Unless you are very rich, or have family money, you must work for any "wealth" you have. And by "wealth," I don't mean millions. I simply mean whatever wages you earn at your job to keep your car on the road, a roof over your head and food on the table. Living a life driven by fear keeps us closed to things like unconditional love and the positive energy that goes with it. It closes you off to the very possibility of it. How can anyone love another unconditionally when money makes the world go round? Is pure love even possible in 21st century society???
Yes, it is. You can love unconditionally, regardless of negative energy. I do. Every day. It's a choice. Money may be required in this life to survive, but if you have unconditional love, and know it, you will be able to ride the wave of positive energy you are connected to until your job no longer feels like a grind. It becomes a means to an end. Saving for a home so you can fill that space with love and laughter...and maybe the pitter-patter of tiny feet. A safe haven for you and the person you love to build a foundation for your shared future. All of that can only happen when you clear the negative energy and attachments in your life. Whatever effort is required to rid yourself of toxicity, do it. Because, on the other side of those negatives distracting you from your bliss, are the miracles we were put on this Earth to experience.
When you have cleared negative attachments, and are living in unconditional love--surrounding yourself with positive energy--you'll find you become more open to not only things like finding your #TwinFlame, but also, other unexpected opportunities. It may even be unwitting, but your openness translates to others because you are now talking to more people. Smiling more. You're friendlier. Even to the guy behind the cash register at your local convenient store or gas station. And when that guy hears about an opportunity that fits your skill set--which he now knows about because you are more open--he'll tell you about it the next time you come in. Almost like magic, a door you would have never expected is suddenly wide open. Like you. That's the power of real love.
Real love isn't an accident; it comes from being mindful, self-aware, and that means, self-responsible. Which sounds harder than it is. When you feel real or unconditional love, and the positive energy that goes with it, being self-responsible is like breathing. You just want to be better, want to do better. It feels natural. But it's more than that--with real love, you have the confidence to try things you otherwise would have never even considered before.
Positive energy is the opposite of fear. Fear keeps us closed off. It's in our posture, our facial expressions, our eyes. But so is positive energy! When you embrace unconditional love, and approach the world that way, people will start to notice. That's when more opportunity begins to surface.
How do you embrace positive energy and unconditional love when you are in the midst of tragedy or difficulty? How do you tap into that light when you feel like you're surrounded by nothing but darkness???
Okay, let me share with you all my continuing struggle with depression. It is situational, meaning, related to real-life tragedy. My life has been inundated by it. Even when I followed my bliss, I was struck low by misfortune. When you've dealt with things like teen pregnancy, abandonment, abuse, and cancer before you're even 20, it sets you up for a lifetime of fear and negative energy, not to mention economic, professional, and health-related struggles. But I've never let labels like that define me. Instead, they refine me. Polish me, not demolish me. After more than 25 years of hardship, however, constant struggle does wear on your spirit. I may be immortal, but I'm still only human....
What I show in my reflection is that people can be better than their circumstances. It's possible and probable to rise above negative energy. You just have to be mindful. Self-aware. Want it. And, act on that desire. You have agency, even when it's been taken away. Because you always have the choice to stay uplifted. To live in positive energy. To feel unconditional love. It's the last stand in a world full of misery. I wake up every day and make that stand. Over and over again. Nothing and no one can stop me. Or, you.
Stand up with me. Be proud to feel pain and still smile. Recognize and celebrate that indomitable spirit in others through compassion. It is perhaps the only thing we have true control over in this life: Our attitude for gratitude.
Every day since mid-November 2014, I am extraordinarily sad. Sometimes, I can't even get out of bed. But if you see my social media accounts, you see lots of smiles, moments with family and friends, home-cooking, art museum outings, sporting events, radio interviews, and photography from my frequent outdoor adventures. My life looks happy, doesn't it? I'm not faking it either. Those are all representations of what I'm actually doing; it's my "real" life. You'll just never see the real pain behind it all. Positive energy flows through me and out into the world because pain does not define me; I define me. Every good thing that happens in those pictures, happens because I make it happen. With sheer will.
You can be victimized, as I have been, but it doesn't mean you have to be a victim. You will feel sadness at the negative energy all around you--you wouldn't be human if you didn't--but you don't have to let it define who you are and what you are capable of.
