Sadness. 05/13/2012
 
Today was a day for Mothers. A day we moms get calls, cards, flowers. A day that's supposed to be celebratory, a celebration of life. But it's all a lie, isn't it? Today's recognition only exists because of capitalism--not consideration. It creates artificial expectations that more often than not, creates a deep sense of disappointment. And how could it not? It's not real.

Have you ever been at an impasse? You can't go any further because there's simply no where else to go? Your choices are simple and few. You can turn around; go back(wards). Or, you can try to push through, somehow move ahead--even though there's no where else to go. It's a fruitless pursuit, but in the face of devolution, one may choose to try, if for no other reason than as a distraction from the impasse itself. However, there is a third option: Curl up and wait to die. It's not something most of us choose to do. Though screaming before choosing any direction is typical. Because these choices, as it were, are incredibly frustrating.

After screaming in utter frustration, and before making your terrible choice, try looking at the impasse from a different perspective. A dog may bark at a squirrel two feet away, but because there is a high fence separating the two, the dog will continue barking, maybe digging, too, trying to move straight toward the squirrel. Humans do the same thing when it comes to an impasse. We growl. We bark, We even whine. We look for ways under the fence, But like the dog, we forget that there's a gate. Moving directly through the fence may not be possible, but if we check the perimeter, we'll eventually find easy access.

What does this have to do with Mother's Day? Mother's Day is just as deceptive as the chain link fence. You can see through it, see what you want, even be close enough to practically touch it, but unless you use logic, you'll only ever be frustrated, disappointed and ultimately, sad.

No impasse is insurmountable if one refuses to give up. To persevere sounds so courageous, so brave. But in reality, when one must push on despite continued obstacles, even amidst the bravery, there is a deep sadness at having to do it. Never take that for granted. Because though the impasse will be finished, the sadness derived from the effort sticks to the soul. And when you get lonely, which can happen on days like today, that sadness will appear to keep you company. Hold your hand. Sit next to you. And after a time, Doubt will appear as well.

Before you know it, you're no longer lonely. You've got lots of friends. Sadness. Doubt. Fear is not far behind. Hatred, close on Fear's heels.

Still, you are worth the effort.
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Evolution. 05/11/2012
 
Can't believe May is almost half-over! Where does the time go? Of course, time is a human construct. So time, in real terms, doesn't exist. But yet, there's still the feel of it...the passage of moments. We are outside, sitting in the sunshine and then, we are not. Humans call that change of scenery time, but really, it's about space.

We move through space, from one point, to the next, to the next. Even when sitting still. While we sit idle, what we ride though the Universe, Earth, isn't. Our planet is constantly rotating through space. And around Earth, our Moon. And Earth, the Sun. The symmetry of it, the graceful beauty, makes one want to weep. It seems miraculous to us in much the same way a baby finds the moving pictures that appear from seemingly nowhere on a television magical. And that proves our infancy. As do so many other human inventions...like hatred. 

I hate. You hate. We all hate. What's infantile isn't that we emote hate. Hatred goes hand-in-hand with fear, and fear is the one emotion we're born with. Can't do much about that. And wouldn't want to. Fear helps us to survive. It's how we react to those feelings of hate that makes our immaturity clear. Very. Clear.

We see difference and automatically, fear begins to rise. Again, it's survival. Being able to differentiate was an important part of our evolution. Still is. But we're not talking about differentiating between a bear with big teeth and claws versus a soft, fuzzy lamb--one wants to eat you while the other is easy to eat. Again, that was early human thought. Today, we make our own food, our own protein (though a majority of humans still insist on sustaining their lives on unnecessary death--not exactly evidence of our superiority). We have secure shelters. We don't need fire to create heat. We have indoor plumbing and running, mostly clean water. We still don't have fangs or claws, but we have tools like guns, swords and knives. Our large, complex brains and opposable thumbs have allowed us to "evolve." But those two physical attributes aren't soley responsible. Enter our relationship with dogs.

That's right. Dogs. Without them, we wouldn't have survived as long as we have. Didn't know that, did you? It's true. And look at what canine loyalty has earned dogs? Our cruelty. Abuse. An avalanche of misplaced human hatred. 

We're damned. Humans. Not because some man-made mythology says so. No. Because, frankly, we're not terribly bright. The time, energy and effort we put into advancing our technology has allowed us to stagnate in our psycho-social evolution. Again, short-sighted, meaning short on intelligence. That's a choice by the way. Dogs have proven that.

They don't have the same oral anatomy so can't form words as we do, yet dogs, with their "lesser" brains, have learned our language. And not just the words. 

Dogs can read our body language and facial expressions--even differentiate the tone and volume of our voices--with a terrific degree of accuracy. Their brains aren't structured like ours so don't organize language in the same way, yet dogs can understand single words...lots of them. Ironically, Time magazine used a gifted Australian shepard in their article that claimed dogs could understand upwards of 250 words. Sounds hard to believe. Unless you know a dog.

Dogs have facial recognition, long-term memory, complex emotions, and emotional responses; they are pragmatic, practical creatures whose unwavering loyalty makes them fierce protectors and the most caring, devoted friends. Dogs don't keep score or hold grudges. Dogs, who humans think of as "lesser" beings, have evolved--beyond us. They don't rely on technology or tools, and so, their intelligence has expanded. While we humans, well, we still act on hate. And myths like time...and religion.

What we think we know isn't as accurate as what we don't yet recognize or understand. Meaning, we don't get it, and don't want to. We choose ignorance--the excuse of the apathetic--over truth, and do this over and over again, ad infinitum. Our "advanced" brains are sick. We're too egotistical. Our evolution included being selfish as a mode of self-preservation. But because we haven't had a psycho-social evolution in over 10,000 years and certainly longer--that's just when the earliest evidence of philosophy emerges in human history--self-preservation became perverted. Our egos, over-developed. And today, we're consumed by our hatred, teetering on our fragile egos. 

Road rage. Child abuse. Rape. Racism. Ageism. Disability discrimination. Elitism. Animal abuse. Sex slavery. Bullying. Torture. Neglect. Domestic violence. There's no end to the horrors derived by humanity. 

They say time heals all wounds... but time doesn't exist. 

We do. 


   
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Cancer's prevalency in the 21st century has desensitized us to both critical illness and chronic disease. We've become accustomed to it. And anytime we become used to something like perpetual sickness, it should raise a big red flag. While dealing with physical health issues like cancer are extraordinarily difficult, there's a definitive treatment program that, if detected early enough, renders good results. But the quiet killer in the background is mental illness. More than 25% of Americans have it. And because it's harder to identify, define, and, treat, it's not understood as easily.

