad behavior...for example, "My dog died." Yeah, that's a real-life example and no, I'm not kidding. A third grader might say something similar about missing homework. Even if true, that's not a reason to pack your belongings and leave while your partner is 500 miles away and unaware. There is no reasonable reason for such behavior. That's why a person who acts that way is not well. However, mental illness does not excuse said behavior. Neither does applying the #TwinFlame label.
Anyone who leaves inevitably returns...it's just a matter of time. Sadly, that return may not be for pure reasons, especially after years have passed. But, if the person who ran away in the first place comes back eager and grateful, instead of desperate and vulnerable, there is hope.
Love yourself enough to be honest about your feelings for the person who left you behind. Don't dismiss them out of ego and pride, but don't accept more excuses and lies either. You do not owe the person who abandoned you anything. Not even closure. You're not a priest...you do not have to listen to their confession. Nor are you required to absolve them of their sins. The only reason for you to entertain even a single word from a person who left you for dead is because you have proof of their genuine sorrow, as well as their desire to say hello forever rather than just another goodbye.
On some level, we all want a fairy-tale ending for the love we know will be felt for a lifetime. If you ever get the chance to make that happen, don't hesitate. Don't play games. Don't be resentful. Don't be jealous. Make bliss your modus operandi and joy will follow, as long as you are both committed to maintaining that bliss, and, the resulting joy.
"Is permanent #TwinFlame reunion possible?"
With real love, anything is possible. I have read the same things you have--that #TwinFlame relationships are turbulent. But, that's not really true. Real love feels easy, even if it finds you unexpectedly. When it comes to love-relationships, if you've had a chance to date each other, maybe even live together, and it didn't work--it's really over. Twin Flame reunion is more about meeting someone unexpectedly and falling in love instantly. You don't yet have a relationship outside of the limited time you've spent together after being struck by that bolt of lightning. Whatever circumstances brought you together in the first place inevitably ends and you go back to your lives--distance or other life obligations temporarily separate you. However, the love persists, despite the lack of proximity or other obstacles blocking it (like social resistance from friends or family). At some future point, you manage to reconnect, now fully recognizing the depth of your feelings for one another and can take steps to remove whatever obstacles remain. That's more akin to reunion. Trying to revamp a failed relationship that was already well-developed through time and shared housing, maybe even marriage and children, is not healthy. That's not reunion--it's codependency. So is staying in a developed, long-term relationship where things repeatedly fail. Wanting to stay in a failing relationship is a sign that you are either a malignant or vulnerable narcissist. The malignant narcissist is at the top of the vertical relationship and wants to control the vulnerable narcissist--the vulnerable narcissist clings to victimhood to gain the malignant partner's approval. This typically happens when there is financial codependency as well. Neither partner can leave and remain whole, so staying in the relationship is something both consider necessary, even if completely unhealthy.
#TwinFlames are believed to come to Earth to help awaken unconditional love in themselves and others. But in order to awaken, we cannot live easy lives. Awakening starts because of pain. It can and will lead you to bliss, but in order to get to a point where you can awaken, you must first encounter resistance, difficulty. Evolution is like that. All change is like that. But change brings opportunity. Embrace the changes. It's part of your growth and will help you fulfill your soul-purpose. With or without your #Twin. If you are aware and your #Twin is not, it is your responsibility to continue the work you are here to do. You are not responsible for your #Twin. Keep working on your own happiness through self-love. It can take a few years to stop wailing in pain...but you will stop. You will heal. If you are what you believe yourself to be, you have wings. We angels-on-earth are not built for a lifetime of darkness. We are made of light, and eventually, we all remember that.
Let unconditional love of the self guide you. Compassion over judgment. Kindness over cruelty. Positives over negatives. Gratitude over attitude.
The caveat: Psychology shows that every human being on the planet operates on a want-system. In other words, if a person does something--good or bad--it is because they gain some reward for that particular behavior. All that really means is that we all do whatever it is we do because we want to. You may not think you want to binge on ice cream and gain weight. Or, put yourself in debt. Or, not work out. But you do want those things if you do them, it just may be on a subconscious level. You'll use justifications, blame-shifting to other people or circumstances beyond your control in order to excuse your own ineptitudes (I do it all the time...), but the fact remains that you are the only person who can control your own thoughts. That means, you are also the only person who can control your own behavior. Your actions. When you're ready to be honest with yourself, life will get a whole lot easier. Mainly because, you won't be standing in your own way.
"What do I do if I feel like my #TwinFlame is in jeopardy?"
Unless your #TwinFlame is your legal spouse, there's nothing you can do except check in. If you're not on speaking-terms, you can try to check in with a mutual friend or relative. But otherwise, even if you feel with every bone in your body that something is really wrong, unless your #Twin responds to your text or call, you can do nothing. Society doesn't yet recognize things like telepathy as anything more than fiction, something you see in movies or read about in comics. Of course, Harvard University researchers proved basic telepathy was real in 2014. So, you may well know that something isn't right, but unless that feeling is verified by your #Twin, all you can really do is send your #Twin positive energy, healing, renewal, strength, peace...and, pray.
In any love relationship that has ended, there will always be residual feelings. When there isn't, it wasn't real love. You may have been too young to know the difference, or simply did not yet acquire enough experience. Sometimes real love was lost because of a mistake via immaturity and/or inexperience. Years can go by where you both think of each other, but no one does anything to change the situation. If the person who made the initial mistake takes responsibility for their actions within a reasonable time frame, there's a chance for reconnecting. If not, the party who was left behind can only do their best to move on. I can't tell you it will be easy or that you will one day forget. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other until it doesn't hurt as much anymore. It's sad when a lack of communication takes over real love. But if you have been receptive to communication, reached out, and, nothing happens, you can do nothing more. Except what I recommend above: Pray...and, move on. Don't wait for someone who is unavailable. You're setting yourself up for a future codependency. That's not real love.
Life isn't infinite. We all die. We want to die looking into the eyes of the people we love, but we don't always get what we want because we want it. There are no guarantees in this world. So, if you feel connected to a person so deeply that, even after years, you still love that individual, you can try to make contact. But not if you abused that person. If you did anything that required police involvement, you need to stay away forever. Twin flames may hurt each other emotionally--but if a man or woman has physically hurt you, stalked you, or tried to harm you or your property in any way, that person is not your twin. Move on. Real love protects you--it doesn't make you weak, keep you weak, or wish for you to be weak. That's just the truth. Not terribly romantic, but you don't need drama to create romance. Drama derives from a victim-mentality. You don't need victims in your life.You need people who are strong and intelligent. That's who will love you with loyalty, kindness, compassion, and be your supporter through life's ups and downs.