No, I'm not mental. Yes, there is evidentiary support to the contrary--three years worth--right here on this blog. I'm not saying I haven't written volumes of essays, articles--heck, even books. But for more than three years now, I haven't been able to really write. Not like I used to.

My ferocity for the act of writing itself was so great, I could literally sit for 12 or more hours and never look at a clock or stop to eat. If I lived alone, I may have never have stopped at all. Luckily, there are a few people in this world who cared enough to make me stop--at least--temporarily, just so to rehydrate, refuel, and get some sleep. Today, my writing habits are practically unrecognizable. And so am I.

The frustration of the last three years is practically palpable in every room, and very visible--on my face, my body, and the thousands of blank pages that have gone yet unfilled because of it. Why am I frustrated? The better question, as always, is why not.

There is such negativity in the world. This week alone, children as young as three years old were murdered because their parents were Jewish. To kill anyone for any reason is a remarkably horrific act. And yet, it happened. It's happened before. Sadly, it will happen again.

The world-wide scale of human apathy is vexing to all intelligent beings. And there's no real solution. Not even on a much less grand scale. Like with employers.

Any employee is there because that person can only earn potential wealth through work. So, as an employer--whether supervisor or business owner--when you fire an individual without making best efforts to help that employee, who has undoubtedly made positive contributions during their work history, it is an absolute crime. No matter how you spin a firing--down-sizing, out-sourcing, lay-offs, cut-backs, dismissal, nonrenewal, or lack of funding--you've still ruined a person's financial future. Do you know that after three years of unemployment, any individual--regardless of experience or education--is less likely to ever find the same level of employment again? Did you also know that that individual will never financially recover from that kind of blow? That, even if the fired-employee saved, say, two years of an average $40,000/year salary--or $80,000--after three years, that savings would be gone. As would any retirement savings. And any equity if the person was a home-owner. Did you know that? If you didn't, you do now. 

The thing is, while it's easy to create misery--it's even easier to create joy. And the writer in me--the infinite observer vand curious knower--is feeling a bit hopeless...and helpless.

And let me be clear: I don't write because I want to. I write because I have to.

Writing is a compulsion, not a choice. When I write for money--which doesn't happen nearly enough--it's not compulsive. It's deliberate. Well-thought out, well-researched, exquisitely detailed...but there's no soul. 

With every syllable I'm compelled to scribble, a piece of my soul emerges, blossoms, expands. It's not like I lose pieces of myself; it's more like planting seeds that only grow my capacity for compassion, joy, love...and humanity. That's why I haven't been able to write--not real writing, anyway.

For, what is the purpose of true writing, of expanding my soul, growing my capacity for humanity--when humanity has given up?

Every writer--whether paid or compelled--writes to be read. The audience is ever-present. But these days, physically present is enough. What good is writing from the soul when no one else has one...or wants to?

I blamed depression. I blamed the cruelty of others. I even blamed myself.

Blame is a funny thing. It's an illusion we use against ourselves based on our deepest fears. In some ways, Blame is a survival instinct. Without Blame, we feel alone in a crowded room. Blame connects us to each other--even if it's a dysfunctional connection.

But Blame was irrelevant. My words connect me to you, and you to me. I don't need blame for that. I need to understand why I am a writer who can't write.

Writing always helps me organize my thoughts. It's my own personal magic. Maybe that's part of the problem with the world today...no one believes in magic anymore. Or souls. Instead, they believe in things that aren't real.Artificial constructs like money and time. We need both. But neither is important enough to harm another life. Or take one.

When I do finally lose all hope for humanity, that's when the world--yours and mine--will end. Not because of a giant meteor. Not because of the apocalypse. Zombies need not apply. We're all the walking dead anyway.

My Uncle Sid, a tough guy with a heart of gold, used to say that life is long. What he meant was that there was always time to fix anything. Even the irreprable was made right, given enough time. It certainly sounds reassuring; and I quote Uncle Sid often for that purpose. But I think he was wrong.

How can killing a three-year old be made right again in this long life? How can raping and lopping off the breasts of women in Africa be corrected? How can hundreds of thousands, tortured and dead, in Iraq ever be made whole again? Or brother-Bosnians killing each other because of a difference of opinion? Or Irish, doing the same? Or more than 1,800 years of persecution? And there's more...so much more. The worst was when--in less than a decade--twelve million human beings were extinguished from the Earth. Do you know how much light was lost from the world? Twelve million souls equals as much light, as much energy, as 500 years of our burning Sun. Humanity let it happen.

Jesus asked God to forgive people, "for they know not what they do." But that's just a story. A work of fiction. The reality is that every single human on this planet knows exactly what they're doing. Some use that self-direction for good, but not enough. Not enough.

That's why I'm a writer who doesn't write. Three years ago, I suffered but a fraction of the world's cruelty...just enough to give me clarity. And now, I can't shake it. There's no going back. I reached beyond my own event horizon.

There are no words to describe what I see on the other side.

Oftentimes, parenthood is undertaken unwittingly--as if it is both a right and a rite of adult passage. You meet someone you love so naturally, you want to recreate yourselves--if you even think of  it that deeply. However, anytime you undertake dealing with a vulnerable population, like children, there are ethical implications, if not requirements.

First, let's start by defining what a "vulnerable population" is: Any single being or group of beings who are completely dependent on physical, intellectual, emotional, and/or economic superiors may be considered part of a vulnerable population. Women, children, under-represented groups, the disabled, "pet"-animals, farm animals, zoo animals, wild animals, etc. are all considered vulnerable populations.

Women are vulnerable to men because men have more muscle mass and are the dominant social group because of it--which explains why a woman and a man both performing the same job with equal education and experience, on average, make very different salaries. In such instances, women are reported as earning as much as $10,000 less. Is it because we have less muscle mass? Absolutely. Our physical difference is at the root of all patriarchal behavior. Not because I said so, either. Simply read some history. You can see it for yourself.
 