I grew up in a world dictated by mental illness. It caused tremendously negative ripples in my life pond, and still does. As an adult, I've been able to separate myself to a certain degree, but it's still a part of my life. And as people age, mental illness, particularly if gone untreated, doesn't get better. It only exaggerates.

The pervasive nature of mental illness is hard to describe if you've never had any experience with it. It goes beyond neglect and abuse. Because mental illness largely goes undiagnosed, or, is misdiagnosed, and, is ultimately hard to define, you can have high-functioning individuals who may be a big-wig in the workplace, but in every other area of their lives, behave irrationally. In fact, one of the trademarks of a successful CEO or Executive is having a mild form of sociopathy, or, lacking a social conscience. So it's not a surprise to see that the number one city for adult mental illness is Washington D. C., followed closely by New York and Massachusetts.

As a child, it was surreal. To know that the adults you depended on were somehow off but to have no real ability to help them, or, yourself. And inevitably, mental illness, after years of exposure, has a negative effect on otherwise healthy people. Whether the embarrassment of bringing home a friend only to find 12-inch piles of crumpled napkins and papertowels covering every kitchen surface, or being told over and over again that something you know to be unequivocably true isn't--like the color of your eyes-- exposure to mental illness can be maddening. There's so much wrong with your everyday life, that you begin to question your own sanity. It's like living with people who whole-heartedly believe the sky is red, even though  it's very clearly blue. And you can't argue with them. You have only two choices: walk away, or, more sadly, join in the fantasy. And as a child, you can't walk away. You may try--very hard--to help those affected to see reality, but that's the tragic part of mental illness: there's no infection site to treat--it's nebulous in nature and has many different contexts, each as legitimate as the next. You're ill-equipped to deal with what is now a shared reality. There are moments of safe-haven though. Because in these rare moments, other people will acknowledge your struggle and ease the burden. 

The difficulty with mental illness is that it makes otherwise criminal actions seem almost sympathetic. But if you've been victimized by someone with a mental illness, your experience is still a legitimate experience, even if the people who hurt you were not always in their right minds. Things you may not otherwise forgive, you may feel obligated to overlook. And that isn't healthy. For anyone.

Ultimately, once you've done all you can do to help, and treatment is still refused, you must walk away. It sounds hard and horrible, but there's nothing more you can do. To continue to attempt to save a drowned man is a form of self-punishment itself; that kind of irrational behavior means you've been infected, too. In order to get better, you must walk away. If you want to quit smoking but have friends who smoke, you can't see them anymore. Alcoholics are encouraged to stay away from those who enable drinking. If you have depression, you cannot socialize with negative people. And it is the same with mental illness. It can be infectious, even though there is no physical "germ" that contributes to the condition.

If you feel you're working for someone with mental illness, your best defense is to try and get another job within a new department or leave your place of employment altogether if at all possible. It's the same with friends or family who may suffer from undiagnosed or untreated mental illness. You cannot save them. You can only save yourself.

Our society glorifies mental illness with reality television shows meant to entertain; things like Hoarders or Doomsday Preppers reflect the public interest in mental illness, but not in terms of helping these poor people--only to put them on public display--to make them a focal point for Facebook status updates and Twitter hashtags. That, in and of itself, is mentally ill. Like the KAYAK commercial that makes light of brain surgery.

Curiosity is a nice way of saying "nosy"--if you want to actually learn more about mental illness, stay away from reality TV. Instead, check out the National Alliance on Mental Illness:
http://www.nami.org

Or, The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/index.shtml

Mental illness affects 1 in 5 Americans. It's real. So there's a very good chance that you know, work with, or are related to a person suffering from mental illness. The problem is, unless that person publically displays their mental illness, no one will force them to get help. Anyone would rush to help a person bleeding to death. That's why treating mental illness is so difficult. It's not always as obvious to identify as physical illness. Hard to deny you're sick when you're puking your brains out. But if you haven't slept in your bed for months because you're a hoarder, no one may ever know.  

The best way to counteract mental illness is to regularly see a therapist, eat well, exercise daily, and as Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss." In other words, live well.

Living well isn't about material items or the number of dollars in your bank account. It's about prioritizing yourself. You cannot help anyone else if you yourself are not whole. Want to help the world? Start with you. And even if you feel you're in a good place, maintain your physical and mental health by not over-commiting, squeezing out things like healthy eating and exercise, and, by steering clear of negative people and situations. Instead, walk the Earth with mindful compassion. 

If you put yourself first, everything else will follow.





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My spring Comic Con tour started in Toronto and ended in Boston. If you're not in the know about all-things-Comic-Con, then you probably don't consider the "man behind the curtain," or, who puts these things on.

Wizard World puts on Comic Cons all over the country, including Toronto, Philly, Chicago, Mid-Ohio, Austin, and New Orleans. Their latest acquisition is the "Big Apple" Comic Con for 2013, but that's not the same as the New York Comic Con. Comic Cons in other areas of North America are put on by other companies, like the San Diego "International" Comic Con and, of course, East Coast Cons like Baltimore and Boston.

The Boston Comic Con was a lot of fun. Toronto had a ton of celebs and so, was more about individual fans of individual celebs...and, Yu Gi Oh. There were lots of tween, teen, and young adult boys looking for the opportunity to play in tournaments. You had Artists' Alley, of course, but there were more browsers than buyers because the crowd was more interested in celebrity-sightings and photo opps, using the vendors as a sort of time-filler/killer. In Boston, the focus was on comic books themselves. The celebs? Guys like Al Jaffe of MAD magazine. There were also a ton of families--including mom, dad, and older teens with younger siblings. There were great costumes at both Boston and Toronto, basically, fans who dress up as characters from everything to Star Trek and Star Wars, to X-Men...there was one Merlin from the SyFy show of the same name in Toronto, and one Katniss Everdeen in Boston.

