When the love-bullet pierces your heart, you can't get out of the way fast enough. Nothing hurts as much as lost love, except perhaps the rejection that precedes it. Even though it feels like you've been sucker-punched, when you start to breath again, hit the RESET button.
If someone broke your heart this summer (or anytime throughout the year), grieve for the loss. You have to. When you care about another person and that person is no longer there, it's very lonely. And sad. Your chest softly clenches causing a sensation that goes deep into your stomach. Your eyes are blurry from all the tears so it's hard to see that blinking red button begging to be pushed. But it's still there.
RESET doesn't mean go backwards. It means MOVE FORWARD. I will say this one time, so listen closely: If another person was careless with your love, they DID NOT DESERVE IT (or you!) in the first place. But you do. You deserve love. From someone who will appreciate all the wonderful things you have to offer. The person who broke your heart? An ingrate. And gratitude is necessary in order for someone to have the other extremely important love-component: Eagerness.
When we are grateful for having love in our lives, we are also eager to do and say things that support the person who loves us. That's how it works. There are no unilateral decisions. You share your bodies, your minds, your resources, your money, your time, and your energy. Even your bed. Likely your bathroom, too. You share memories, food, family, and friends. But sometimes, one person makes a decision that is not shared, for reasons that are also rather individual. There are many situations in which this occurs, so there's no one-size-fits-all answer. But no matter the reason, the person being rejected, the one left behind, has to somehow pick up the pieces of their broken heart. Not an easy feat. Which means, it's time to reset!
Jewish philosophy discusses how, at least one complete 24-hour period out of 365 days, a person should meditate on projecting light into the next 364 ahead. A broken heart echoes disappointment, anger, frustration, loneliness, sadness, and isolation. If this has happened to you, take one day--from sundown one night to sundown the next--and do not eat. Drink only water. Meditate. You can relive the last year a little. Indulge in your lost love. Look closely though if you do. Who was that person, really? If the individual cut you out of his/her life, no matter how much you loved them, that person is just not right for you. And I am truly, madly, and deeply sorry you had to learn this fact in such a painful way. But now that you know the hard-truth, project light into your future. What do I mean by "projecting light"? Imagine new possibilities, new friends, new activities, like travel, and yes, new love. Infuse those visions with joy, with cheer, with fun, with playfulness, with laughter, with great sex, and of course, with love. In other words, project light.
You are lovable. And when you project light into the next year of your life, you will attract the RIGHT PERSON. The wrong one is gone. And believe it or not, you will be thankful for it. You dodged a bullet. Like Neo. No red or blue pills needed. No Agent Smith to thwart your efforts. You can start fresh, a new adventure. One that will be 100-times greater than the last. Because when you take your first step, you have already moved your life forward. One-step closer to REAL LOVE, leaving THE DUMMY (as in, an empty shell, but the other definition undoubtedly applies, too) behind. Where he or she belongs.
You will break your fast with a light meal (think hearty salad or soup) at the end of the 24 hours. After properly hydrating, go to bed early. You may have strange dreams that night, but try to write down as many as you can remember the next morning. There will be clues about your year ahead you may want to refer back to. Next, write a TO-DO list and put FALL IN LOVE at the very top. Because even though it can bring pain, in the end, #LOVE always wins. You will, too, when you hit the RESET button on your life.
Whoever it is who broke your heart, let that person be the keeper of his or her own misery. You are now free. To find what you deserve. Is real #LOVE like the mythical unicorn, an impossible dream? Absolutely not.
Because you exist, so does your other half. They're waiting. Now, go find them....