Better put the kids to bed, because things are about to get rated "M" for "Mature," and I'm not talking about water-boarding in GTA....
Valentine's Day is the one day each year that celebrates couplehood. Holding hands, sunset strolls, red roses, romantic dinners, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates...frankly, it's enough to make anyone puke. Especially if you're single. Luckily, dating sites abound in the 21st century--so even if you find yourself single this season, there's hope!
Did you know there are dating sites that match people based on religion, pet-peeves, beard-preference...heck, there's even a site specifically for women who want to date men with a seven-inch *ahem* (or bigger...)???
Yeah, it's for real. And, thank the tech-gawds for that! Along with other convenient apps that make meeting people of like-minds (and bodies) a reality. Well, at least, a virtual one.
There's no shame in using a dating site to find your soul-mate. Maybe you don't feel comfortable asking that cute guy and/or girl at the gym out on a date. Perhaps the club scene isn't your scene. Bar-hopping is fun, but it's a grind. Coffee houses are great as a first meeting place, but not as a place to meet people--unless you're into soccer moms. That's why sites like Tinder, Grindr, OKCupid, and Match.com exist. But of all the dating sites and all the many gimmicks they offer, not one helps a prospective couple get cooking in the kitchen...until now.
"Man In Kitchen" is an app that is so new, you likely won't see it until next Valentine's Day. While the app will be tested in the Los Angeles area to start, the creators have plans to spread the love all over the States, and eventually, around the world.
What makes "Man In Kitchen" different?
If you've used a dating site before, you know that it's really about posting as many *hawt* pics as possible. Then, the messages come pouring in. In my research, I found that a few good pics can render an average of 10-12 messages from prospective dates per hour. Hey, when it comes to attracting a potential mate, there's no reason not to show off whatever assets you may have. Tease. Titillate. Let imaginations run wild. And, while you'll get plenty of dates if you follow my advice, you may not be getting what you really want:
Sure, it's fun to swipe right and find a boy-toy (or five...). But, what happens on days like today--Valentine's Day? You just want to snuggle up on the couch, binge watch Kimmy Schmidt, and have someone who will not be leaving after sex pay for the Thai take-out. Instead, you find yourself paying for your own take-out after your vibrator runs out of batteries (again!) while blocking yet another number from another dating-dead-end.
My idea of an awesome first date is to take a bath together. No sex. Just two naked strangers in a tub full of bubbles. However, the wet-and-wild approach to dating may not exactly work for everyone. The one thing we can all agree on? Eating. Sure, you can meet at the local Mexican place and talk over tacos...but it's SO MUCH more fun to make those same tacos together. Then, of course, you can eat them. Maybe each other, too.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with hoping people get lucky when it comes to love....
The "Man In Kitchen" app is for people of all ages and all sexual preferences. There will even be a section for couples, as well as those who just want to make friends. No matter who you are or what you want, "Man In Kitchen" promises that--not only will you be well fed on your first date--you'll actually get to know the person you're with, too.
Food is sensual and cooking is sensuous. Think 9 1/2 Weeks with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke. Whether you have a passion for cooking or not, there's no better way to break the ice than turning on your oven and getting hot in the kitchen. You can learn a lot about a person by the way they handle themselves around food. Vegetarian, carnivore or kosher..."Man In Kitchen" has you covered. And, the best part??? It's totally free!
Like many dating sites, there will be incentives from "Man In Kitchen" for users to "boost" their profiles on the site. But it sounds like the incentives will be purchasable items that will actually make you and your life better. More "date-able." That's right...Charlie Sheen won't be the only one with #TigerBlood. Who's #Winning now???
That'd be you...thanks to "Man In Kitchen."
In case you were wondering (because I did), "Man In Kitchen" has both a female and a male creator. Headquartered in Los Angeles, this dynamic duo hopes to launch the Beta-app in 2018. The reason behind "Man In Kitchen" is pretty reasonable--especially if you've tried online dating in the 21st century:
"There's a need for a social platform that addresses (the problem of) gender equality...we believe (we) will motivate and inspire people to do better for one another and themselves--in the dating world, and in society in general."
You heard it hear first, folks! ManInKitchenApp.com is coming to a mobile device, tablet, or computer screen near you. So, if you find yourself hungry (or hangry) for love this Valentine's Day, don't despair! Help is just a beta-test away. Next year, you could be cooking with the guy or gal of your dreams in the kitchen of your dreams while talking about your hopes and your dreams. Now, isn't that better than a cheap box of chocolate-covered blueberries from Dollar General???
I think so, too.
Happy V-day to all the happy couples out there, as well as all the "singletons" who hope to be half of a happy couple in the not-so-distant future. Keep your eyes on the prize--not the size--people!
Now, go buy some condoms and, for fuck's sake, get laid....
-Follow @ManInKitchenApp on Twitter for updates (and recipes!) in 2018!