Any and all animals are vulnerable--but none more so than "pet"-animals, farm animals and zoo animals--all of whom wholly depend on humans for their care and feeding. And yet, animals, like women prior to 19th Amendment in the States, are treated like possessions. Humans only deign to care and feed animals they consider possessions--as if those animals should be grateful. Dogs have been bred by humans to be obedient companions. And it makes one wonder if humans bred such creatures for the purpose of abuse, particularly in the context of the staggering statistics on animal-abuse by the ASPCA and other organizations concerned with animal rights. Animals have no voice, which makes their abuse even worse--they cannot tell anyone what's happening. And even when they can, there are no laws in place that give animals any sort of autonomy. You can report abuse and the animal will be removed...only to die. If the abused animal is not adopted from the in-take shelter, because of over-population from animal neglect and abuse, an animal "freed" from abuse may only be free to die within months of being "saved." So  if you do not have a full time job, rent an apartment, or live in a dorm--please think twice before adopting a pet. And if you do, understand that is a lifetime commitment to love, care and feeding. You cannot get rid of the pet when that pet's existence becomes inconvenient for  you. You may not have a moral responsibility to the animal, but you do have an ethical one. Your humanity demands it.

Children and animals have a great deal in common in this regard. In some states, the age of reason isn't until the child is 14 years old. For those who are unaware, the age of reason is the age at which a State and/or Federal court will take a child's verbal and written expressions into reasonable account. In other words, that's the moment when a child can speak, and people can legally listen. But children don't know this--how could they? And 14 years of neglect and abuse is terribly scarring to anyone's psyche, let alone a person born vulnerable and raised in an abusive environment. "Pet"-animals can never be independent from the humans who care for them, but those abused children will be, eventually. And they will take that neglect and abuse into the world with them. But how an abused child later effects the wider world is only one ethical consideration. The larger question, and answer, is far more simple:

Anyone who is superior to another should use that superiority to protect those who are vulnerable. This is not an aspect of nurturing that men cannot conceive of because they lack sufficient oxytocin in their brain chemistry. It is not a theological mandate. It is part of our humanity--a privilege that comes along with our complex brains and opposable thumbs. Those very features make the issue ethical. In other words, to do what is right because it is the right thing to do, and, because we have the ability to fully know, understand, and act on that recognition--we, as human beings--are ethically-obligated to do so.

As an adult human, one has certain responsibilities to younger, less experienced, humans--regardless of genetic relationships. While this seems to be obvious to any thinking-individual, looking at government and nonprofit agency statistics on neglect and abuse in children is excellent evidence to the contrary.

A child does not have a choice in its birth. That is the first fact that must clearly be understood for full ethical consideration. And, in whatever circumstances a child is conceived is not a factor in the ethical consideration of good parenthood either. 

Because women have the right to abort pregnancy in the 21st century, there is no reason to have a child if one is ill-equipped. If religion is a factor in an unwanted pregnancy by an unmarried woman, than she should not have gotten pregnant in the first place, rendering the argument against early abortion obsolete. Unless it's a case of rape--in which, there are religious exceptions. Some religions do not permit use of birth control. Again, these same theologies enforce abstinance prior to marriage--rendering the argument against the use of birth control obsolete for believers who are unmarried. You can't pick and choose. If you believe, than you won't have sex before marriage. In other words, if an unmarried person is so religious that abortion and birth control cannot be considered in light of an unwanted pregnancy, than the act that brought about the pregnancy should have been equally so--but as it wasn't, there is no reasonable excuse not to use birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy or abortion should an unwanted pregnancy occur. 

The caveat for women with abortion is that it is not something that should be undertaken unless in an extreme circumstance. Abortion is not a form of birth control; it is an invasive surgery that has innate risks, some of which include permanent physical damage to the woman undertaking it. There are also ethical considerations with abortion--particularly abortions performed after the second month of pregnancy. In other words, we do not really know when self-awareness takes place in fetal development. Once it does, abortion becomes unethical on a human level, regardless of religious affiliation. Birth control is the best method to avoid unwanted pregnancy when sexually active--whether one is married or not.

All of these factors matter ethically first, theologically second. As a baby, you are first born human--later, you are assigned a religion by your parents or choose one on your own as an adult. Doing what is right because it is right is the first priority then. Religion is a choice. Your humanity is not. 

If your religion puts you in a position--whether you are married or single--where you have an unwanted pregnancy or are likely to--then ethically, you must completedly withdraw from, or change, your theological affiliation for the good of humanity. And if you do not wish to do so, continuing with the unwanted pregnancy, you have no excuse for your misery about the situation. There is a choice. Many, in fact. And to ignore those choices because of social or familial pressure is simply selfish. To excuse future misery or cruelty toward the child and/or expect gratitude from the child for your "sacrifice" is unreasonable. You made the choice. The child born innocent into the world had none. Therefore, you are ethically bound, by your humanity first, theology second (if applicable), to treat the child lovingly and with great care, giving the individual opportunities to grow, learn and thrive. 

There's nothing to negotiate. Good parenting is not a question to be answered. It is not a sacrifice. Parenthood is a serious task that must be undertaken with equal gravity. As human beings, regardless of religious beliefs, we are all ethically-bound to do so. To do anything but your best as a parent is ethically-reprehensible.

Too harsh? Look at world-history. Where does the evil of humanity derive from, first and foremost? Bad parenting. I'm not talking about your mom not allowing you to have a toy you wanted as a child or your dad making you get a job at 16. I'm talking about those people who undertook parenting for all the wrong reasons, and then, took out their frustration (at their own stupidity) on the innocents born into the situation--the ones who had no choice in the matter and so, were, and are, totally vulnerable.

And although I'm an academic today, I'm not feeding you erudite-blather from my ivory-tower: I was a mother at age 18. While certainly surprised to find myself pregnant, the pregnancy itself was not unwanted. I was thrilled to be a mother. And unlike the MTV portrayal of teen-motherhood, my experience was far less dramatic. True, you must work twice as hard to get an education and pursue a career, but so what? I'm a woman. I had to work twice as hard anyway. I did not resent my child for it or any other reason--not even for a moment. And I was not rich. I was not married. I did not have supportive parents or friends. But I could read. And there is no end to parenting books, books on how to have a healthy pregnancy, books on how to best help your child learn and grow, books on saving for your child's future education...essentially, I made a serious choice and even at 18 years old, knew it and acted not only responsibly, but ethically--for myself, my child, and the wider world.

Being a good parent has its own rewards, but that's not why one strives for good parenting. You strive to be a good parent because you want to help your child grow into a strong, independent, successful adult. And you want to help your child because you can.

But not all parents are good parents. Because not all parents are good people.

Parenthood is not a right. Or a rite. It's a privilege. A responsibility to yourself, your child, and all of humanity.

To those in the midst of parenthood, exam your parenting ethics today. It's never too late.

To those considering parenthood, think ethically first, theologically second.

And for those who are the victims of unethical parents, know that you now have a choice.

