Mortals are dangerous, even to gods. Last year, I wore an emerald-encrusted horn and diamond ankh and was loved well by the well-horned. I was worshipped. Adored. This time, the Australian opal and pink sapphire did nothing to help, outside of acting as evidence of prophecy: 29 stones set around the rock that represents October? I chose it three months before a man born on that date chose me. Aboriginal Dreamtime is quite real. Australia is part of my history. So is the desert. That's where scorpions live.
The King of Cups...you feel so far away. 3,196 miles, to be exact. You are peace. Peace, with secrets. That’s okay though. I have secrets, too.
Broken bones can mend, heal. But broken hearts? Not so easy to fix....
The Knight of Wands looked like a shell of his former self. Like me, he is a god walking amidst men. Unlike me, he doesn’t know it.
Though heaven shines in my eyes, my smile, and from my golden lochs, I am still human in this lifetime. And so, ego and pride are still my bedfellows.
The cards told me I’d make a mistake and would have to live with the consequences. Why is it that karma follows so close on my heels? How can murderers and abusers and molesters walk the earth unscathed, yet I, I am the road less traveled by???
I knew I needed the ankh. But I talked myself out of what humans consider “superstition” and “magical thinking,” and all while being made of magic myself...is there any greater irony?
Do you know what it’s like to be something other than you appear? Certain people see it, even if they don’t fully understand what they see. Understandable, given that you yourself can forget who you are. Fooled by your own disguise.
Yes, I am always a fool, especially for love. I search and search and search. For nearly five decades (and 500,000-years-worth of other lifetimes). Humanity has so much potential. But violence is their fall-back position. I have the x-rays to prove it.
Why are humans so fascinated by monotheism? Violence. Gives an excuse to perpetuate it. How can one be entangled in physical existence yet still not understand the need for a mother and a father??? The ankh--she represents our mother. Not just the mother of the gods, but of us all.
Constantine changed the world. His parents were twin flames. Some of the oldest on record. Everything he did, he did for his mother. He now pays his karmic debt as a caricature...a comic book figure. Tormented by demons. And, cancer.
Humans are in their infancy. Like over-confident children eager to grow up, hubris is their calling card.
The scan showed a mass...when the PA said, “It’s not cancer,” I asked him why he felt the need to bring that up:
”Well, because cancer research is your area.”
Is it??? I’ve forgotten. I speak so many languages now that it all gets jumbled in my head. But the memory of the car door being slammed on my leg--the thing that caused the blood vessels deep within my bone tissue to burst and create a weakness--that I remember all-too well.
Men follow similar patterns, regardless of their packaging. They bruise your ego, your breasts, your bones. Try to break as much of you as possible into as many pieces as possible. Fracture families, finances and fiscal responsibilities. Yet somehow, they always manage to walk away whole. Not the case for the fairer sex, I'm afraid. We're made to look "crazy" or "negative" or "bitter" when we express the obvious inequity...almost laughable to have heard the same thing from so many different male mouths over the decades. As if they each believe themselves unique. Like every other man who flirts with me before revealing they are attached--that list is so long now, I've actually lost count. Yet every single man on it starts with lies before trying to enlist me in their deceit, saying, "I just want to be honest."
Really? Because you were being manipulative and misleading just a few seconds ago...why stop now??? Ah, you want me to shoulder some of the responsibility, too? Sure...why not??? It's a great offer. I'd be crazy not to take it. It's not like I'm movie-star gorgeous with killer tits, a smile that could melt the polar ice caps, and have an unmatched sense of adventure--plus, all the educational and professional accolades. Clearly, yours is the best offer I can ever hope to get.
What languages do you speak? I hope empathy, kindness and compassion are among them. Buddhists find hope a weakness. Sometimes, I do, too. Hope is more of a delusion to help one keep moving ahead, despite the growing body of evidence that moving forward only brings you closer to more pain. And, of course, Death. There are rare exceptions. And I'm one of them.
When you’re “troubles” are Irish, no one is allowed to rewrite your history. But if you’re Jewish, a cold face twists in its own stoney visage to come observe you like an animal in the zoo. Tell you your story is different somehow. As if poking you with a big stick at a safe distance.
Only cowards are eager to face a lion in a cage....
Every lifetime is etched in my DNA. You are not superior because you have only lived one. Far from it. I am older, wiser, and frankly, more polite. Even when someone breaks my bones, I have to rise above. But just once, I’d enjoy delivering a shocking retort...although, my words can be measured like a thousand tiny knives slicing into the skin. A lion on the outside, but a scorpion within. And yet, I have never broken anyone's bones before. That kind of primitive violence is saved for the weak.
Of all I have learned in this lifetime, my disdain for cowardice is the most profound. Courage, however, that’s a rarity. A unique gift I will always reward with loyalty and friendship.
That’s what our mother--the ankh--really represents: Consistency. There’s nothing special about being immortal. We just know how to make friends, keep friends, and be friends. We’re good lovers, too. Only narcissistic fools try to control the grace of the gods.
That's perhaps my best advice yet....