The space was different in Boston, all encompassed in one long, very wide hallway, or branch, of the Hynes Convention Center. The Hynes Convention Center is accessible via the Prudential Center and Copley Plaza off of Boylston Street. Great location near high-end shopping and eateries, as well as more family friendly venues, right in downtown Boston. The hallway was lined with vendors selling all kinds of interesting things, but also, lots of comic artists and indie film-makers, as well as people in costume for photo-opps with fans. On the right side of the hallway, or plaza-level, there were separate rooms for speakers like me, as well as a zombie movie-marathon, while the left had a very large space used for Artists' Alley. There were artists from all the major Marvel and DC groups, as well as Th3rd World and the artist for Cinderella, a great female-hero driven graphic novel. There was about 8,000 fans trolling the Boston Comic Con, mostly in costume. There were no lines, plenty of space and lots of friendly, smiling faces. There was a real fun-vibe happening at the Boston Comic Con. And I was there on the second day. Which tells the whole story, doesn't it?

In Toronto, the speaker rooms and celeb Q&A's took place in one wing of the Metro Convention Centre in downtown Toronto, also near  restaurants as well as the famed Rogers Stadium and CN Tower; the featured rooms were in the center of the wing with hallways and access doors on both sides. Further down, you could find tournament rooms and on the second level, there was Artists' Alley--a warehouse-sized space that had food vendors all around the perimeter, artists and authors in the center and at the back, celeb photo/autograph stations. Like the Boston Comic Con, Toronto had two main rooms for speakers--one large (480-person capacity) and one smaller (350-person capacity). I was originally scheduled for the smaller space, but like Boston, we made a few last minute changes to accomodate the show. Wizard World offers VIP ticketing so for every event or speaker over the course of the day, there were two lines--one for VIP ticket-holders and one for people with general admission day passes. There were two long lines of people waiting to enter the room for my show...which somewhat freaked me out when I realized what was happening. I've had large audiences before--but never people willing to stand in line for 20 minutes to see me. And in Toronto, unlike Boston, no one in attendance was a family member or friend--but I did meet plenty of fans of my books, and, of vampires in general, and, of the supernatural, and, of paranormal romance, and, of superheroes...so it was a real mix that made for a very enthusiastic, engaged audience.

The fans for my Boston show numbered upwards of 120 or so. In Toronto, my audience was almost double that. Of course, the room in Boston seated about 120 (as opposed to Toronto--which seated 480!), and yes, there were people standing up in the back in Boston. Now, what made the Boston audience even more awesome was the surprise. What surprise? Let me explain:

I was scheduled for a room without a projector; the problem there is part of my show at all Comic Cons depends on a multi-media presentation I made specifically to go along with my talk. Without the visuals and sound  to go with my presentation, it would be like serving pancakes...without the syrup. Dry. And tasteless. So, the promoter for Boston had offered to rearrange the zombie movie-marathon so I could do my show properly. Very generous of him, because it meant tweaking the schedule. Unfortunately, we weren't able to make the changes in time to get into the program. So as I spoke to a full room yesterday, while the fans were just awesome and super-engaged in my talk, actively asking questions and sharing comments, I mistakenly thought most were in the room for the zombie-flicks. After I closed my talk, and the kind applause resounded around the room, not only was I bombarded by pop culture enthusiasts, but I realized as we cleared the space before getting George Romero's Night of the Living Dead on the silver screen, that the room was empty of all but five people. That crowd, the people who squished-in, even stood up, to listen to my talk weren't just being polite, they were there specifically to see my show. I am a Native Bostonian and there were five people in attendance who knew me--so what about the other 110 +/- folks???

It was awesome to see so many people pack the room just for my show. I loved my time in Toronto, too--don't get me wrong. It was fabulous. But being in my hometown and having people who didn't know me show up just to see me was pretty amazing. I was humbled, and grateful.

My Comic Con tour continues this fall. Stay tuned for more details! What am I doing in the meantime? Well, for starters--TED. No, it's not what you think. I'll be presenting in the field my Doctorate is in, Medical Humanities, for a TEDx talk in New York this June. I'll also be participating in an event at Yale this summer. By September, I'll be back on the Wizard World Tour for at least two of the three fall Comic Cons scheduled in Mid-Ohio, Austin, and New Orleans.

So what's the big deal? Why are hundreds of people packing into rooms at these Cons to see me? Well, you'll just have to see it for yourself. I can tell you that I do have a book chapter coming out on vampires in popular culture in the definitive book edited by Jody Pennington, Evil in Pop Culture, coming out next year. And yes, there are other projects in the pipeline. A hint? Sure!

Things aren't always black and white...sometimes, they're in Shades of Grey...and other colors, too: Purples, golds, reds, blues, but I've already said too much. ;)

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So, you want the dish? The insider-info on all the dirty details??? Sure, I can help you there. Hang on to your hat!

CW-darling, Torrey DeVitto, who plays Melissa Hastings on Pretty Little Liars and Dr. Meredith Fell on Vampire Diaries, is as sweet, nice and TALENTED as you would imagine her to be. She has natural grace under pressure and handled difficult fan-questions during her Q&A with husband of one-year, Paul Wesley, like a champ. Yes, I was moderating the panel. And yes, Torrey was sitting next to me. She was wearing a super-flattering black and white jacket and killer heels. Donning the in-style of darker hair with light-ends in loose curls, she shined. Plain and simple.

DeVitto and Wesley married a year ago this month on the 16th; DeVitto's talents go way beyond the silver screen to her violin. Yes, she's a terrific musician. Her father was a drummer for Billy Joel and her middle name is in Joel's honor. She even played her fiddle for Christie Brinkley at Brinkley's wedding to Peter Cooke.

What I loved about the couple was how Wesley generously shared the spotlight and limelight with DeVitto. There were about 400 screaming females of all ages in the 45-minute Q&A that took place at 3pm EST at the Metro in Toronto. The "talent," as celebs like Wesley and DeVitto are called at events like this, enter the room a few minutes after the session starts. Because, as moderator, I had to lay down some ground rules first. And, get the crowd even more frenzied for their brush with Vampire Diaries fame. Tough job, but someone's got to do it.

The two came running in after my intro and got right to work, engaging with excited fans. Wesley had no problem joking easily with fans, even when one made a comment about how small Wesley is in person. DeVitto picked up the question, explaining how television cameras add height and width to people. And she's right. A television camera adds about ten pounds to a person's perceived frame, and, because of perspective, adds a few inches as well. Wesley also admitted to having slacked a bit on his daily Vamp Diaries work outs, saying playfully, "What do you want? I'm tired...," followed by his signature James Dean-like smile.

DeVitto and Wesley were tight-lipped about next week's season finale, hinting only that Stefan develops a new relationship.

