Let's begin with March, as we're in mid-January already. If you've been to the movies at all during the holiday season, chances are good you've seen the trailers for upcoming flicks this month and next, like Haywire--which looks AMAZING by the way and was listed as on of TRIBECA's top picks for January 2012. Steven Soderbergh directed...and has directed a number of upcoming flicks for 2012, including Channing Tatum's film, loosely based on his own life, MAGIC MIKE--which is scheduled for release in June, and has Tatum and Alex Pettyfer (I AM NUMBER FOUR) practically naked for the majority of the film. So is it any good? Who cares??? Channing Tatum. Naked. Nuff said.
Remember how Johnny Depp made it big? It was a late 80's television "crime" drama called 21 JUMPSTREET. The show was really just a venue for hopeful tall, dark, and handsome actors. Depp got lucky. Of course, he's talented, too. That helped. Now, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs co-directors, Chris Miller and Phil Lord head up another silly caricature, minus the animated meatballs. Though there's no telling what may happen on screen; Jonah Hill is co-starring in this 80's remix. Hill's silly persona is off-set by Channing Tatum's solid presence. Worth the price of admission if you're nostalgic for the 1980's, or, if you're hoping to see Tatum shirtless before Magic Mike premieres in June. The film opens on March 16th.
Globes Gossip: Tatum, whose Native American heritage contributes to his good looks, and his wife of seven years, Jenna Dewan, practically glowed on the red rug. Tatum gushed about his goddess in green, discussing how his wife clocked him in the face while teaching her about on-screen fight scenes. You go, girl! Cute couple. Makes me want to go to every movie Channing Tatum stars in from now on. His abs may have something to do with it, too...maybe. Tatum is also in pre-production on a GI Joe sequel, GI JOE: RETALIATION, reprising his role as Duke. You can see Tatum in HAYWIRE this month and a definite Valentine's Day flick, THE VOW, with Rachel McAdams, being released on February 10th.
Competing for box-office dollars on March 16th is MIRROR MIRROR, directed by Tarsem Singh and starring Julia Roberts. This fairytale adaptation of Snow White, the first of TWO for 2012 (the second stars Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron, opening in June), also stars Taylor Lautner's flame, Lilly Collins (ABDUCTION). Basically, the film is more of a story about not getting your mommy's approval, no matter how hard you try, or how innocent you look.
THE HUNGER GAMES, the adaptation of Suzanne Collins' wildly popular YA novel series, hits silver screens on March 23rd. Gary Ross directs and Jennifer Lawrence (X-MEN: FIRST CLASS) and Josh Hutcherson (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT) star as competing teens in a weird apocalyptic totalitarian dystopia...disturbing enough for you? Ross says that it was even weirder on set, seeing kids next to all these deadly weapons. Sounds like a light-hearted pre-spring jaunt. No? Well, I tried.
April's got a few fun flicks, like THE THREE STOOGES and an AMERICAN PIE reunion, aptly named AMERICAN REUNION. Oh, and TITANIC will be re-released in early Aprill as well...in 3-D. Sigh.
Not gonna lie--just thinking of May's movies gets me wet. Girl-wood! Am I allowed to say that??? The thing is, it's true. THE AVENGERS opens on May 4th. Hello?!?! The Pop Culture Professor is one of the pioneering female scholars in the States to look at comic books as more than just a bunch of "low-culture" entertaining scribbles. And, the film is written and directed by--wait a sec, gotta get a towel--Joss Whedon!!! My geek-heart be still.... Fellow brain tumor survivor, Mark Ruffalo plays the Hulk; RDJ is back as Iron Man; ScarJo plays Black Widow; Hawkeye is Jeremy Renner and vice-versa; Chris Evans continues to play the Cap; and last but never least is Aussie-talent, Chris Hemsworth as Thor. Yeah, I'm totally unobjective about this movie. Don't trust a thing I say. Because if it were up to me, it would be mandatory for every American citizen to see this movie in order to maintain citizenship. Yup, I'm THAT passionate about it. Wooh. Was it as good for you as it was for me??? Probably not. Awkward. Moving on....
Johnny Depp and Tim Burton team up again for what should be a fun romp down memory lane, an adaptation of DARK SHADOWS, opening on May 11th. And where would Depp and Burton be without Helena Bonham Carter? She plays the part of the female doctor, in this version, a psychiatrist, while the always beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer is one of Barnabas Collins' descendants. Chloe Grace Moritz (LET ME IN and KICK ASS), one of The Pop Culture Professor's favs, also joins the star-studded cast. Even more fun? The screenplay was penned by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of 2010's Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.(which hits theatres in June, btw). I'm pretty psyched for this Gothic remake. You should be, too!
Globes Gossip: The DARK SHADOWS comic book based on the original television series is getting a facelift with a fresh face, Mike Raicht, newcomer to the series, but not to comics (Raicht has contributed to Wolverine, X-Men and other Marvel comics as well as the graphic novel series,THE STUFF OF LEGEND). The first storyline by Raicht promises a potential "cure" for Barnabas...so stay tuned! You can see Raicht in person at GraniteCon this June.
More Globes Gossip: Helena Bonham Carter is playing Miss Haversham in an adaptation of GREAT EXPECTATIONS directed by Mike Newell. Word on the red rug is that the flick will hit theatres in fall. And, that Bonham Carter is as crazy as ever...just the way we like her!