Labels are limits derived from negative energy. I may struggle with depression, but I do not let it live my life for me. Sometimes it feels that way to me, but no one else sees that. Because it's not really true. What you see on social media is a person who rises above the labels and the limits put on her life by gender, health and socio-economic status. My life is far from perfect, and today, I have problems I did not have before November 2014. But I also know that, because of positive energy, there is no problem I cannot solve with time, patience and effort. It is the same for each of you, dear readers.
What are the labels society has given to you? Have you been rejected? Told you were "no good"? Useless? Worthless? Poor? Uneducated? Stupid? Weak? A victim??? For every label assigned to you, there is a psychology that goes with it. It's easy to buy in to that psychology. Because, people want you to. Why? It's more palatable for society to accept that the world is unfair if it is unfair to you because you are _______. Fill in the blank with whatever descriptive you'd like. It's what everyone else does.
Blaming the victim is de rigueur in 2016. But regardless of social attitudes, labels are not what define us. Neither are the circumstances we are born into, or, have happened to us along the way simply because of the labels society has assigned to our lives.
Want examples? Here you go: It may not register to some folks that I am as beautiful and happy as I am, yet disabled. That, I am funny but a cancer patient. That, I can laugh even though I've suffered losses like my daughter, #Emma. It may not make sense that I have a Ph. D. but have a censor-worthy sense of humor. Or, that I am an intelligent woman who speaks more than five languages, has written 10 books, over 200 essays and articles, won teaching excellence awards as a professor, yet have the body of a sex b-bomb. And, how do I bike 30 miles when I can't even walk one without a prosthetic brace???
Labels don't define me; I defy/define them. Many fear what they don't understand. I should be curled up in a ball in some hospital. I should be in a wheelchair. I should be dead. I should be dying. I should definitely not have a 957,000-person annual reach or 800,000 people reading my blog. Nor should I have been able to stand on stage with over 200 celebs. I should not be able to find love or joy or happiness or peace and I should certainly not be as fertile as I am either. No babies for me! Guess I'm too old, too sick, too...fill in the blank.
All of the above is nothing more than negative energy. Labels are limits; limits derive from negative energy. We know this now. The only weight a label (or limit, for that matter) has is what we give to it. Because, I'm not dead, dying, in a wheelchair, or, in a hospital. And, I have stood on stage with Emmy-winning celebs. I have a popular blog. My annual reach is nearly one-million strong. I was also able to get pregnant at 43 with no fertility drugs.
Losing my daughter, Emma, is just one of many heart-breaking examples from my life that relate to the devastation negative energy causes. So, when I tell you about the power of positive energy, when I talk about unconditional love, you now have a small inkling that, perhaps, I'm not just spouting new age garbage at you. I've lived it. It's very real. And, after all I've lived through, if there are no limits on my life, there are certainly no limits on yours either.
Giving up is never an option....
If you really examined the limits in your own life, I bet you'd start to see a similar pattern as well. Those limits are not your problem; limits are the problems of the people who issue them. Your biggest "problem" is only ever finding ways around the obstacles negative energy has produced.
Unconditional love and positive energy allows you to move beyond the emotional mire of things like betrayal. Sure, you were still betrayed, but so what? You are alive. And, you are still you. You do not have to let that kind of hurt, pain and anger mold you or control you. When you do, you are no longer being influenced by the negative energy of others. You are being influenced by your own negative energy. You begin to see only problems where there was once an abundance of solutions. That is why you must stop letting someone else's limits control who you are. You can grieve for your losses connected to imposed negative energy, but decide to take control of your own life no matter happens. With some effort, mindful self-responsibility will set you free to choose the life you want, not the life others have chosen for you.
Whether you've lost a job, have to deal with disease, separation/divorce, difficulty with family or friends, the loss of a child, a home, having to move, financial problems (welcome to my life...), it's all just negative energy created by negative people. Once you remove yourself from the negatives, even if it's just changing how you think while living amidst the difficulty, life will improve. You will begin to see limits as mere obstacles--things you know you can get around, or over, or move through--rather than imposingly endless horrors that will haunt your life forever.