Another interesting revelation was when a fan asked Wesley if he'd ever watched the evolution of Joss Whedon's Angel to prepare for his role as the Ripper. Wesley stunned us all by saying he's never seen Boreanaz's work. Ever. We were all a bit disappointed to learn that Wesley isn't a fan of the genre he's a part of. But that's what acting is all about, isn't it? As fans, we'd like to imagine the people who portray some of our favorite characters are just as enthusiastic as we are.

Wesley also revealed that if he wasn't acting, he'd be writing. I found this of particular interest as a writer and writing professor, and almost handed him my card right on the spot.

DeVitto said she always knew she wanted to be in show biz while Wesley said it was something that evolved over time for him. His favorite movie: Goodfellas. DeVitto, on the other hand, named three--including Newsies.

Now, in case you're wondering, the schedule for a celeb at Comic Con is rather grueling. You're meeting and greeting people for several hours in the morning; you get a short break for lunch before prepping for your next appearance--usually a Q&A--followed by more photo opps with fans. Your hand is cramped by day's end; your throat is dry. You can only see blue spots before your eyes because there have been cameras flashing in your face the entire day. You don't have time to change, so you're sweating--all day--with only brief moments of privacy to touch up and refresh on the go. You have to smile constantly. You can never slouch. And eating or drinking is out of the question because press and photogs are always looking for that "everyday" moment to sell to mags. Even walking down the hallway is a chore because you can't do it without being followed by flashes and promises of eternal love. And the thing is, these actors are just people. Like you and I. They simply embody the ideas writers pull their thinning hair out to develop for you, the fans. And yes, I pull my hair out on a daily basis.

Speaking of hair, Wesley claims to do his own trademark spike.

As moderator, I had to wrap the session at about 3:50pm to get the next celeb (Gerry Ryan) in the room on time; not an easy thing to do, given that the Q&A line at the mic was still 20-people deep. But Wesley and DeVitto were very personable with their fans, giving each question careful consideration and elaborate answers--the kind that you wait in line for 45 minutes to hear. Luckily, Paul Wesley was gracious enough to offer to do further meet-n-greets in his booth stationed along Artists' Alley on the upper level.

Before Torrey DeVitto left the stage, she looked for me to shake my hand, thanking me for my work. She cued Wesley to do the same before their hasty departure. I was holding my cane in my right hand and wasn't quite ready for the back-handed hand-shake so Wesley apologized and shook my other hand, also thanking me before being deluged by fans asking him to stop and take a picture with him. He was being ushered out by his manager and bodyguard, even though it was clear he loved his fans and would have stayed in the room all day chatting them up if he could.

Wesley and DeVitto's first-class flight to Toronto wasn't as easy as one might imagine; not only was Joan Rivers a passenger (so one may find their fashion choice of the day under scrutiny on her next episode of Fashion Police), but the couple had to endure their plane being struck by lightening! DeVitto said it sounded like one of the plane engines had died when they were first hit; she thought the plane was going down. While Wesley joked that he knew they'd be fine, having previously read about how a plane's construction is meant to hold up to lightening. He laughed as described the odd way the pilot came on the speakers, commenting about how it was Friday the 13th so weird things were bound to happen. Indeed.

Before DeVitto and Wesley's session was set up, SyFy's Being Human cast members, including Meaghan Rath, Sam Huntington and Sam Witwer were doing their own Q&A. I was prepping for my spot with Paul and Torrey so was unable to sit in on their session but did rub elbows with Huntington, Rath and Witwer as I was getting on stage for the Vampire Diaries show at 3pm. The chatty threesome, particularly Huntington, were super-friendly with fans and staff. I didn't have time to get too involved but can tell audiences that as I was prepping on stage, Witwer gave me a good, hard, long look. Up. And down. Witwer is six years my junior so I was terribly complimented, especially given his rumored connection with the gorgeous, Alexa Davalos. Three people were responsible for my look that day: Kate Somerville (and her insanely good skin care), my colorist, Jason (who made my hair absolutely perfect for the occassion even though I'm the worst client in the world), and of course, the indominable Roberto Cavalli (for his Moorea batwing blouse that not only helped me keep my cool all day long, but helped me look the part as well). Oh, and lest I forget to mention the adorable, Dr. Irwin Smigel, who has helped celebs like Kelly Ripa keep their smiles whiter and brighter for years--thank you for your generosity.    

Three years ago, I went through a terrible trauma. More cruelty than anyone can imagine. It caused me to have health difficulties that included neurological symptoms like losing feeling on my left side, decreased mobility, weight gain, and depression. So as I stood on stage yesterday with the talented, generous and kind Paul Wesley and his lovely wife and co-star, Torrey DeVitto (whose million-watt smile is even more dazzling in person than on screen), I felt as though--with the help of friends mentioned above and my manager, as well as the love of my life, Bob--like the vampires I so passionately study, write, and speak about, I was born again. Into a new life. A better life. One where dreams can come true. And the cruelty that has caused not only me, but all of humanity, to turn to fanged-monsters as our saviors, has disappeared.

My one regret? Not having the time to tell Torrey and Paul that they'd be perfectly cast as Ana and Christian in the upcoming movie production of Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh, and by the way, if you are a fan of James' work, I can only hint at connection to an upcoming project surrounding the now infamous "mommy porn"--the dominant to Ana's submissive, as it were.
 
More to come on Toronto Comic Con 2012!!! And stay tuned for next week's reflection on the Boston Comic Con:

Must. Eat. Brains.

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The Run Around 04/10/2012
 
You know how, sometimes, when dealing with a problem--which inevitably includes dealing with people--you get the feeling that the circular answers you continue to hear when proposing solutions aren't really answers at all? That's called the "run-around."

In Latin, the term is "cum hoc ergo propter hoc," or, "with this, therefore, because of this." Basically, a false argument or logical fallacy attempting to state that with, let's say, approval from a supervisor, therefore, because of that approval, a decision may be finalized. The technique is used to exhaust and confuse the opponent. It gives the opponent false hope that ultimately leads to  the opponent's temporary pacification. And by "opponent" I mean that person the argument is being used against. That person, poor soul, may not even know they're being opposed because of the style of argument being used. Nevertheless, it's still an argument. And ultimately, still the run-around.

It's hard to know what to do when faced with someone giving you the run-around. You may want to say, "Look, just tell me what's going on here," but that's a question you already have the answer to. If you're getting the run-around, you're not likely to get any satisfaction out of the situation--whatever it may be.