Thoreau included a healthy child in his list of ways to improve the world as an individual; and he did not just mean physically healthy. Thoreau implied complete health--and that requires ethical parenting. To do any less is to subject the world to your stupidity, your selfishness and your lack of overall humanity. Those are things all people--especially parents--should keep to themselves.

Today  we leapt ahead an hour; it's also known as March Madness. March Madness has nothing to do with springing ahead--not really. It has to do with men's NCAA basketball. That's the mad part of it. But even without the NCAA, March is a month of madness.

The Northern Hemisphere of Earth will begin to tilt closer to the Sun in mid-March--nine days from today. The Sun will be at its zenith over the equator--this year, on March 20th at 5:14am UT (Universal Time). However, Julius Caesar had fixed the vernal equinox as March 25th in 45 B. C. E. (Before the Common Era) in what is historically referred to as the Julian calendar. But about 1,500 years later, Pope Gregory XIII, working with a Jesuit and astronomer named Christopher Clavius, creating the Gregorian calendar. The switch reinstituted fixing Easter through use of lunar phases based on the Hebrew calendar (explaining why Easter and Passover tend to intersect--Christ's "Last Supper" was, in fact, a Passover seder), and, it also shifted the vernal equinox to on or around March 21st. Gregory XIII had no intention of validating a Roman Emperor's perspective--given the role of Romans in the death of Christ. 

Interestingly, Julius Caesar died one year after the creation of the Julian calendar. And he died in March. The Ides of March, to be specific. Ides comes from the Latin "idus" which means in the middle of or to divide halfway. The word ides was used to describe the half-way point of other months during Caesar's time as well.

Caesar was stabbed 23 times on the Ides of March in the Roman Senate by Roman Senators. There were two leaders in the betrayal, including Brutus, made famous by Shakespeare in his play, Julius Caesar, with the line, "Et tu, Brute?" According to Plutarch, there was a total of 60 conspirators...or those whose silence allowed the atrocity to occur.

But what was behind Brutus's March Madness, besides an unquenchable thirst for power?

Brutus may have been Julius Caesar's biological son; Brutus's mother was one of Caesar's known mistresses. And Brutus's madness was apparent at least one year before he betrayed his Emperor--though in truth, despite some details being lost in time, it's clear that Brutus was a cruel man who profitted from other people's misery. But no matter what Brutus did, Caesar forgave him--even promoted him, adding more validity to the speculation Brutus was Caesar's biological son. In 45 B.C.E., one year before he murdered Caesar, Brutus divorced his wife, Claudia--a political marriage for her family--and married his half-first cousin, Portia. It was scandalous, not because of their closely linked genetics, but because Brutus essentially had no reason for divorcing his first wife outside of wanting a new one. Brutus was beginning to show social cracks in his mad psyche, but like his blood-lust, like his thievery, the cracks were ignored. It's an interesting parallel in 2012, an election year in the States, but also, a year with incredibly bizarre global weather. The cracks are showing--socially and physically. Just like Brutus.

The word vernal comes from the Latin "ver" which means spring or green as in "spring greenery." The vernal equinox is based on a Northern Hemispheric  perspective; March 20th is actually fall in the Southern Hemisphere. As the Northern Hemisphere tilts closer to the Sun, the Southern Hemisphere begins to tilt further away. The equinox represents that dualism. One part of Earth is closer to the Sun while another is yet further away. One part of Brutus loved his father, while another part resented him. 

There is only one other time of year where our eternal dualism, caught in binary opposition, sheds equal light on the cracks. In Caesar's time, March was named after the Roman god of war, Mars (Aries). The Ides of March was a Roman holiday, usually celebrated with a military parade. As we move through the month of March, keep Brutus in mind. Remember Caesar. And, Mars.

Spring is green, but before it's green--it's rather muddy. March is a transitional month--not just in the physical world, but historically, too. 

Tread lightly during March Madness, friends...tread lightly.



 

Last hour of a day that only comes once every four years. That's got to mean something, don't you think?

Where were you four years ago today and where will you be in another four? Four years ago today, I can't tell you what was happening. I know. I just can't express it. Am I in a better place? In some respects, perhaps, but mostly, no--not really. Where will I be, then, four years from now? Well, that will be 2016. I'll be turning 45. I hope. I was about to say that I can't even imagine where I'll be, but  that's not entirely  true. I can imagine. Good. And bad.

Where will my family be? My friends? I don't know. It's like looking into a fog. Because, four years ago today, I imagined I'd be in a very different place. I imagined I'd be there with people who are no longer alive. I imagined so many things. And in looking backward, it's hard to see that so much happened that I could not imagine, believe...or even want. Looking ahead four years, what I want seems less relevant. It makes me believe that in the last four years, I have gotten old. Not older. But old.

I'm jaded now. It took 40 years, but it's happened. And I'm sorry for it. Sun Tzu would be proud. Prouder still if I took that change and used it to get the upper hand on my enemies. I love people who claim to have no enemies. Those deluded souls believe their own lies. I don't lie--not because I don't want to--but because I'm not very good at it. Terrible, in fact.

Sometimes though, I use hope to attempt to lie to myself. Yes, that means there's underlying fear. My humanity makes me vulnerable. Fear is to be expected. But courage isn't. And to my own detriment, I never fail in acting with a courageous heart. A good thing? Sun Tzu would disagree.

In the next four years, no matter what happens to my mind, my body,  or my very life--I know I can accomplish at least one thing amidst the fog of the future: Continue to live as courageously as possible. I sometimes think cowardice would be easier. And it would be. So would apathy. But I can't pull it off. Any of it. I'm too honest.

The irony?

Because of my honesty, I'm persecuted. A simple thorn can disable a lion. Honesty and courage do not success make. If you're honest, Sun Tzu disciples call you a liar--always turn the tables on your enemy before they can recognize you are not a friend. If you're courageous, Sun Tzu would recommend your enemy put that to the test. Will you pass the test? Of course you will. But the point of the test is to weaken you, not kill you. Weaken you to lessen your strength--your conviction. That is the real moment of victory. Once a lion is humbled, he will never roar as loudly again. There may be future battles, but the war is essentially over.

Your enemies are lucky, whoever they are--because while they devour from beneath you--life takes bites out of you from other angles.

It's a conundrum. Like the parent-child relationship. Doomed to be imperfect. Destined to lead to grief. And while you can't change your fate, you can change what you do in between. I can change what I do in between. Med school? Law school? Astrophysics? Or, the Great American Novel?

