I give #love but don't always get it back with consistency. Am I not good enough? Not pretty enough? Not smart enough? Not funny enough? No, despite the claw-like scars on my body, I'm not the one who is damaged. Humans are. Fear rules their world. But because I have kept company with Death for 24 years, no one rules mine but me. It sets me apart. Makes me different, even when I look like everyone else.
Along with big pieces of my heart, my baby girl is gone. I would have been due in the next month or so if shock hadn't sent me into what was essentially early labor. My other child is gone as well. He's a grown man now; I was all of 17 the first time I became pregnant. Much followed. Including #Bob.
#Love may conquer all, but that doesn't mean what you think it does. Only took me 27 years to learn that. But at least I learned, even if I was slow of study....
Speaking of #love, cancer has been my paramour three times in 24 years. Doctors pried my skull open three times, too. I lost the use of my left leg as a result and my immune system has never fully recovered. How do you stay sane after physicians "treat" you with toxic chemicals for a year, telling you in 20 you'll likely get Leukemia? And, the secondary cancer isn't anything to be too concerned about...your prognosis says you'll die in two years anyway. Fourteen later, not only am I still here, I've had the opportunity to experience scorn and degradation in new and imaginative ways.
I went to college full time while surviving multiple cancer diagnoses, running a household, raising my son, coaching sports, volunteering, being a room parent, and, working. Amidst it all, I managed to achieve the highest level of degree known to man. I've also published 11 books in nine languages (now sold in 30 countries, including China) and written over 200 articles and essays on everything from superheroes to poker to narrative medicine. I even earned 11 teaching award nominations for excellence, receiving five. But my accomplishments were kept in the shadows. The #Karma for which thrust me into the spotlight.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction....
The year 2015 kicked off with a #bang as multiple arrows careened into my Atlanta home. The primary suspect? A psychotic stranger who had been cyber-stalking me, breaking into my home when I wasn't there, and parking in front of it when I was. Police mentioned the criminal was also a defendant in a recent wrongful death case. Yup. That happened. And, when I hired people to come repair the damage, one of the repairmen made a pass at me. To the extent where I had to knee him in the chest to get him off my exhausted body. All of it occurring mere weeks after I lost my baby. Luckily, the Grim Reaper and I have been braiding each other's hair for decades. Takes more than...well, all of the above, to make me flinch. Although, I'm likely just numb after the last two-and-a-half decades.
No matter what has happened to me, I am not a piece of furniture to be moved about hither and tither. I've got errands that need to be run. Not exactly a bucket list--more like professional goals I'm suddenly very close to achieving. I want to leave a legacy, not climb K2. Though, admittedly, I wouldn't mind jumping out of a moving plane before finally going home.
We only suffer when we submit to #Fate, like cattle on a moving train headed to the slaughter house. #Destiny is different. #Destiny is a choice.
#Done
Along with big pieces of my heart, my baby girl is gone. I would have been due in the next month or so if shock hadn't sent me into what was essentially early labor. My other child is gone as well. He's a grown man now; I was all of 17 the first time I became pregnant. Much followed. Including #Bob.
#Love may conquer all, but that doesn't mean what you think it does. Only took me 27 years to learn that. But at least I learned, even if I was slow of study....
Speaking of #love, cancer has been my paramour three times in 24 years. Doctors pried my skull open three times, too. I lost the use of my left leg as a result and my immune system has never fully recovered. How do you stay sane after physicians "treat" you with toxic chemicals for a year, telling you in 20 you'll likely get Leukemia? And, the secondary cancer isn't anything to be too concerned about...your prognosis says you'll die in two years anyway. Fourteen later, not only am I still here, I've had the opportunity to experience scorn and degradation in new and imaginative ways.
I went to college full time while surviving multiple cancer diagnoses, running a household, raising my son, coaching sports, volunteering, being a room parent, and, working. Amidst it all, I managed to achieve the highest level of degree known to man. I've also published 11 books in nine languages (now sold in 30 countries, including China) and written over 200 articles and essays on everything from superheroes to poker to narrative medicine. I even earned 11 teaching award nominations for excellence, receiving five. But my accomplishments were kept in the shadows. The #Karma for which thrust me into the spotlight.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction....
The year 2015 kicked off with a #bang as multiple arrows careened into my Atlanta home. The primary suspect? A psychotic stranger who had been cyber-stalking me, breaking into my home when I wasn't there, and parking in front of it when I was. Police mentioned the criminal was also a defendant in a recent wrongful death case. Yup. That happened. And, when I hired people to come repair the damage, one of the repairmen made a pass at me. To the extent where I had to knee him in the chest to get him off my exhausted body. All of it occurring mere weeks after I lost my baby. Luckily, the Grim Reaper and I have been braiding each other's hair for decades. Takes more than...well, all of the above, to make me flinch. Although, I'm likely just numb after the last two-and-a-half decades.
No matter what has happened to me, I am not a piece of furniture to be moved about hither and tither. I've got errands that need to be run. Not exactly a bucket list--more like professional goals I'm suddenly very close to achieving. I want to leave a legacy, not climb K2. Though, admittedly, I wouldn't mind jumping out of a moving plane before finally going home.
We only suffer when we submit to #Fate, like cattle on a moving train headed to the slaughter house. #Destiny is different. #Destiny is a choice.
#Done
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