You have few choices in such a situation, but they are still yours to make:

The first, and most obvious, is not to give up. Don't let the run-around run you into a tizzy. Keep your cool. You'll outlast the roadblock. Because at some point, the person giving you the run-around will run out of excuses. And yes, in the meantime, you may want to pull out your hair...or theirs. You may want to shout out, "Will you just cut it out! I'm not stupid!!!" But you can't. Because for whatever reason, the miserable sod making your life difficult has more than likely been asked to do so by a superior. Today, SOP for any business is to push everything to its limit and see what happens. People often become frustrated in the interim, giving up. That's the best result the run-around can produce for the person deliverying it. Because then, there can be no blame.

The other choice is to confront it head-on. Let the person giving you the run-around know you're savvy to their ploy...because that's what the run-around really is, a ploy. This can quickly diffuse the situation, or, it can turn sour...fast. The person issuing the run-around may become defensive, or threatened. Instead of owning up to what's going on, the individual balks, hard. And if you're being given the run-around by a man and you yourself are a woman, you may not want to take the direct approach; inevitably, you'll get the defensive stance. But a man calling out another man has a shot at the, "Yeah, you're right. Let me see what I can do to fix this," response.

Sorry, ladies--but facts are facts. We give birth to men and that forever puts us in the unenviable position of being fucked. Male egos often need the artificial reassurance that their greatness has no end, and what has no end cannot have a beginning. Yet every penis first forms within a womb. That not only implies a beginning, but a female superior. So yes, it means that women are more likely to get the run-around from men, and when that happens, it's almost always going to be an uphill battle. Almost.

There is one other possibility when dealing with the run-around: Go above their heads. What that does is let the superior giving the direction to your runner know that you know...and then, the jig is really up: "Oh, that warranty we said had run out? Yes, here we go...you do have three more months." My personal favorite is the flat, insincere and unsympathetic, "We apologize for the confusion; it will never happen again."  

Yeah, right.

The run-around is a game about financial responsibility and legal liability. Unless you're Oprah, JK Rowling, Donald Trump, or, the Queen of England, you're bound to continue getting the run-around for most of your life by people and businesses with more money than you.There's no clearer sign of the separation between economic classes then the prevalent use of legislative run-arounds...things like the ADA come to mind.

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is a farce. If you're a business, you don't have to accomodate anyone if it isn't economically feasible. So if you're in a wheelchair or have impaired mobility, you pretty much depend on the kindness of others to say, go to the bathroom, or even enter a building at all. Without accessibility buttons, those in a wheelchair don't have the proper center of gravity to pull open a door. Even if they could, how are they supposed to open that door, and, wheel themselves through it at the same time? Cum hoc ergo propter hoc--with the ADA and therefore because of the ADA, all disabled people are protected. Uh-huh. And if you believe that, I have this snake oil I can sell you...real cheap.

I've been getting the run-around for three weeks. And it's not fun. Hopefully, the people doing it read my blog and will now cut the crap...one of my mother's favorite expressions. She has a littany of cliches in her arsenal. When I'm feeling particularly frustrated, they tend to come out. And I'm glad of it; always nice to be reminded of one's humanity...one's beginning. The implied end is scary, certainly, but no less of a relief in the scheme of things. Things like the run-around.

The bottomline is that the run-around isn't just a frustrating pro-forma corporate game, it's insulting. It says, "We can do this to you because you're too stupid to recognize it."  Even if you're not. 

April didn't just bring showers...it's a veritable storm. My wish for you, given the inclement weather, is that, like Louisa May Alcott, you have learned to sail your ship so do not fear the stormy weeks ahead.

I have. But it's not fear of the storm or my sailing skills that darkly broods amongst my weary worry lines--it's the ship itself. One can only do so much--my ship's not a water-tight yacht. Thanks to a myriad of unfortunate circumstances that had me hypothesizing about my soul's connection to Jesus, all I could afford when the flood arrived was a lousy, leaky raft. I'm still affloat, but barely. Opportunity reaches up from the waves, and when I bend over to pull it in, I take on more water!

The solution would be to get rid of the raft somehow; grow fins and a tail and jump into the sea itself. Or, I could wait out the storm. All beginnings have an end and all endings start with a sunrise. Life's conundrum is never ending. And neither is the implied humiliation. If only I could meet Professor Johnson on equal footing in the classroom--go back to 1996. Make him eat his bullying words by having him choke on a few choice ones of my own. Today, I could spank a Brit with my wit. Yestertday, I was still learning what that meant. Tomorrow, I hope not to care anymore.

Does apathy bring you closer to death? I hope so. The apathetic are a curse on humanity.

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April Showers 04/05/2012
 
My first article written for this space can't yet be published. And I can't tell you why. At least, not right now. Cruel and unusual to tease you like that? Apologies. Sadly, it will have to wait.

I can't help but think of Hitch in moments like these. Moments where I, with the responsibility of bearing witness as a writer, am actually afraid to print what I've written. And it's not paranoia. It's self-preservation.

Earlier this week, I was wondering why more national print publications didn't pick up the story on how Northeastern University administrators and faculty have been hijacking endowed funds, grants and other monies designated to educate people about the Holocaust and Judaism, and instead, are using them to spread anti-Jewish and anti-Israel sentiment. 

In light of last month's terror attack on a Jewish school in Toulouse, France that took the lives of three children and the father of two of the victims, as well as severely injuring a third man connected to the school, what came out earlier this week about Northeastern seemed appalling. Shocking, even.

Why weren't more people speaking out? Where is the ADL? Where are all the Jewish alumni of Northeastern? Heck, where is the Jewish community of Boston itself???

I'll tell you where they are: like me, they're cowering in fear of something bigger than anyone in America understands. I stumbled upon it in my research about Northeastern. It was an accident. 

But Einstein said that there are no coincidences in the Universe. So it wasn't an accident then, was it? I was meant to bear witness to it, meant to write it out here...in this essay.

Instead, the best I can do is allude to the yet-clandestine knowledge. Ironically, when my website was new, I could have expressed anything I wanted--because I had a relatively small, contained audience. Now, that's no longer the case. 

There are over 102,000 readers of my online essays; some of you are looking for something specific--like my piece on the Heelix Nebula, or on Dr. Black. Others are searching my name for reasons I don't know...from as far away as Denmark, Finland, Russia, Germany, Kuwait, Dubai, Australia, UK, Sweden, Italy, Spain, France, South America, and many other countries around the world. It's frankly awesome, and well beyond my imagings. 