You can probably guess my first choice: The novel. A thinly veiled "fiction," but all writers write what they know. And so, I ask my enemies, who certainly read this blog as good disciples of Sun Tzu: What is it that I know?

Ah. Here's where the lion bites back.

The thorn will always hurt, but the skin will heal over it. The lion will learn to walk again.

There's now 20 minutes left in this last hour that will not repeat for another four years. What is important isn't where you are or where you are going. That sounds ludicrous, doesn't it? But it's entirely true. Getting ahead in human terms is a weak definition of evolution. What truly matters between today and the next February 29th is that, no matter what happens, you take the leap.

Leap! Keep your courage in your right hand, your heart in your left. Let honesty light on your tongue and nest there. Because in four years time, regardless of what you expected, if you leap--every, single day--you will not have any true regrets. Know why? Because Sun Tzu never actually fought in the Battle of Boju. He trained a harem, not soldiers. And do you know how? By bullying unarmed women, killing those who didn't comply. How noble. 

Don't be like Sun Tzu. Leap. Leap into the next four years and measure their value by how much you value yourself, your integrity. For we are nothing without our integrity. Those without it may seem to be getting ahead--like Sun Tzu--but material gains are artificial. Your soul, however, isn't.

There is a choice. And when you make it, I hope you choose to LEAP. 

No one wants to believe it's true. Nihilism. The philosophical perspective that touts that life is, in its essence, meaningless. It's not meaningless when and while you're in it because you have opportunity to learn through social exchange as a physical being. Without our physical limits, however, there can be no learning. But does that mean that life itself is meaningless?

You need eyes to see. Ears to hear. Skin to touch. A mouth to taste. And a brain, to process it all. If the soul exists, it is not--cannot be--physical. All theologians must agree. So why is it, then, that we insist on assigning our experience as physical beings to post-physical life? Part of the reason is that it's easier to think of our own mortality through that chosen lens. Our physical lives end. There are no exceptions, despite best attempts by science and fiction. When our bodies die, if we have souls or energies or however you best like to think of it, there is an implied existence but it cannot be be as we perceive our physical lives. Has energy ever written a book? Kept a blog? Listened and wept to Beethoven? Been seduced by the dance? Is there a market share for souls? Do advertisers worry how energy perceives their commercials in order to boost sales? Does a soul stand? Eat? Sit? Drink? Without a body, how can it?

True, there is much beyond our imaginings as humans, confined as we are to physical limits. There may be more to the life of energy, to the life of the soul, than we can know. All we do know is that for unpredictable number of rotations around the Sun, we are physical. We can find meaning in our own physicality and the physicality of others and the natural world. We can find joy and pain, pleasure and horror, love and disgust. We look for "soul-mates" to define our physical lives even further, even though a great majority of humans place a very high value on physical chemistry in order to identify these supposed mates of the soul. As we age, our physical bodies begin to show signs of withering, of our impermanence. And we then begin to invest our physical bodies and physical monies into material items that make us feel more secure in our own physicality--things like clothing, jewelry, shoes, make up, boats, houses, cars, and a plethora of other items that bring us physical comfort, or that decorate, enhance, or otherwise celebrate our physicality. We use our investment in our physicality for sex, a physical act, that can produce other physical bodies we call "children." And children are a way to manifest our shared genetics, the building blocks of our physicality, so that some piece of our physical selves continues on into some imagined eternity.

As a society, people spend millions, billions, on the upkeep of their physical selves--a body that in the span of less than ten decades--dies. Withers. Decomposes. And eventually, disappears from physical existence altogether.

The strong evidence above is proofre's strong evidence that our existence is defined by, and is therefore meaningful because of, our physicality. So how and where does Nihilism fit in?

Because, once your physicality has ended, whether through natural death  from old age, cancer, a car accident, a freak accident, an act of God, or the musings of a mad man, the meaning of your physical existence has ended. Gone. Never to return. You can never speak again. Hear again. Think again. Write again. Whatever you accomplished before your physical end, unless you painted a Monet or sculpted the David or wrote Moby Dick, goes into the human-ether, remaining in the consciousness of those who knew you until their physical deaths. If you're lucky, your physical image will remain important to some of your future generations. You'll be a distant thought until too many generations pass. Your grandchildren are gone and their grandchildren know only half-truths, if anything at all. When your photo is found in its dusty frame, the last vestige of your physicality, will it be recycled? Sold to an auction house? Used in a school project that ends up in a basement somewhere? All the things you did--the good, the bad, and the humanly ugly--will have been long forgotten. All the things you learned on your journey as a human being, lost in the annals of time and space.

Is life meaningless? Not while you're in it. While you're in it, you assign yourself more meaning than you're likely worth. You assign your material items value, then, insure those values to even further prove the unprovable: You, and your physical life, matter.

Take it one step further: Let's say that while living our physical lives, we connect at the soul as well. If you do harm, you hurt the pool of collected souls or energies that some think of as God. If you do good, you improve it. That would certainly equate to our perception of physical justice, but how can there be an eye for an eye if we no longer have eyes? How can we turn the other cheek when we have no face?

We can only prove our physical existence. There is no evidence that said existence has implied meaning outside of our physical selves. You can point to any religious texts you want; ALL were written by humans in the midst of their physicality. Which means, ALL are skewed by that same physicality.

Essentially, we know we're here. Right now. And that is all we can ever truly know. What happens after our physical lives end, if anything, is a guessing game based on presumptions, assumptions, and suppositions. Would you define your life by a supposition? Make an assumption your mantra? Use a presumption as the rule of law? OR, would you use what you know to be true as the basis for your life? To live fully and well while you may, as there is no evidence that life as we know it continues after our physical bodies die?

The idea behind Nihilism isn't that life is meaningless so you can do whatever you want--it's the exact opposite. Be self-responsible, be caring, be generous, loving, kind while you can. You will not get another opportunity. The people you encounter will die along with you. Even if reincarnation is true, you will never live this same life again. You only have one chance to do the right thing--for yourself, for others, for the world. If life only has meaning while you live it, why would you choose to do otherwise? And though there is an abundance of humans who refuse to acknowledge the truth, that's not your problem. Your problem is living your best life and living it now. Not tomorrow. Not in Heaven. Or Hell. Or wherever you believe you may go after your physical body has found its end.

Today.

And without excuse. 

At the start of every new year, I develop a number of pieces that talk about new beginnings, making goals, and working toward moving your life in the direction you want it to go. In the meantime, I've been doing the same thing. I was curious to look back on the last year, and the year before that--to February 2011 and February 2010--and see where I was and if today, I'm in a better place, or at least, have made progress toward improvement. 