May 18th sees Taylor Kitsch in BATTLESHIP, an adaptation of the once-popular board game. Hey, if PIRATES of the CARIBBEAN can turn a corny carney ride into box office gold, who knows???
Rounding out the start of the summer box office season is (yet another) MEN IN BLACK film...number three in the franchise. Josh Brolin plays a young-version of what was formerly Tommy Lee Jones' role. Will Smith promised fans after WILD WILD WEST that he wouldn't make bad movies again. Disappointed! But like WWW, MIBIII will make millions and Josh Brolin's gotta do something to avoid being mistaken as George W. Bush, or, cast in a second Jonah Hex movie.... The film opens on May 25th.
June. The real summer blockbusters begin. On Cruise-control is ROCK OF AGES, starring Tom Cruise as rocker Stacee Jaxx in an effort directed by Adam Shankman. And Tomcat can really sing! See it on June 1st. Sharing the opening day is SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, the second of two Snow White flicks of 2012--but for my money, this is the one to make box office gold. Charlize Theron plays the evil queen; Kristen Stewart is Snow; and Chris Hemsworth is a dishy, if not conflicted, Huntsman. Rupert Sanders makes his epic directorial debut on June 1st. This sinister film will be worth the price of admission.
Globes Gossip: Kristen Stewart dropped Hemsworth like a big, blonde sack of potatoes during rehearsal of a fight scene! Girl power? Hell's yeah!!!
June 8th sees PROMETHEUS open, an ALIENS pre-quel by, you guessed it--Ridley Scott. If you're of the same opinion as I am, you'll love this fictionalized account of who spawned humanity...oops. I wasn't supposed to say that. Sorry, Mr. Scott. That was Globes Gossip that shouldn't have left the coatroom!
June 22nd is a shared premiere of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER and Pixar's 13th film but first featuring a strong female hero, the well-named, BRAVE. See them both, then, see BRAVE a second and third time. It ROCKS! Brenda Chapman and Mark Andrews share BRAVE directorial credit. HBO's Boardwalk Empire actor, Kelly McDonald, voices the BRAVE-star.
July's got the usual run-of the mill superhero flick's, starting with a new THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF SPIDER-MAN on July 3rd and ending with the last of the Dark Knight movies, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, with Christian Bale as an equally dark, angst-ridden Bruce Wayne.
August 2012 sees THE AVENGERS Hawkeye, Jeremy Renner, in the latest Bourne flick, THE BOURNE LEGACY and Collin Farrell starring in a remake of TOTAL RECALL, both opening on August 3rd. 7500, directed by Takashi Shimizu, opens on August 31st; True Blood's insanely adorable Ryan Kwanten stars in this horrible horror of a movie, taking place mainly on an airplane crossing the Pacific. But don't worry, there won't be any snakes on this plane.
The biggest haps in September is a re-release on the 14th of FINDING NEMO, in, you guessed it--3D. Double sigh. And, another Taylor Kitsch film co-starring Gossip Girl, Blake Lively, in SAVAGES on September 28th.
Other flicks include to-be-annouonced fall releases of GREAT EXPECTATIONS with Bonham Carter and Keira Knightley as ANNA KARENINA, an adaptation of the classic novel by acclaimed Russian writer, Leo Tolstoy.
One of the biggest fall pre-holiday season releases is happening on November 7th. SKYFALL, the 23rd Bond flick, stars Daniel Craig losing faith with M, played by Dame Judi Dench.
Globes Gossip: Dishy Javier Bardem is playing the bad, bad boy (very bad!) and Albert Finney and Ralph Fiennes also star in super-secret agent roles. Sam Mendes directs his first Bond film in the 50-year old franchise. Fiennes makes his own directorial debut in this month's CORIOLANUS, a Shakespearean adaptation in which he also stars.
Not that it needs any sort of mention, but BREAKING DAWN II opens on November 16th, the final film in the TWILIGHT franchise. GRAVITY ironically follows starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock...in space, and, in 3-D. More sighing ensues. But, Alfonso Cuaron's directing. And, it's George. Clooney. Mmm-hmmm.
LES MISRABLES opens the December literary adaptation season with Hugh Jackman and Dark Knight alum, Anne Hathaway. Baz Luhrmann directs Leo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan in THE GREAT GATSBY, but ten days before on the 14th, audiences get to see Peter Jackson's long-awaited, THE HOBBIT. Speilberg will surprise audiences in December with a yet-to-be-announced LINCOLN starring Daniel Day-Lewis, about Abe Lincoln as the 16th President...NOT as a vampire hunter. Ang Lee directs LIFE OF PI, an adaptation of a 2001 novel by Yann Martel, the hit of all women's book groups that year, opening December 21st. The same day, audiences can skip down to see Brad Pitt fighting...zombies? WORLD WAR Z competes with the Apatow family film project, THIS IS 40...40-year olds everywhere should avoid this film like the plague or risk puking up your milestone birthday carrot cake from that swanky little bakery in Haight-Ashbury.
But wait! The saving grace for this holiest of holy movie seasons is from film-Jesus, Quentin Tarantino, with his Christmas gift to the world--the reason for the season--DJANGO UNCHAINED, starring Jamie Foxx as a 19th century slave-turned-bounty-hunter in Mississippi. DJANGO opens on December 25th.
Naughty, or nice, I'll see you all at the movies in 2012!