"But...this horrible person did some horrible thing, how can I forgive that? How can I forget?"
Before I answer those questions, let me first acknowledge your losses. Because those losses happened to you, it is formidable. As are the horrors you have faced in your lifetime. The many difficulties, big and small. I am sorry for the injustices, the inequities, and the unnecessary cruelties. Not because I caused them, but because you have pain as a result. No one is put on Earth for struggle. We are all here to live our best lives.
When negative energy is present, think of it as a cog in the cosmic machine. It pushes the things we must clear to the surface in order for us to move forward. It's not bad luck; it's an opportunity to be more self-aware, reclaim agency and gain empowerment over the things that have stopped you from living the life of your dreams. No, I'm not living the life of mine at the moment. But I have. Many times now. And, I will again. Because I know I have the power to reshape my life. Every day, I move a little closer to my goals. Even if slow, progress is still progress.
It's the same for each of you....
Once you recognize that using negative energy for things like resentment (instead of using it to power you forward) only harms you, you'll be mindful enough to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your own life. Realizing your personal power means reclaiming agency. Understanding you can do something about whatever bad thing has occurred. No one else has that power. Just you.
Personal power is taking back responsibility for your own life. And yes, part of that is acknowledging your losses properly. We all must grieve in order to heal. But as you do, remain mindful; through your tears, make one small positive adjustment to your life each day. For each positive adjustment, you take back a little more agency. At some point, your small changes add up, reaching critical mass. That's your tipping point a la Malcolm Gladwell. Do that, and you'll never again face another limit. Be as patient, kind and generous to yourself as you are to others. People will still attempt to impose their limits, labels, and negative energy on you for as long as you live, but that's their problem. As is their resentment of you finding ways around what boxes them in. When you surpass imposed social limits, there will always be people who hate you for it. There will always be those who try to pull you back.
Be the arrow. Let them pull you back as hard as they can. When you finally free yourself, you will soar. While those who pulled you back can only stand there, stunned, watching you fly away.
Real love is what powers positive energy. You don't have to have a person tell you they love you every day to feel it. Real love is inside you. You choose to connect to it. You choose to believe that no matter what others do, you'll still feel love. Still care. You are not disrespecting yourself by feeling love for those who hurt you. Let's face it, it's why anyone has the power to hurt us in the first place. We give that power through trust, belief. To be open enough to love and trust and believe in others is a beautiful thing. A miracle. So is being self-aware enough to recognize the difference between real love (unconditional love) and obligatory love (conditional love): "I feel obligatory love toward people like my ex-wife and my family, because we lived together for years and have a history, but I am in love with you. It feels very different because our connection is unconditional; that won't change or go away, even if you do."
Feeling real love is far from being addicted, obsessed, stuck, or pathetic--all labels derived from negative energy, and usually spouted by fear-driven people trying to disrupt your happiness for the sake of their own. Eventually, despite social resistance, you realize being in love means feeling real love. And real love is unconditional.
Having the capacity to feel real love means you have the capacity to be loyal, consistent, constant, and compassionate. Which also means you have the capacity to be mindful, self-aware, and self-responsible. Given enough time and patience, your unlimited capacity will lead you to trusting yourself more. Something negative people/energy try to rob us of. But if you feel real love, you can reclaim agency over all the negatives in your life. Because, every day that you choose to put your energy into real love, you create positive flow.
I'm not saying you won't have sad or bad days like I still do, but at some point, the future you know is possible will call you forward, a future that's only possible because of YOU. You have the capacity to love unconditionally. Never forget it. If you've felt real love before, it doesn't disappear. It's in you. You own it. There's no greater trump card. Even when you lose, you can still win.
I like those odds, don't you???
Reconnecting with positive energy and real love gives you everything you need to overcome the limits in your life. Not tomorrow, or in some abstract future, you can overcome those limits TODAY, just by making one choice. One change.
You've got this....
PS: Today, 2.27, is an 11 day. If you add 2+2+7 (11) to 2+0+1+6 (9), you get 1+1+9, or, another 11. In essence, today is an 11:11 day, a power day for #TwinFlames. To all the #Twins reading this: May your #TwinFlame journey go smoothly; may you come back to reunion quickly. #Peace #Light #Love #Joy #Happiness