Essentially, you can think you are doing things to move forward, feel you're making new beginnings, imagine working toward goals--but how do you keep track of your efforts? Confident people always think they are doing the right thing, whether they are or aren't. Keeping a journal or blog can help maintain a system of self-checks-and-balances.

For me, in February 2010, I was writing a memorial to my friend, Susan Steed Allen, who passed away on March 1, 2009. In 2010, I was working on growing out my hair for the second time to donate to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths for the American Cancer Society in Sue's honor. Something I did in 2009 as well. And I did donate 12 inches again in March 2011. That shows some forward momentum but I was looking for more.

This week in February 2011, I was apparently watching a great deal of movies and creating new, healthy Pop Culture Cooking recipes. So far in 2012, I've only seen two movies in two months and have barely turned on a burner, let alone create whole new recipes. I was also working out 5 days a week last February and doing more snowshoeing and winter hikes than at any other time in my life. This year, I'm not exactly on track there. But does that mean I'm not working toward my goal of moving my life forward?

Let's see:

While 2012 isn't exactly a disco-party, I had a deadline for a book chapter in late January and one for the end of February. The Pop Culture Professor also had herself a great two-hour interview with USA TODAY book critic, Deirdre Donahue; the resulting four-lines in a piece on Amanda Hocking was printed on January 3, 2012. Then, I got an invite last month from the Boston Comic Con promoter to speak on X-Men, True Blood and Twilight at the Hynes Center in Boston on April 22nd.

That sounds like progress, doesn't it? And yet, I feel less on task than I did one year ago when none of it existed.

Seems like "moving forward" isn't as cut-and-dry as making a list, checking it twice, and seeing results in a year...or even two. We all tend to think in a very linear way even though the world moves in clear cycles. Cycles imply ups and downs. So while one area of our lives may be in the up part of a given cycle, another could very well be on the down-cycle. It's a rare moment when everything improves simultaneously. So rare, I've never seen it in my lifetime. At least, not yet.

By February 2011, I had my 20th anniversary comedy gig set up for June at Nick's in Boston. I was back to my physical peak, lifting ridiculous amounts of weights, rowing for 30 minutes at 35 strokes/minute and barely out of breath. I could snowshoe for miles, hike in the ice and snow for hours. Weirdly, most of my life was in balance despite the lack of a very large, very important component. But sometime after mid-June 2011, and, after experiencing yet another trauma, I was unable to maintain that balance in the same way. So when I look back to February 2011, I see progress from February 2010 but don't yet feel it in 2012. 

A good analogy may be something like paying off a car loan or education loan but finding you now have an equivalent balance to what you just paid off on your credit card. It's a shake-your-head-and-roll-your-eyes moment. Three steps forward, two steps back.

In some ways, it reminds me of cancer. You can have a perfect life, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect job, perfect spouse, and perfect friends, until you learn that you have cancer--and then, everything that is perfect isn't...and can never be again. Divorce, loss of employment and bankruptcy do something similar. It takes years upon years to get your balance back. But that's not to say you're unsuccessful in moving forward in between. 

We're conditioned in 21st century society to expect immediate results. But cycles aren't about instant gratification. It's about taking your time. Figuring things out. And avoiding previous pitfalls that may have plagued you in the past. In short, a cycle is a journey. And at the end of one journey, a new beginning emerges. That's not exactly a comforting thought, true--but what is comforting is understanding that to stay on track, you don't have to walk a straight line. In fact, walking a straight line may take you somewhere else entirely. You may walk the diameter of a given cycle, cutting out half the journey, only to end up in a similar position again.

It's good to look backwards, to check on your progress. It's also necessary to fix a point of origin for your return. In any three-dimensional space, though there are six points that may define that space, you need a seventh to both know where you're going and where you have been. That's what looking backward is all about. Finding the seventh point. And following it home.

What progress do I hope to make by February 2013? You'll read more about that in the coming months. The more important question today is, where do YOU want to be one year from today, February 18, 2012?

Assess where you are in your journey, what points are fixed and what points are not. And most importantly, forgive yourself if you have a sense you've lagged a bit, remained static, or, maybe even have had some backward movement. The whole point of today's piece is to tell you there is no such thing as backward movement. We only ever move closer to the pinnacle of our cycle--no matter what stage we think we're in at a given moment.

To say you'd like to be in Hawaii by February 2013 is easy. Even easier, go online, get out your credit card, and make the reservations. But you still have to pay for it. You still have to earn the money to pay for it. And still have to consider your job, vacation time--if you have any, who will watch your house, your dog, your kids, parakeets, ferrets--or whatever you have in your life that you are responsible for--besides you, that is. Just making the reservations and putting it all on your credit card is not as proactive as it may seem at first glance. All that does is create the illusion of forward momentum. In the end, you're only setting yourself up for failure.

Look for "real" solutions to the obstacles in your life. Put down the iPad. Step away from the iPhone. Leave your laptop out of the equation.

It's all about YOU now.

Good luck!  

From pop culture to philosophy, this blog has it all. And to kick off February, we're going to get a little philosophical. Philosophy is the voice of reason in a mad, mad world. A world where parents hate their own children, disabled people are treated like lepers for simply surviving (the nerve!), anti-Semiticism persists, racism, misogyny, and people who stand up for what's right aren't called heroes anymore but things like "snitch" and "whistleblower." You can't trust anybody. That's why people have turned to technology to find life partners and get important information like world news.

Here's a for instance for you to ponder; call it an example of the madness I'm talking about above:

A beloved, award-winning teacher goes through not one but multiple cancer diagnoses that leaves the teacher visibly disabled, but all the more enthusiastic and grateful for life. The people who called themselves colleagues despised this teacher out of jealousy at first, which later turned into suspicion--how could anyone have survived that and be so, so...happy? The hatred became so consuming that these "colleagues" made it their singular mission with Hitler-esque focus and Nazi-like force to ruin an otherwise innocent person's life. Drive the teacher out of not just the school and district, but the very profession this teacher's life was dedicated to.

