If broken hearts were easy to mend, love itself wouldn't have the same gravity. That's where things get messy. When two people are attracted to each other, sex, not love, is the focus. What's wrong with sex??? Nothing! One of my favorite things to do actually, but sex has an implied intimacy--whether that intimacy translates to both parties is another story. Intimacy is love. When we are intimate with another person, we start to care about them. If you don't care, you're a sociopath. Or, a liar. Luckily, the latter is more likely.
Liars in love are typically just scared. What of? Caring about someone. The liars among us are afraid to give love because...they may not get it back. Yikes! Talk about rejection. But if they do the rejecting first, the chances of getting hurt are greatly reduced. Maybe you miss the person you rejected for a few weeks, but ultimately, you convince yourself you're rejecting the person for legitimate "reasons" when all you're really doing is making excuses.
And what about the rejected party? Well, the first thing a rejected person does is try to look for answers. But liars are liars. There is no truth there--just fear. Yet we still seek it, looking for the reason behind the rejection. Was it some part of my physical appearance? Maybe it's my job? Maybe it's just me? I'm unlovable. No one understands me. Oh God, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life...ahhhhh!!!
Deep breaths...feeling better? Good. We're almost there:
No, you're not going to be alone. One liar, one rejection--hell, even if it were 100 rejections--though painful, it doesn't really matter. The truth is, all you need is one person to say yes to love to be in it. The right one. The right one will get you to the other side, even if the wrong one lingers a little too long in your heart (and mind).
What to do if your liar comes back for seconds? Now that's a good question! I wish it were a one-size-fits-all answer, but it isn't. Maybe your liar is someone you find irresistible? Irresistible is a tough temptation. It comes from chemistry and that's not something you can reason with. If you find yourself unable to say no to your magnetic liar, proceed with caution. Go into it knowing your weakness for this person. Usually, that kind of chemistry means mind-blowing sex. Hard to say no to--believe me, I get it. But if your liar was willing to discard you once, chances are good it will happen again. I know, I know...it sucks. And it's unfair. Great sex comes at an even greater cost. Even talk isn't as cheap as we might hope. Just know that your heart is going to take a licking so your body can, too....
Is it worth the risk? I'm not sure. But I can tell you that being on the other side with a person of worth is. Really worth it. And if you think that there is a person out there who can take you to the other side--whether you are the rejector or the rejectee--you deserve to at least explore that potential. You may get hurt again. In fact, it's almost a guarantee. Because even if you get to the other side, the person you're with now has your tender heart in their sometimes-clumsy hands.
In #LOVE, big risks mean bigger rewards. I'm in love with love, even though it makes me vulnerable. But that doesn't make me weak. Just the opposite, actually. I'm rather unbreakable (so love with that same ferocity...yes, it's that good). Not to say that my heart is impervious to pain. When it happens, it hurts. Badly. But I dust myself off, and after trying to find solutions to a problem that most likely isn't mine, I get back in the game. That's when the wonderful happens. The unexpectedly wonderful.
So, are you ready? To reclaim your love??? Okay, still not comfortable calling intimacy "love"? Fine. Then go reclaim that person you want to fuck. Better? Good! ;)
#LOVE always wins...and if you explore that lost potential, you'll be a winner, too.