Though you may be disappointed by this first April-essay, let me assure you that I will keep the trust  you placed in my proverbial pen. I will bear witness. But my hands must be patient. And so must you.  

The fear is the reason why popular culture is so important. It pacifies the masses through a barrage of constant distraction, shortening our attention span, shortening our length of concentration. We've become the idiocracy so many of us feared. And we've all been witting participants in the dance.

I have some very bright students this semester--all young people with tremendous promise. I really love them all and worry for them all, especially now. We read articles on Futurism today, and the transhumanist movements pushing people to evolve through technology. As a discussion ensued, one young man who often leads class discussions was critical of changing our bodies through technology. He said, "It's just not right."

And he's right about that. It's not. But not because of religious moralism. It's not right because it is one of those instinctive-ethics that we're born with...little voices in our collective unconscious that hint at who and what we are.

We're missing something vital, something that has yet to occur. Something that could erase the fear that has silenced not only a whole university, but a whole city and state. It has to do with humanity's evolution, too--but not through artificial means.

When we become who we are meant to be, we will be able to use that technology responsibly. Until then, like with every other new idea in the world, there will be those who exploit it for their own selfish purposes.

Right now, Earth's human population is at varying stages of its psycho-social evolution. There are many people who "get it," but many more who don't. Many are yet in their infancy in terms of their psycho-social development, looking to feed off of difference as an excuse for even more primitive behaviors like inciting fear and hatred--the kind that often leads to violence. 

I feel we're standing on the edge of a great precipice. Any moment, we may topple over the edge. But because we are still standing, there's still hope.  

I'm still standing, too.

Hope. Fear. They're one and the same--twins, if you will. You can't have one without the other. Given that innate connection, it would seem impossible to overcome the latter. There is information that will eventually help humanity arrest the need for hope, the need to fear. But it's not accessible through a screen; it can't be found on a tablet. You won't be able to receive an illuminating text.

Vedanta calls the wider world "maya," meaning cosmic illusion. The ancient philosophy also states that true reality can only be accessed through one portal: the mind. It implies the individual nature of our psycho-social evolution. Such conversion of thought can't be done through argument. No amount of persuasive rhetoric can turn the tide. Only the individual. One at a time.

Patience. The world cannot collectively receive information it's not ready for. But every moment, another mind makes the journey. And that's another moment we come closer to our true gift:

Ourselves.

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No, I'm not mental. Yes, there is evidentiary support to the contrary--three years worth--right here on this blog. I'm not saying I haven't written volumes of essays, articles--heck, even books. But for more than three years now, I haven't been able to really write. Not like I used to.

My ferocity for the act of writing itself was so great, I could literally sit for 12 or more hours and never look at a clock or stop to eat. If I lived alone, I may have never have stopped at all. Luckily, there are a few people in this world who cared enough to make me stop--at least--temporarily, just so to rehydrate, refuel, and get some sleep. Today, my writing habits are practically unrecognizable. And so am I.

The frustration of the last three years is practically palpable in every room, and very visible--on my face, my body, and the thousands of blank pages that have gone yet unfilled because of it. Why am I frustrated? The better question, as always, is why not.

There is such negativity in the world. This week alone, children as young as three years old were murdered because their parents were Jewish. To kill anyone for any reason is a remarkably horrific act. And yet, it happened. It's happened before. Sadly, it will happen again.

The world-wide scale of human apathy is vexing to all intelligent beings. And there's no real solution. Not even on a much less grand scale. Like with employers.

Any employee is there because that person can only earn potential wealth through work. So, as an employer--whether supervisor or business owner--when you fire an individual without making best efforts to help that employee, who has undoubtedly made positive contributions during their work history, it is an absolute crime. No matter how you spin a firing--down-sizing, out-sourcing, lay-offs, cut-backs, dismissal, nonrenewal, or lack of funding--you've still ruined a person's financial future. Do you know that after three years of unemployment, any individual--regardless of experience or education--is less likely to ever find the same level of employment again? Did you also know that that individual will never financially recover from that kind of blow? That, even if the fired-employee saved, say, two years of an average $40,000/year salary--or $80,000--after three years, that savings would be gone. As would any retirement savings. And any equity if the person was a home-owner. Did you know that? If you didn't, you do now. 

The thing is, while it's easy to create misery--it's even easier to create joy. And the writer in me--the infinite observer vand curious knower--is feeling a bit hopeless...and helpless.

And let me be clear: I don't write because I want to. I write because I have to.

Writing is a compulsion, not a choice. When I write for money--which doesn't happen nearly enough--it's not compulsive. It's deliberate. Well-thought out, well-researched, exquisitely detailed...but there's no soul. 

With every syllable I'm compelled to scribble, a piece of my soul emerges, blossoms, expands. It's not like I lose pieces of myself; it's more like planting seeds that only grow my capacity for compassion, joy, love...and humanity. That's why I haven't been able to write--not real writing, anyway.

For, what is the purpose of true writing, of expanding my soul, growing my capacity for humanity--when humanity has given up?

Every writer--whether paid or compelled--writes to be read. The audience is ever-present. But these days, physically present is enough. What good is writing from the soul when no one else has one...or wants to?

I blamed depression. I blamed the cruelty of others. I even blamed myself.

Blame is a funny thing. It's an illusion we use against ourselves based on our deepest fears. In some ways, Blame is a survival instinct. Without Blame, we feel alone in a crowded room. Blame connects us to each other--even if it's a dysfunctional connection.

But Blame was irrelevant. My words connect me to you, and you to me. I don't need blame for that. I need to understand why I am a writer who can't write.

Writing always helps me organize my thoughts. It's my own personal magic. Maybe that's part of the problem with the world today...no one believes in magic anymore. Or souls. Instead, they believe in things that aren't real.Artificial constructs like money and time. We need both. But neither is important enough to harm another life. Or take one.

When I do finally lose all hope for humanity, that's when the world--yours and mine--will end. Not because of a giant meteor. Not because of the apocalypse. Zombies need not apply. We're all the walking dead anyway.

My Uncle Sid, a tough guy with a heart of gold, used to say that life is long. What he meant was that there was always time to fix anything. Even the irreprable was made right, given enough time. It certainly sounds reassuring; and I quote Uncle Sid often for that purpose. But I think he was wrong.