I wish I could tell you that this was like a Hollywood movie, where the teacher finds a sympathetic person who takes a chance, giving the teacher a new job, and subsequently, a new lease on life. Or maybe, the teacher, down and out with no money, finds a winning lottery ticket on the way to the unemployment office. If this were a supernatural flick, the teacher would get a vampire or werewolf bite while weeping on a park bench, evolve into a sympathetic monster and then go about taking justified revenge, reclaiming agency over the hopelessness that comes when robbed of the ability to earn. Maybe it's more of a fairytale, where a Rumpelstiltskin- or fairy godmother-like character make an appearance to the hapless teacher, on the brink of bankruptcy and considering suicide, and gives the teacher the ability to go back in time and fix what happened, fix the nasty colleagues, and regain 100-fold all the teacher lost. Superheroic twist? Okay. The teacher, so distraught at all that happened, is distracted while packing up and loosens an exposed brick that shouldn't be loosened, releasing a radioactive gas. The teacher passes out and wakes the next day to the janitor knocking on the office door, looking to gain entry to collect the garbage. The teacher feels super-strange, everything is louder, clearer and there's a strength and quickness of movement the teacher has never had before. Learning quickly, the teacher recognizes the new superheroic talents and uses them to set the world aright. Picture a be-spectacled, be-suited colleague hanging from a fourth-floor window begging for life, offering anything for that privilege.

Sadly, none of these scenarios are real. So what really happens to a person in a similar position to our unfortunate teacher?

Depression. Health problems. Blackballed from the profession. Loss of retirement and life savings. Debt. And any number of other related unfortunate events that come along with being hopeless and helpless. Use your imagination. Welfare. Food stamps. You get the idea, don't you?

And the nasty colleagues? Oh, they win. They continue their lives, happy now that they no longer live under the shadow of the overacheiving teacher. They continue to earn. Continue to build their retirement and savings, uninterrupted. Go on nice vacations. Get promotions. Continue to provide for themselves and their families. They never once look back or take responsibility for anything more than improving their own lives. Whatever happened to the teacher is "not their concern."

This is why the movies exist. This kind of real-life circumstance is why superhero movies are so popular. Why the supernatural is so popular. Why the fairy tale is so popular. In the absence of REAL truth and justice, suffering audiences have to look to fiction to satisfy their need for both.

Now you're wondering, but couldn't the teacher sue? Sure. But that doesn't mean what you think. There's no justice for what these people did. They don't go to jail. They don't have to do anything. The teacher is put on trial instead. The word of many against one? You really think the teacher has a fair chance? Well then, you've just proven my point, haven't you?

We all live in what social theorist, Jean Baudrillard, called "integral reality." Integral reality is the place between what's real and what has been created to look real--or simulacra. Simulacra is artificial representations of reality...things like movies, TV shows, books, YouTube videos, music videos, pop music, magazines, any kind of social/media--pretty much, any and all modes of popular culture.
 
We pay good money on a daily basis to buy entertaining distractions or ways to get those distractions faster, clearer, better--like the latest iPhones, iPads, Nooks, Kindles, tablets, smart phones, smart TV's...you name it. People take it for granted as something that's just normal and natural for 21st century life...but it's neither. People have no idea why, all of a sudden, they need to be distracted at ALL times. Life is devolving. And everytime we buy something more to fill the giant chasm in our very human souls growing deeper from the quiet, insidious dissatisfaction with a reality we can't change, we take another step (or ten) backwards.

When history looks at the first fifty years of the twenty-first century, do you know what will be seen? Not the decline, but the FALL. We're dying. We just don't know it. And like all walking dead, we pretend we have another decade of life, more chances, more opportunities--never recognizing that all of that is past. We have but months, weeks, days, moments...in the span of human history, we won't be remembered for who we were as much as for who we weren't.

Did you know that? Know that people are remembered, not for what they did, but for what they didn't do??? It's true.

We aren't facing the drunk, stinking reality of our decomposing lives at all but if we want something to change, we should. Family is all but meaningless. As parents, we failed our children by not giving them the chance to, ironically, fail. Now, we're stuck with a rising generation who never stand up straight because they're afraid of their own height.

Failure opens the door for success. At least, when you're young. The teacher in our earlier "for instance" was not. Young, that is. No one wants the table scraps, the leftovers, the day-old bread. No one wants "damaged goods." Such a prissy, weak lot, humanity. So vapid. So easily controlled. It will be our doom. "It" being "us." Our own worst enemy.

That parable about the eagle raised as a chicken is an outright fallacy. Genetics, not psychology, wins out everytime. You can't excuse yourselves with bad parents, divorced parents, no parents, abusive uncles, nasty school-mates...who you are, the "real" you, comes from three little letters that loom large in humanity's lack of social evolution: D. N. A.

Your psychology may help shape your views. Your age may make you cocky, or, terrified. Regardless, your DNA decides how you ultimately act. The eagle will be hungry for meat, eventually seeing its' chick-hatchling mates as food. Its' wings will grow strong. It will begin to try flight. It will begin to use its' naturally stronger claws and beak. Even if it never looks up once, it will still become an eagle. Because it is an eagle. Not all birds are created equal. Neither are all humans.

Some of you are chickens; others, eagles. The baby eagle kills its' hatchling-mate out of hunger, the corn-feed unsatisfying. It becomes a pariah amongst its' adopted brood, having "sinned" doing what comes naturally. One day, the eagle takes flight. It can't yet make it over the fence with its' wings alone, so uses its' claws, falling hard on the dusty ground after a clumsy start...but outside of the chicken coupe. No longer fenced in. It's an outsider now. Isolated from what it knew its' entire life. But something inside pushed it beyond its' knowledge, beyond its' psychology. Genes.

Hard to believe that yours may make you a coward. Or brave. Highly intelligent or highly stupid. Naive. Happy. Miserable. Even whether or not you have a sweet tooth is determined by your genes. How tall you are, or aren't. Your hair color. Whether or not you can see, hear, or how any of your senses translate to your brain. Whether or not you are articulate or verbally clumsy. Violent. Passive. Aggressive. Peaceful. Loving. Angry. Graceful. Witty. Dull. All based on genetics...not free will.

You think you are who you are because you choose to be so. But most of you are on autopilot. Most of you are chickens. But your humanity, ah...that implies choice. Your opposable thumbs and complex brains give you the chance to change your genetic destiny. But our obsession with constant access to integral reality renders our complex brains simple, our opposable thumbs, paralyzed.

So is the teacher a chicken, or, the eagle?

The colleagues that ruined the teacher's life better hope for the former. For if it's the latter, if the teacher is the eagle, at least a few of those colleagues may end up being fodder for a now starving predator. The colleagues believe they outsmarted the unfortunate teacher, the teacher now no longer part of their coupe. But if the teacher is, in fact, the eagle, the teacher can fly. While the colleagues are trapped by the fence. At the whim of the farmer. Or worse, the eagle.

