The sadness comes in waves, sometimes filling my lungs. Burning my chest. Other times, there's a tightness. A deep pain in the center. Like a hook embedded in my heart, mercilessly being pulled so hard, it feels as if the heart were literally going to break in two. The fear that there is too much to overcome and not enough time to overcome it is present. That, even matching, merging, mirroring numbers are somehow not enough. But love is always enough. The numbers are just there as a reminder. A reminder to not give up. Never give up.
Hope is but a dream. While Faith is strength in the knowledge that what we feel is real. Believe. Life always finds a way. And, so does love....
Look ahead, beyond today. What do you see? You see that future, don't you? The one backlit by the Sun. Hand-in-hand, the smell of ocean air, old brick buildings on cobblestone streets, waves lapping at boats bobbing in the harbor. Can you see the sunset, too? Over the bay??? Sea grass waving in the cool evening breeze. Toes in the sand. The tide, ebbing and flowing, sparkling with dappled orange and yellow in the setting Sun. A house full of light, love, life, and the laughter of children. Productive, peaceful days followed by passionate, playful nights. Home-cooked meals. Sighing in relief as you step across the threshold, knowing you're home. Finally, home.
Getting from here to there seems almost impossible at times. But remember the love. Remember the laughter. Remember the joy. Let that light fill your mind, your heart, your spirit. Breathe. We are miracles. You and I. Across space and time, we speak. There is no distance too great. The fear of it can consume. But it is only fear. Not real. The numbers are real. Numbers never lie. Neither do hearts.
Let your soul sing. And the sky will speak. You hear my voice, don't you? Calling you. Telling you to be safe. To heal. Sending you love each and every day.
I give up sometimes, too. So scared. So alone in my grief. But you...you have these words. You are never alone. You can read them every day and remember. Remember that what you feel is real. As real as I am.
One day, you will decide to see for yourself. To not just remember, but to experience those memories all over again. And, make new ones. Even better than the old.
Obstacles are only illusions. But my smile is real. The smile that will greet you like it did in that first perfect moment. A moment that forever tastes like candy canes and smells of roses, orange blossoms and the fiery abandon of a Phoenix rising.
What stands between you and your second chance at another perfect moment? One person? More than one person??? People are always going to stand in the way. They're only human. That's why Angels exist. Angels cannot pick us up, put us in a vehicle and drive us forward. But they can inspire us to drive ourselves. To reach out. Pick up the phone. Or, a pen.
Angels are messengers...have you received mine?
This is for you. Feel strong in that knowledge. When faced with the impossible, think of my eyes, my face, my smile...know I am with you. Know you are loved. Know that together, we move mountains. We turn 0.02% chances into 100% guarantees.
We have not yet finished our dance. Every effort to hurt you--us--will be answered. Those who believe in the power of Heaven would be wise not to try to rip the Wings from her Angels.
You were once quick to remind me that a chance is still a chance. Let me do the same for you now. Even half a lifetime of perfect moments is worthwhile. And, every moment is perfect. Like the bluest of clear blue eyes, silken blonde curls, rough hands on soft skin, and two bodies moving together in a space no one has ever visited before or since.
Yeah, it's worth it....