It’s been so long, I hardly remember the feeling myself. Just wispy, ethereal fragments. Thin. Fragile. Nearly transparent.
The masks we wear are many. We spend more time thinking about love than effectively acting on it.
Quite tragic really. We aren't fuckable forever, you know. Ironically, that’s the very fear that holds us back from pursuing our passion.
We set ourselves on courses long before we’ve mapped out our route in an attempt to secure companionship for the long journey ahead. How very sad. We miss so much when we partner young. We don’t know it…until later. But by then, we may feel it’s “too late” to make up for all the loss, and, lost time.
Time is the one commodity we can never obtain more of.
That is the very reason I’m writing this essay—to remind those of you who are awake to stop dawdling. Whatever it is that is stopping you from the pursuit of passionate love, please, I beg you, put away those fears.
You will one day see (perhaps too late) how stopping yourself from having warmth, love and light in your life was, indeed, self-sabotage.
Yes, probably early in your childhood, someone reinforced the idea that love isn’t real, can’t be trusted and should be avoided at all costs. The message that love is not worth it…that, we are not worth it, was conveyed. Subtly. Sadly. And, silently. Hence, any broken heart you’ve ever endured.
So today, I ask every pair of eyes reading these words to think and think deeply. To be honest, at least with yourself. Ask what you really want—besides money. Who embodies that love and passion for you? If you can answer that question, then drop everything right now and go. Go to that person. Tell them how you feel. And, for fuck’s sake, make it happen!
If you have yet to find your embodiment of passionate love, what are you waiting for???
We may have many lifetimes but you only live this particular one once. If you anticipate problems with any relationship where love is present, you are self-sabotaging.
All fear-based decisions are reactive. Reactive choices are not real choices--they are merely fear-responses to environmental stimuli. Yet, you are not a plant. You are not a vegetable. You are not an insect. Well, some of you may be dung beetles in human suits, what do I know. But if you are currently wearing a human suit, use that complex brain and those ingenious opposable thumbs outside of the fekkin’ hamster wheel you’ve been duped into (endlessly) spinning. Use it to find love, earn love and keep love…until death do you part.
And please, STOP GIVING LOVE AWAY.
STOP SABOTAGING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS (and, the happiness of those connected to you).
Who we are ONLY matters because of love. You think that your children will hate you for choosing love? You think your family and friends will shun you? Disown you? Make fun of you???
People will always envy those with the courage to act, and act effectively. Your family and friends say “no” when your soul is screaming “yes, yes, yes!”? That’s when something called “soft boundaries” are really, really important to implement.
Listen, no one but you has to live with the consequences of denying yourself the love you both want and need. Look around you. Is everyone telling you “no” happy themselves? Are they with a partner? Do they give you say over their lives???
Regardless of the answers to the questions above, every single one of us has one job, and one job only—to stay in our own lane. We can’t control others. We can only control our own thoughts. Our own feelings. And, our own behaviours. Yes, we need people to survive the world, but there are 7 billion of us. If the folks around you are stopping you from having happiness, love, joy, success, and outright miracles in your life, you don’t need them in your life anymore. Find better people. Find those who will not hold you back or down. Who will not require vertical relationships. Or, codependencies. For once, choose you. When you do, you also choose love.
One day, I will find it—the love AND passion AND in a package that includes fearless loyalty, fierce friendship and the energy to sustain both for decades to come. I am the Sun. I am light, love and infinite energy. And, I will not settle for anything or anyone less than that very same fiery magic in and all around me.
Learn who you are and what you want. Then, never stop looking until you find it.
Be savage for yourself. Be a warrior for your own cause. Fight for you. Fight for what you both want and need. And never, ever stop. Keep going! Stay uplifted!!! It will happen for you—that lifelong passionate love.
You have to have faith that if you exist (and, you do…), then, so must your equal. Let your soul send out its beacon and call in that person. In the meantime, get out there! Walk the Earth until you find them. Yes, the pandemic may make the pursuit of lifelong love and passion a smidge harder, but so what…you’re worth it.
Shall we repeat that once again? Say it with me now—loud and proud:
I. AM. WORTH. IT.
Yes, yes you are.