And Jean Baudrillard? He is molting on the other side of the veil, freaked out by how ALL reality is integral. How, what he once thought of as definitive and "real," was the true mirage. How eternity for the eternal spark is plagued with nothingness. There can be no learning without physicality. An infinite amount of time to just exist. While those of us who are physically-manifest dream about a time when we won't have to do anything more than just that.

Irony. Cosmic irony. The best kind.

2012 is a year of fresh starts. In November, we'll be voting for our next President. But this year isn't just about making political change, it's a chance to get ourselves back on track as well.

In 2011, gold reached an all-time high, and the American dollar, an all-time low. Diamond-prices increased last February, and will only be going up from there. There were natural disasters and global social unrest that stunned the world in 2011. But today is January 10, 2012. ALL of that is over. It's time, then, to look ahead as we face 12 new months to set personal, financial and professional goals that will move us FORWARD. 2011 felt like a year of back-tracking, missteps, and utter falls. 2012 doesn't have to be the same. There really is a choice. Even if it doesn't always feel like it.

The first step is assessment. Where do you want to be personally, financially and professionally in one year? Be realistic when you answer the question. Assess what you can do to acheive your goals--things you can accomplish over the next year--again, being realistic is key. I give my students a warm-up essay based on a quote by Gandhi about imagining your life without failure, except in my assignment, it's a question of realistically assessing what one might do given a year of guaranteed success. Ten days into 2012, you have the same benefit. Now, you just have to begin to imagine what to do with it.

Fear is a powerful enemy. An enemy we create ourselves. Others help it along, true, but ultimately, the choice is always ours in how we deal with it. Bad things can and do happen--with no rhyme or reason. It's not God punishing you. It's simply being a part of the human equation. We have sensitive psyches, fragile bodies--we can be broken in many different ways--and that makes us vulnerable to all kinds of pitfalls. BUT, it also makes us vulnerable to perfect joy. To feeling empowered and therefore, helping others feel the same way. To using our vulnerability to bring peace to some, courage to others. And most of all, using our humanity to move ourselves upward, onward, keeping pace as we traverse into the unknown. There is a great deal of fear, but cowering your way through life only brings misery. And that's a long journey to undertake in horror. Bravery is always the harder choice but if you put one foot in front of the other, even if scared, you will see yourself through even the worst of circumstances...and be all the better for it.

Make 2012 the year you recognize your fear and move forward anyway. Fear makes it difficult to see things clearly. So recognizing its influence on your life is an important first step in moving forward. From there, you can begin to set goals to make 2012 your best year yet!

Every month, you need to be able to see your progress toward your goals. If one of your goals is to save $10,000 in 2012--a reasonable goal if you're employed and have no debt--you will need to put about $800 in cash in a savings account each month for the next 12. That may mean changing your spending habits, or finding a part-time job to supplement your savings. Maybe $10,000 is too lofty a goal--about $400/month will see you $5,000-richer by 2013; $200/month will see you $2500 richer. Even if all you can afford to put aside is $50/month, over 12 months, you'll still be $600 richer than you are right now.

Saving money is one of the easiest ways to see how cumulative efforts can add up to positive change. But what about professional goals? That's not always as easy to add up.

If you're not happy with where you are in your career, nothing can change until you do. If you've been frustrated with the job market--which has been VERY frustrating since 2008--think of how you might use your body of skills differently. Maybe you'll need to take a few classes at your local community college, or hire a resume doctor to help you revamp your job materials. Regardless, if you do nothing, there can be no change. One of the best ways to test the employment waters is by CASTING A WIDE NET. What does that mean?

Essentially, you have to think outside of the box. If you've been applying to the same kinds of jobs with nary an interview in the last year, it's time to change your focus. Continue applying to every job that interests you, but try to see where else you might use your experience in this job market. Make an appointment with a career counselor at a local college. Find out what options may be available to a person with your education and experience. Get an assessment of what more you might need to enhance what you have for today's job market. DO NOT network with your friends. Your friends are most certainly in a similar position to you. You can let your friends know of your efforts; anyone who can help will offer. Otherwise, look to your professional circles to network and move forward; LinkedIn is a great resource to do this. Consider applying to jobs outside of your current city. Look at the employment pages of universities, colleges and hospitals or health centers. There are a myriad of broad-ranging jobs needed to make these employment hot-spots run. Your skill-set may fit better than you think. Another tip for professional change is to consider taking a lower-paying job in a company you want to work for. The idea of working your way up in the company may not be appealing, but in order to move anywhere in any company, you must first get your foot in the proverbial door. Shoot for finding and acting on 2-5 opportunities/week every week for at least 3/4 weeks each month in the next 12. If you do this, along with casting a wide net, getting some career advice and boning up on your education and experience, you WILL find that by 2013, you'll have made great strides toward acheiving professional change...and, success.

Personal change isn't as easy. Maybe you're goal is to get out of debt. That may seem like a financial goal, but if you're over-spending because your emotions--your fear--have taken over, it's personal. You may have had a bad stretch over the last several years. Maybe your health has taken a hit or three; perhaps you're one of the hundreds of thousands of Americans who lost your job in 2008-2009 and haven't been able to get back into the earning game since. Maybe you've dealt with a family health crisis, depression, divorce, bankruptcy...any number of these viable reasons--alone or in combination--are solid reasons to have sustained debt-damage in the last 3-4 years. The first thing to do with revolving debt that is $10,000 or higher is to review your resources. Using things like low-interest, fixed bank loans to consolidate your debt and/or using retirement savings to pay it off or down are your first lines of defense. You cannot use cash savings if you're unemployed because you need to maintain whatever cushion you have--without a steady income, cannot replace it once gone. Look around your house, see what you can sell on eBay or Craig's List that might earn you some dollars to pay off your debt. That, and not spending. Everyone has to eat; if you're buying your groceries with a credit card that has a high balance because you would starve otherwise, it may be time to look into food stamps. Government programs may not be something you want to use, but if you've been unemployed for 3 or more years, you may have to. 

If you worked for ten or more years prior to your unemployment, you contributed to government programs--just for this reason. Think of it as a stop-gap measure to keep you afloat without accumulating more debt. Your fiscal health and responsibility is worth the temporary hit to your ego. Life is long. Keep your debt short.

