You meet someone and feel an instant connection. You may choose to continue to talk to them after you meet, but when you feel that connection, it's not something you can do much about. It's a magnetic pull. You're almost helpless to do anything against it. Like being compelled.
You know almost from the moment you meet your person that they are meant for you--even if you're too cautious to admit it for a month or so. But the person you connect with usually knows, too. The relationship then becomes very close very quickly as a result. It's called chemistry. And it pretty much rocks.
Chemistry isn't something you can fake. When you have it, you feel an electricity. It's almost like coming to life and breathing for the first time. You'll find yourself wondering if it's magic or a miracle or some kind of cosmic gift. And you're not entirely sure you deserve it. But as you're lucky enough to have it, you choose to ride the wave as long as the other person does the same. Not that you can even imagine life without them. It's unthinkable if the love is real.
Sometimes, though, love can get muddled by life. Especially if you meet in the middle. Other social obligations will always pull you in the opposite direction. While everyone wants to be in love, there are still haters out there. Especially those you may be leaving behind after connecting so succinctly with another soul. So when it happens for you, you'll find jealousy crops up, too. And suddenly, you're in the midst of a social storm. Why??? Because you're happy. It's that simple.
No one and nothing should matter more than the real love and the two people in it. Falling in love is easy if you have a connection. It's real life that challenges real love. When there's social and/or familial conflicts with your new happiness--and there inevitably will be--it can cause artificial doubts in one or the other person. It's real love, so the doubter has no actual doubts there. The doubts have to do with the other people in their world. People like family, friends pose questions for that very reason under the premise of care. But you can't let bullies influence you or talk you out of what's the best thing to ever happen to you. Because, when you begin to prioritize anything else over your love, you're going to lose it. And not for a good reason.
The only good reason to lose real love is physical death. Everything else is just an excuse to sabotage your own happiness. And for what??? To make other people happy? No one should ask that of you. To give up your happiness. Because, when a soul exists who believes in you enough to give you real love, by virtue of their love, you deserve it. No matter what.
When you find yourself questioning love, ask yourself what preceded those questions. Did your lover betray you or your love? If it's real, it's highly unlikely. Perhaps you're just reacting to fear and anxiety seeping in thanks to well-meaning (or not-so-well meaning) social connections. Either way, you should always be loyal to the real love, because it's real. Talk to your lover about your concerns. Never make a unilateral decision.
The moment you connect with another person, you become "we." You wake up together. You go to sleep together. You play together. You work toward shared goals together. Then you should also discuss any feelings or concerns or events together, too. Communication is the easiest, best way to solve almost any problem. That is, if you want to solve it. If you don't, you'll decide the relationship's course on your own. You will not talk to your lover, effectively ending the relationship. But not the connection. Not if it's real.
You thought it would just disappear over time. That you'd forget. Or, your lover would. But that's not how real love works. You'll never forget the person you truly connect with. Never. It doesn't mean you won't move on. Or, be happy again. You'll just never be as happy, as joyful, or as peaceful with anyone else. You'll find other people attractive. You'll even enjoy their company. But your lover is your person, whether or not you're brave enough to stick with it and stand fast against the social scrutiny you've encountered (aka jealousy).
Many, many times, people who are truly in love get separated by life, but end up crossing paths again. You'll just find each other somehow. You see, the Universe doesn't take kindly to real love being pushed aside. Now, when that happens, the person left behind may not be ready to face real love again. Because she's still in love with the one who left. And it's too great of a risk to face your lover if he only wants to say another version of goodbye, and not hello forever. This kind of serendipity doesn't really apply to married couples. When a schism happens there, a plethora of outside reasons are ultimately why a couple who separates decides to stay married—and almost none have to do with real love.
Married couples who separate typically have to deal with dividing up shared investments, retirement accounts, businesses, property, and/or the custody and support of young children. The expense of divorce in such circumstances is daunting and can run from $10,000-$25,000 or more. The cost alone may be enough for a married couple to ultimately remain married. Or, reunite even after divorce. But if there are no shared investments, businesses, property, or custody issues, divorce is straightforward. Most states have adopted "no fault" laws or "irreconcilable differences," so even in the event of something like an affair, splitting assets is 50/50. That means that when there are no assets or young children, there's nothing to contest. Or at least, there shouldn't be.
If one half of a married couple is financially dependent on the other, however, it can complicate things. Whoever earns more money is generally required to pay what is typically referred to as maintenance for an extended period of time--usually about half of the total number of years married. But if neither individual earns much, there's really nothing to deter an uncontested divorce. Especially if the person not earning as much as the other re/educates, finds new employment, and/or an alternate source of income and support. That kind of change may be intimidating, but when real love is on the other side of those efforts, it's well-worth it. You may feel like you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven, but Heaven offers a lifetime of beauty, joy, peace, love, and happiness. What's a year or so of difficulty in the face of that???
No matter what obstacles block your path to real love, if you have found it--that one person out of the seven-billion on the planet who gets you, who finds you beautiful inside and out, who supports your dreams, who makes you feel alive--fight for it. And fight hard.
Despite new science and technology that can extend human life, life itself is still short. Especially if you meet your person in the middle. Which is when true love usually hits. Because you've lived long enough to recognize it. Because you've lived long enough to know a good thing when you see it. And, because, when you see your person for the first time, you simply say, "It's really you," and the two of you find yourself in each other's arms a second later. Six hours after that moment, you realize neither of you have let go. When that happens, it's the real deal. If you ever experience what I just described, please, don't ever let it go. Because it's not something you'll get again. Not like that.
Whatever problems face your real love, as long as the two lovers remain true to each other, there is nothing they can't overcome. Nothing. Because the Universe is not cruel. You will not find the love of your life only to lose everything else. It's not how it works. The two of you are a team and, through trust, can build whatever you need or want or can possibly dream of from there. It's one of the many benefits. You both become stronger together. An unstoppable force. Even when bad things happen, you have each other. And that's so much more valuable than having a million dollars in the bank. In fact, it's priceless.
I used to dream of that kind of love, thinking it only possible in the movies or on television. But it isn't a fairy tale. It's real. And it's worth every effort. Worth every moment of pain. Worth fighting to keep. Even when it sometimes feels like a losing battle....
Cherish real love. And cherish the person who made your personal miracle possible. The miracle of opening your heart. The miracle of believing in another so much, you want to marry everything you have and everything you are to them. You want to bring your two souls together and create more. You want to be cosmically connected for lifetimes. You also want to be better. No matter what it takes. Because you want to create a better life for your love, for yourself, and for your shared future.
Yup. That's real love. And the sex with real love ain't bad either....