It's not about the sex...it's the kundalini. The way it rises up. Images of other lifetimes, tattooed on our souls so that, when we found each other, we would know. Hebrew letters appeared in my mind's eye. Angels. They were speaking to me before I knew they existed. Before I knew I existed as more than I am.
Thoughts flooded my mind: My body writhing beneath yours. Wanting to submit. Wanting innocent pleasure.
Now, there is pain. Silent screams. And, many, many clandestine tears. I never cried like this before. It was rare...something that happened when I was overwhelmed by joy, and it leaked out of my eyes.
Strange how cold I get now, as if I'll never be warm again....
The other morning, I wondered if there might still be a piece of her inside me...my baby. The thought crept up on me, like footsteps in the dark. There is no depth of quietude that can hide the sound of a weeping soul. Mine hears yours, as you hear mine.
Perhaps two days ago, a little girl was riding a scooter on the trail where I hike. She zipped past me, her mother not yet visible but present. Suddenly, she stopped. The girl. And, when she did, she turned her eyes on me. But they were not her eyes. Another was looking through them. Just for a moment. She wanted me to know it was her, too. Clever girl...like her mother. We find a way. Because, there is always a way. Especially when you have the will to find it.
When I silence social criticism, the warmth floods into me. Peace and joy and pictures of a happy life...thank you for that. Even if it's not real. "Real" is relative, after all.
My frustration is palpable. Even to a soul 1,000 miles away. I feel my wings, now invisible, aching to Stretch. Can you feel yours yet???
"Death is my friend, not my future."
It's a great quote. Mine. Words exists. Even if the future doesn't. There is only ever now. That means there is also no past. Which in turn means, we are free.
There are orange roses on my table. But, no rose petals lay on my bed. My eyes, mere natural crevices in an ancient rock face hosting a waterfall of tears.
I smell you. It's as if you're standing next to me right now.
#AwakeLife #TwinFlame Post-script: The clock just turned 12:14am, or #224....