Things like student loans should be deferred if you're unemployed. Yes, you will accumulate interest but you can pay the interest while in deferrment--and that is much more afforable on say, $60,000 in student loans--about the average for 21st century students, which roughly equals $700/month in pay back over a ten-year period or $350/month over 20 years. 

You can find more hints and tips on spending and savings under the "21st Century Etiquette Series," including how to deal with maintaining social connections while spending drastically less. But if you need a new car in 2012 and are on a fixed income or have no income, and  if you have cash savings, use some of it for a downpayment on a used car with less than 35,000 miles. Something like a Hyundai offers economic options with warranties that are for 100,000 miles or ten years. Car insurance is less on used cars and though a lease is tempting, you have to put down $2,000 every 2-3 years to replace the car. Over a decade, that's $6,000 in down payments alone. If you put down $2,000 on a used car with less than 30,000-miles, you'll own the car in 5 and will enjoy no further payments for at least 3-5 years more. Over the course of a decade, that adds up to anywhere from $9,400-$13,000 in savings. Cha-ching!

Getting that pesky fear in check is not as easy; if that's the root of the blockade on your personal, financial and/or professional goals, it's time to find a good therapist to talk out your fear(s) on a weekly or monthly basis. Don't worry about people making you feel like you're crazy for seeking help; seeking help isn't crazy. Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results is. Remove the obstacle and support your efforts by incorporating 60 minutes of cardio and strength training 6 days a week--you don't need to join a gym or take expensive classes. Turn on the radio and dance. Take a hike in a park. Walk in your neighborhood. Add a pair of 15-lb hand weights, and you're on your way to better physical AND emotional health for a $10 investment. Incorporate meditation; learn how by doing an internet-search. Start with 5 minutes of meditation a day, working your way up to 20 minutes over the next year. All for FREE. Your fear will be under control, and your life will follow.

No matter what you want to change in 2012, and no matter what your circumstance, you can move your life forward if you recognize your fear(s) and assess the actions needed to make positive change. Begin your journey toward getting richer, being happier, and acheiving career success. 2012 WILL BE a banner-year!

So what are you waiting for??? 

Go!

Your friend is diagnosed with cancer. A relative is facing a recurrent health issue. Perhaps it's a neighbor, your minister, or a colleague. People get sick. And chances are extraordinarily good that if a person has a chronic disease--which can include anything from the autoimmune category, like Lupus, to diabetes, to cancer--other health issues will follow. Sick people need sensitivity; sick people need support. Sick people do not need to be reminded they are sick. Believe me, they know. The sick are suffering levels of hell that healthy folks can't imagine, but that doesn't excuse insensitivity. Ever.

School is out. Luckily for you, the Doctor is in.

The twenty-first century has brought with it international unrest, a rise in negative social attitudes like anti-Semiticism, natural disasters the likes of which haven't been seen in hundreds of years, a global economic down-turn, wars, terrorism, increases in violence against women on a mass-scale described by the World Health Organization as a "pandemic"--and even more terrible, monstrous things. And yes, some good has come out of the new century, the most important of which are technological advancements. Improving technology helps promote mass communication, education, and of course, medical research. While all of these things are social-positives, it should be noted that though "new" cures for things like cancer seem to be on the verge of discovery every ten years or so, there is still no cure. Nor is there a cure for diabetes. Heart disease. Or things like seizures. There is, however, a global rise in all chronic disease. In other words, you may hear about how less people die from chronic disease because of new medical research, but that is not an indicator that diagnoses have diminished.

So, more people--not less--are sick. And will continue to be. The chances of the average healthy person having to write a get-well card or email, or make a sick-visit to a relative or friend, is quite high. About 50% of you will have to do this unpleasant but necessary social-task in 2012. And when you do so, you should be aware of what to say, and, when to shut-up. Because nothing feels worse than being sick, and while sick, having to deal with socially-inept imbecilic behaviors from "well-meaning" people. If you actually mean someone well, make the effort to learn how to appropriately do so. Otherwise, don't bother. Pity is never a friend to anyone.

First, make the effort to send a card or email immediately. Not a week later but right away. Follow up your card with a phone call. Not everyone has the time to visit, and that's perfectly understandable. Not acknowledging the sick-person's suffering is not. When you do pen that get well card or email, be sure NOT to say how "terrible" or "horrible" it is that the person has the disease. They already know and do not need any reminders from you. What they do need is a compassionate statement of acknowledgement: "I'm so sorry you're dealing with this; I can only imagine how difficult it is. Please let me know what I can do to help."

If you do add in that last offer to help, again, follow up with specifics: "I'm free on Tuesday night and can bring dinner for the family," or "This Wednesday I have the day off and can do your grocery shopping when I do mine." Don't over-extend yourself; that helps no one. But making a specific offer to help tells the sick-person that you recognize how the sick person's life is being effected while also understanding that the sick-person has enough to deal with and will not be able to respond to a vague offer--which in reality, isn't truly an offer at all.

Never say, "I know how you feel," or "I know what you mean," if you yourself have never experienced the same diagnosis as the sick-person. Never. It's insensitive; it's an untruth, and worse, it's incredibly rude. You also want to avoid judging the sick person's progress, or lack thereof. Doctors may give a general time-frame for when a person should begin to heal, or feel better, or complete a prescribed treatment, but medicine isn't a literal art. Basically, one size DOES NOT fit all. So be positive and encouraging, no matter what.

During your phone call or email or in-person visit, do not burden the sick-person with your problems or overwhelm them with negativity from your life. Doing so is like mixing the sick person's food with the contents of some petrie dish contagion or injecting the sick person with slow-acting poison--essentially, you and your negativity are toxic. Sterilize yourself and neutralize your negative "germs" before doing your good deed. The sick-person is a captive audience. Taking advantage of this fact is reprehensible. DO bring your smile. DO help the sick-person to see beyond their suffering by asking about positive future goals or
plans, or paying the sick-person compliments about their home and family to remind the sick-person there are still good things in this world. Something easily forgotten when sick.

And keep track of the sick-person's progress, even after your visit, call, and/or email; check in either through email or by phone every three days or so. Don't forget about the sick-person. Being sick is socially-isolating. Maybe the sick-person is bedridden at home; maybe the sick-person is in the hospital. Whatever the case may be, the sick-person is stuck. The ENTIRE reason behind having a society is not so that we may all be selfish gits getting on with our own business; other people are our business. We tend to forget that sometimes in 21st century life.

"Do unto others"...because without them, health (and wealth) are meaningless.