How can killing a three-year old be made right again in this long life? How can raping and lopping off the breasts of women in Africa be corrected? How can hundreds of thousands, tortured and dead, in Iraq ever be made whole again? Or brother-Bosnians killing each other because of a difference of opinion? Or Irish, doing the same? Or more than 1,800 years of persecution? And there's more...so much more. The worst was when--in less than a decade--twelve million human beings were extinguished from the Earth. Do you know how much light was lost from the world? Twelve million souls equals as much light, as much energy, as 500 years of our burning Sun. Humanity let it happen.

Jesus asked God to forgive people, "for they know not what they do." But that's just a story. A work of fiction. The reality is that every single human on this planet knows exactly what they're doing. Some use that self-direction for good, but not enough. Not enough.

That's why I'm a writer who doesn't write. Three years ago, I suffered but a fraction of the world's cruelty...just enough to give me clarity. And now, I can't shake it. There's no going back. I reached beyond my own event horizon.

There are no words to describe what I see on the other side.

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21 JUMP STREET 03/18/2012
 
Some of you read my YEAR IN PRE-VIEW in January; in it, I talk about Channing Tatum's BIG year in Hollyhood, which is actually the result of more like thirteen years of grinding efforts on Tatum's part. At the Golden Globes, Tatum humbly spoke with pride, not about his great successes, but about his wife, Jenna Dewan, whom he met during pre-production of 2006's STEP UP. He practically glowed as spoke about his relationship with his goddess in green. And if you know anything at all about Tatum's early life--you also know he hasn't been handed anything.

As Hollywood's sees a decade of aging leading men like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and George Clooney--48, 49, and 50, respectively--fall with the rising tide of time and gravity (I don't care how magnetic Brad Pitt is, no one wants to see a 60-year old leading man...), upstarts like Tatum are primed and ready to slide over the hood and into the driver's seat.

Tatum moved around as a child, living in Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida. He earned a football scholarship to college--and in case you weren't paying attention--the boy didn't just switch school districts within the same county, or even state--he had to start from scratch every time he moved. And, he's dyslexic! I have immeasurable amounts of respect and appreciation for the difficulty Tatum faced growing up, and, his efforts since. He left college to pursue a career in modeling, moving to Miami--that takes courage for someone with no connections in the entertainment industry. His first gig was in a Ricky Martin video for "She Bangs" in the year 2000 for a lousy $400. (For shame, Ricky Martin!) Today, he's not just a pretty face, he's also a Producer, including Executive Producer of his latest WOW, 21 JUMP STREET.

As The Pop Culture ProfessorTM, I get to see a lot of movies--the good, the bad, and the ridiculously ugly. 21 JUMP STREET isn't just good. It's GREAT! And no, Tony the Tiger will not be joining this party--though I do have a sudden craving for Frosted Flakes. And speaking of Tonys, I wouldn't mind seeing Tatum on Broadway one day.... *hint, hint* 

The premise of JUMP STREET is based on Patrick Hasburgh and Stephen J. Cannell's original television series, 21 JUMP STREET, starring Johnny Depp. Richard Grieco, Holly Robinson, and Michael DeLuise (son of the 70's and 80's funny man, Dom DeLuise). Tatum and co-star, Jonah Hill, play a pair of high school enemies turned partners as adults on the police force. They are assigned to a new undercover division called 21 JUMP STREET, run by ICE CUBE (who was equally great in his role). Hijinks ensue as the two fumble their way through a high school drug ring shake down posing as students. 

Channing Tatum is not just athletic...this guy is funny as hell. And Jonah Hill knocks it out of the part as not just co-star but co-creator of the story. MONEYBALL impressed me. Until then, Hill's on-and off-screen persona as the fat, funny Jewish kid was cliche and tired...he was just another flash-in-the-funny-pan. Until MONEYBALL. There, Hill was an actor with real chops. And even though 21 JUMP STREET is plump full of pop culture references, bad language and bad jokes, Hill manages to eek out a human side to his rather vulnerable character. As does Tatum. But no surprise there. Though I didn't do a write up of THE VOW, I thought Tatum's performance was both touching and bold as the husband of an amnesiac woman; his pain was actually palpable. And that takes real talent. 

In JUMP STREET, Tatum gives what could have been a two-dimensional character life as the under-achieving athlete with heart...and soul. Early in the film, the police chief looks right into the camera, and mocks the film with a line about how no one does anything new anymore; they just rehash ideas from the 80's. Awesome! I must have laughed aloud more than a dozen times during the one-hour and fifty-minute film. 

And I'm not going to spoil any surprises...but there are a few that are worth waiting for. Trust me.

21 JUMP STREET gets a 10/10 on the Housel-scale with a great-big, "Go Tatum!!!" cheer. Nice spin on the molitov, btw!!! 

Look for Channing Tatum in June in his production, MAGIC MIKE, loosely based on his own life. Oh, and did I mention it's about male strippers??? 

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Oftentimes, parenthood is undertaken unwittingly--as if it is both a right and a rite of adult passage. You meet someone you love so naturally, you want to recreate yourselves--if you even think of  it that deeply. However, anytime you undertake dealing with a vulnerable population, like children, there are ethical implications, if not requirements.

First, let's start by defining what a "vulnerable population" is: Any single being or group of beings who are completely dependent on physical, intellectual, emotional, and/or economic superiors may be considered part of a vulnerable population. Women, children, under-represented groups, the disabled, "pet"-animals, farm animals, zoo animals, wild animals, etc. are all considered vulnerable populations.

Women are vulnerable to men because men have more muscle mass and are the dominant social group because of it--which explains why a woman and a man both performing the same job with equal education and experience, on average, make very different salaries. In such instances, women are reported as earning as much as $10,000 less. Is it because we have less muscle mass? Absolutely. Our physical difference is at the root of all patriarchal behavior. Not because I said so, either. Simply read some history. You can see it for yourself.
 
Any and all animals are vulnerable--but none more so than "pet"-animals, farm animals and zoo animals--all of whom wholly depend on humans for their care and feeding. And yet, animals, like women prior to 19th Amendment in the States, are treated like possessions. Humans only deign to care and feed animals they consider possessions--as if those animals should be grateful. Dogs have been bred by humans to be obedient companions. And it makes one wonder if humans bred such creatures for the purpose of abuse, particularly in the context of the staggering statistics on animal-abuse by the ASPCA and other organizations concerned with animal rights. Animals have no voice, which makes their abuse even worse--they cannot tell anyone what's happening. And even when they can, there are no laws in place that give animals any sort of autonomy. You can report abuse and the animal will be removed...only to die. If the abused animal is not adopted from the in-take shelter, because of over-population from animal neglect and abuse, an animal "freed" from abuse may only be free to die within months of being "saved." So  if you do not have a full time job, rent an apartment, or live in a dorm--please think twice before adopting a pet. And if you do, understand that is a lifetime commitment to love, care and feeding. You cannot get rid of the pet when that pet's existence becomes inconvenient for  you. You may not have a moral responsibility to the animal, but you do have an ethical one. Your humanity demands it.

Children and animals have a great deal in common in this regard. In some states, the age of reason isn't until the child is 14 years old. For those who are unaware, the age of reason is the age at which a State and/or Federal court will take a child's verbal and written expressions into reasonable account. In other words, that's the moment when a child can speak, and people can legally listen. But children don't know this--how could they? And 14 years of neglect and abuse is terribly scarring to anyone's psyche, let alone a person born vulnerable and raised in an abusive environment. "Pet"-animals can never be independent from the humans who care for them, but those abused children will be, eventually. And they will take that neglect and abuse into the world with them. But how an abused child later effects the wider world is only one ethical consideration. The larger question, and answer, is far more simple:

Anyone who is superior to another should use that superiority to protect those who are vulnerable. This is not an aspect of nurturing that men cannot conceive of because they lack sufficient oxytocin in their brain chemistry. It is not a theological mandate. It is part of our humanity--a privilege that comes along with our complex brains and opposable thumbs. Those very features make the issue ethical. In other words, to do what is right because it is the right thing to do, and, because we have the ability to fully know, understand, and act on that recognition--we, as human beings--are ethically-obligated to do so.

As an adult human, one has certain responsibilities to younger, less experienced, humans--regardless of genetic relationships. While this seems to be obvious to any thinking-individual, looking at government and nonprofit agency statistics on neglect and abuse in children is excellent evidence to the contrary.

A child does not have a choice in its birth. That is the first fact that must clearly be understood for full ethical consideration. And, in whatever circumstances a child is conceived is not a factor in the ethical consideration of good parenthood either. 

Because women have the right to abort pregnancy in the 21st century, there is no reason to have a child if one is ill-equipped. If religion is a factor in an unwanted pregnancy by an unmarried woman, than she should not have gotten pregnant in the first place, rendering the argument against early abortion obsolete. Unless it's a case of rape--in which, there are religious exceptions. Some religions do not permit use of birth control. Again, these same theologies enforce abstinance prior to marriage--rendering the argument against the use of birth control obsolete for believers who are unmarried. You can't pick and choose. If you believe, than you won't have sex before marriage. In other words, if an unmarried person is so religious that abortion and birth control cannot be considered in light of an unwanted pregnancy, than the act that brought about the pregnancy should have been equally so--but as it wasn't, there is no reasonable excuse not to use birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy or abortion should an unwanted pregnancy occur. 

The caveat for women with abortion is that it is not something that should be undertaken unless in an extreme circumstance. Abortion is not a form of birth control; it is an invasive surgery that has innate risks, some of which include permanent physical damage to the woman undertaking it. There are also ethical considerations with abortion--particularly abortions performed after the second month of pregnancy. In other words, we do not really know when self-awareness takes place in fetal development. Once it does, abortion becomes unethical on a human level, regardless of religious affiliation. Birth control is the best method to avoid unwanted pregnancy when sexually active--whether one is married or not.

All of these factors matter ethically first, theologically second. As a baby, you are first born human--later, you are assigned a religion by your parents or choose one on your own as an adult. Doing what is right because it is right is the first priority then. Religion is a choice. Your humanity is not. 

If your religion puts you in a position--whether you are married or single--where you have an unwanted pregnancy or are likely to--then ethically, you must completedly withdraw from, or change, your theological affiliation for the good of humanity. And if you do not wish to do so, continuing with the unwanted pregnancy, you have no excuse for your misery about the situation. There is a choice. Many, in fact. And to ignore those choices because of social or familial pressure is simply selfish. To excuse future misery or cruelty toward the child and/or expect gratitude from the child for your "sacrifice" is unreasonable. You made the choice. The child born innocent into the world had none. Therefore, you are ethically bound, by your humanity first, theology second (if applicable), to treat the child lovingly and with great care, giving the individual opportunities to grow, learn and thrive. 

There's nothing to negotiate. Good parenting is not a question to be answered. It is not a sacrifice. Parenthood is a serious task that must be undertaken with equal gravity. As human beings, regardless of religious beliefs, we are all ethically-bound to do so. To do anything but your best as a parent is ethically-reprehensible.

Too harsh? Look at world-history. Where does the evil of humanity derive from, first and foremost? Bad parenting. I'm not talking about your mom not allowing you to have a toy you wanted as a child or your dad making you get a job at 16. I'm talking about those people who undertook parenting for all the wrong reasons, and then, took out their frustration (at their own stupidity) on the innocents born into the situation--the ones who had no choice in the matter and so, were, and are, totally vulnerable.

And although I'm an academic today, I'm not feeding you erudite-blather from my ivory-tower: I was a mother at age 18. While certainly surprised to find myself pregnant, the pregnancy itself was not unwanted. I was thrilled to be a mother. And unlike the MTV portrayal of teen-motherhood, my experience was far less dramatic. True, you must work twice as hard to get an education and pursue a career, but so what? I'm a woman. I had to work twice as hard anyway. I did not resent my child for it or any other reason--not even for a moment. And I was not rich. I was not married. I did not have supportive parents or friends. But I could read. And there is no end to parenting books, books on how to have a healthy pregnancy, books on how to best help your child learn and grow, books on saving for your child's future education...essentially, I made a serious choice and even at 18 years old, knew it and acted not only responsibly, but ethically--for myself, my child, and the wider world.

Being a good parent has its own rewards, but that's not why one strives for good parenting. You strive to be a good parent because you want to help your child grow into a strong, independent, successful adult. And you want to help your child because you can.

But not all parents are good parents. Because not all parents are good people.

Parenthood is not a right. Or a rite. It's a privilege. A responsibility to yourself, your child, and all of humanity.

To those in the midst of parenthood, exam your parenting ethics today. It's never too late.

To those considering parenthood, think ethically first, theologically second.

And for those who are the victims of unethical parents, know that you now have a choice.

Thoreau included a healthy child in his list of ways to improve the world as an individual; and he did not just mean physically healthy. Thoreau implied complete health--and that requires ethical parenting. To do any less is to subject the world to your stupidity, your selfishness and your lack of overall humanity. Those are things all people--especially parents--should keep to themselves.




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